Remember creepy mom at graduation who looked at me and said something about "such a pretty girl"...
I think she gets botox injections, because her mouth doesn't move right when she talks. It's very strange.
ANYWAY - that's not what I'm here to tell you about. I'm here to tell you that she approached me yesterday. "Ummmm, yes, Rebecca, I've been meaning to talk to you..." Okay, I was a little scared. It was a little wicked witch of the west for me ... "come here my little pretty, and your little son, too." Her mouth doesn't really move, and she's wearing this dark pink lipstick and she knows my name??? Who knew? "I was wondering if you have any interest in Mary Kay products"
Oh for the love. Well THAT explains a lot. The embroidered denim. The flamboyant jewelry. The always made-up appearance. The staring. Okay, well maybe not the staring.
Am I that transparent? Do I actually, physically wear a sign that says "can't say no." UGH. And proceeds to tell me that she plans to encourage all of the 8th grade parents to maybe buy some of her products because she wants to donate a portion of the proceeds to the D.C. trip fund. Just.kill.me.now. And she wants me to come to her HOUSE so she can "treat me to a makeover." Sweet Jesus playing poker...please. Shoot me. So maybe she wasn't really saying how pretty I was earlier this year. Maybe there was a whole OTHER conversation going on in her head. OUTWARDLY she was saying "such a pretty girl" the END of that statement was in her head "if only she'd use some better skin care products and learn how to actually use make-up, she has potential" She was looking at the ring on my finger, and I thought she was doing the marriage check, when in fact, maybe she was sizing up my rock thinking "I bet I could get some money out of this one" and suckers me in with the whole "I'll donate part of the proceeds".
I told her I could use a hydrator. Only I didn't say that. I said something completely dorky like "I was using some stuff that's supposed to add more water to your skin, or something like that" and she nodded knowingly - ahhhhhh, you need a hydrator. And the tentacles came out and she jammed them into the side of my neck and WHAM! I was stuttering about moisturizers and dry spots and I think an oral fixation problem I had when I was little....I'm not sure...I kind of went into this zone of idiocy.
Anyway, we're totally friends now. Glad that's over. And I managed to find a band-aid for the holes in my neck where she sucked the life out of me. It's very Pulp Fiction.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
10 comments:
Can we call scary mommy "Stroke Woman" from now on? That can be code for "botox babe desperately clinging to her lost youth so much that she doesn't care if she ever talks right again."
So this bitch likes you because now you are a potential customer?
You know what I have to say,
Fuck Mary Kay. Buy MAC. MAC is a respectable makeup you go to a department store to buy. It's not Avon on steroids that you buy from a door-to-door product pusher. You know what I picture when I think of a Mary Kay salesperson? (I say Sales PERSON to be PC... maybe there are some men who sell it to men... )
Caked on foundation with way too much BLUE eye shadow and lippy. I see husbands that want to make out and get-it-on but don’t wanta end up with gook all over them. I see UGLY women when they first wake-up…… “hhaaaaaaah, don’t look at me, I don’t have my face on yet!”
Do you really need a hydrator? Seriously, isn’t that why people put produce on their faces?
What if you didn’t buy from this chick. Do you think she’d still be your BFF?
Maybe you intimidate her with your natural beauty and big mouth? (ha ha…big mouth!)
Maybe she realizes you are not going anywhere…
Maybe she needs her computer fixed.
Yeah, what Julie said.
Run Rebecca! Run like the wind! As far away from this strange, strange woman as you can...just say no. Seriously, you don't need a makeover...not even close. I can only imagine what you'd come out looking like when she was done. Don't do it.
If you want to look like her, buy away, otherwise, get on the bare mineral plan and you won't need a fucken hydrator.
I've been using a hydrator (only I didn't know it was called that) under my moisturizer on some "trouble areas" of my face for a little while now. I like it and it solves my dryness problem. MAC and bare minerals can't fix that.
Looking this good is hard work. HAhahahahahahaha
I don't think I'll ever buy Mary Kay makeup, but I could buy into a product I already use, especially if the proceeds go to Alex's trip fund. She said she'd bring me a sample.
I don't actually think the bitch likes me, either girls. Simma down now...
think of the blog material I would get out of the makeover - and I almost HAVE to go there out of sheer curiosity. And research for the blog. How can I possibly pass up that opportunity???
you would be suprised at what skin conditions bare minerals can correct, but,you have to give it more than one day, however I will just stop trying to convert you...
Pea,
Didn't you (in a previous life) tout the benefits of MK????
AHHH NEVER Anonymous, that was Aloette.
Ok, this whole thing is bigger than make-up and a trip fund. This boils down to Rebecca's insecurity and desire to be accepted by everyone. Yes, I said it and I'm not afraid too either. This is a self-validating issue and nothing else. Everyone is right Reeb, you don't need any of that crap but you do need the security of being like. Frankly, who doesn't? But you do have to draw the line between being yourself and changing yourself to be accepted. If you want to justify it by "contributing" to Alex's trip fund, just send them the money and go about your way. Furthermore, if scary mommy wants to make a contribution, why isn't she donating all of the proceeds? That would be the question I would ask since it's my opinion that she's just using the trip to make some mullah. Although, that is the American way so I can't blame her for having an angle...
Aren't you glad I'm back?
Jimmer - you're partially right. I do want to be liked and accepted by everyone. But I have not ever and will not change myself to that end. You know better. Remember me? The band fag? And still homecoming queen. HA! Take that popular girls!
I can absolutely just pay for Alex's trip outright - but if I can wash some cars, buy some hydrator that I'm going to use anyway and work a couple of soup dinners during advent that I'm going to attend anyway, why not?
There's a big difference in actual unhealthy insecurity, and me bringing everything to the blog so we can laugh at me and other people. I have all the friendship and security I need with the people I hold closest to me...I'm not losing any sleep over CMKM.
Post a Comment