*ETA: Per Sugar Snap Pea. The following is a guest blog by the Jimmer. I do not possess a "twig and berries", unless you count the set on my husband.
As most of you already know, I did in fact participate in the WomanLESS Beauty Pageant. This was a fundraiser for the Duneland Family YMCA and I’m proud to say that we raised some where between $20,000 and $30,000. I was approached about this approximately 2 months ago because our Father (me, Jbrave, and Eggo) threw me under the bus and nominated me. I didn’t think much of it at the time but Saturday afternoon I was a wreck. There where a couple of times where my girlfriend Nicole that I was going to puke but it was just the nerves. Enough about that stuff though and on to the “meat” of this blog. It was rather interesting preparing to be a woman. I borrowed a cocktail type dress from a woman in our office and it was very tight, black velvet dress; very form fitting if you know what I mean. At 4:30pm, after watching the Irish lose to Navy (oui vey) I jumped into the shower. I then shaved cuz I had day old stubble. I preceded to cut myself a number of times so that wasn’t good. Then, I put on the bikini bottoms. Yes, there was an evening gown portion AND a swimsuit competition. They were so tight on me that there was no room for underwear. (Not that you would wear them with a suit.) I looked at my ass in the mirror and then said to Nicole, “why didn’t you tell me my ass was so big?” She laughed and replied that I was really on my way to being a woman. Then it was time for the panty hose. Yes, I said panty hose. Jet black, Queen Plus. Well, let me tell you that is not an easy thing. It took me every bit of 10 minutes to put those suckers on. Not to mention how tight everything was on my twig and berries…Very tight and very constricting. So, I’ve got these things at my waist and Nicole tells me that they have to go higher. What, what are you talking about? She said that they were control tops. I don’t know even know what that means. Anyhow, I rolled them all the way up and then went up to my nipples. I left them at my waist…Anyhow, it was very difficult turning into a girl. I know have a little taste of what most of you go through on a daily basis.
More to come later about the actual event…
Jim
10 comments:
Rebecca should really warn us when she has you guest blogging about becoming a woman...I was really concerned for a moment, trying to figure out why pantihose would hurt her twig and berries, and why she would have a twig and berries in the first place.
i'm w/ ya pea. until i got to the very end i was like "what the....???"
lmao....thanks, that's better
I would have thought "girlfriend Nicole" and the references to "our father (me, jbrave, eggo) would have tipped you off LONG before "twigs and berries..."
"girlfriend Nicole" made me think it was a friend of yours you'd never mentioned before. which wouldn't be so out there. and i thought you were making a funny w/ the "twigs and berries". i was REALLY confused why you hadn't told me you were in this competition especially if you had to do swimsuit competition b/c i KNOW you would have been FREAKING out about that!
we're idiots, we can't help it :)
well the "why didn't you tell me my ass was so big" is something I can hear you saying...not that your ass is big or anything...but once I figured out it was The Jimmer, I went back and re-read and it made a whole lot of sense...what can I say, we're idiots
True, true...but you know there's know way I'm in a contest involving evening gown AND bathing suit without consulting ... ummm ... EVERYONE I KNOW.
People keep saying how much Jim looked like Meg. I was not there.
QUESTION--
What did you stuff the bra with and WHOs bra did you borrow? Or did you go buy one?
I love my brother!!!!!!!
People use to think we were twins when we were young. Me being bigger then I should have been for my age and Jim being smaller then he should of for his age.
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