Living my dream...

I had a dream...I did...so very long ago. And recently I was talking with a friend who is living my dream. Yes...it's true...he's....he's....buying things from infomercials.

When I was a little girl, I wanted the bedazzler, the ginsu knives (they could cut cans and then cut a tomato!), I wanted the beads you put in your hair, and even the knitting machine. I would wait for these commercials on Saturday mornings and write down the addresses as fast as I could on my large lined paper with the chunks of wood still in it. I swore I was going to save my allowance money and purchase these must-have items. I could doll-up my old blue jeans AND help mom in the kitchen while looking at my chia pet in the window.

It was such a wonderful world - the world where I ordered everything I saw in the infomercials. But that world was never to be. I never made myself that one of a kind stocking cap. *sigh*

And now, I'm still just as bad...many a time I have picked up the phone...and almost ordered
The One Sweep - they were offering 2-for-1 if I called in the next 10 minutes!
The Eggstractor - haven't you ever fought with hard-boiled egg shells and LOST??? No more!
The Pasta Pro!! - I love this pot - it's genius! I have peeled off layers of skin draining pasta incorrectly with the lid of a pan.

But mostly, mostly I want the magic bullet. And he has one. I've seen these in the store. They cost like $60. Now, as with my dilemma of my youth...how do I justify $60 on a food processor, blender, electric juicer and coffee grinder that occupies only the space of a coffee mug? Even if it stays handy on your countertop for instant meals and snacks, I just can't do it.

I've almost ordered all of these things, and yet I haven't...but I'll drop money like it's hot on countless bottles of wine. Huh. What does this say about me?

The worst part about this person who owns the beloved bullet - yeah, it's still in the box. BLASPHEMY! That's some sort of heresy against the infomercial gods, I'm sure. Oh the smoothies I could be making...the marguaritas...the salsa...oh the salsa.

He owns the laser level, too. Oh the agony!

So why DON'T I buy these things? I have the money - I could if I wanted to. Maybe I'm afraid. Maybe I'm afraid that if I start buying the infomercial products it will become like crack cocaine for me. And then I'll be that girl maxing her credit card out on QVC giving my kids obsolete coins, fake jewelry and bathroom butlers...living with my cats. Hmmmm, I already have a lot of cats. Clearly I can't start shopping QVC....but do they have shoes? Maybe just a peek...