Some of you know my extended family...some of you do not. For those of you that do, those last couple of posts probably came as no surprise. Even Mom Joy has been exposed to Rich yelling and turning up his hearing aids. It wouldn't be Christmas without it.
For those of you that do not know my PA family - seriously - you have no idea how crazy our bloodline is. It usually leaves my mom, Carol and I shaking our heads wondering, "how did WE turn out so normal???" And some of you would argue that we're not, actually, and that's fine, too. But with all the drama of the weekend Carol said it best, at least we know we have each other. Always. My Aunt Carol is great because I could seriously pick up the phone at any time and we could talk for hours. And I think the reason she and I get along so well is because she and my mom have such a great relationship. And they had each other growing up, and that's how they made it through whatever craziness from their youth.
Now me growing up? I didn't really have that with my sister. She always saw me as a thorn in her side who didn't wear the right jeans and I never cared about the things she cared about...but I did have Julie. She is the reason I am as normal as I am. (HA - for those of you saying 'well THAT explains it' HAHA to you) And even though she once gave me a black eye with a game board ... my best childhood memories are wrapped up with Julie...
smoking weeds ... no, not weed. weeds...these tall hollow pieces of grass we would light on fire and pretend like we were smoking cigarettes.
drinking my first beer....what were we Jul, 10? 11?, when we snuck those PBR's out of Harry's stash? UGH. They were soooooo gross. We only opened one, had two sips and vowed we would NEVER be drinking THAT again.
monkey balls...if you don't know what they are, I can't help you. The big green balls that grow on trees. We would line them in the road and watch the cars splat them.
pickle...yes, I run like I have cerebral pulsy. Not to make fun of anyone afflicted with such a dreaded condition...but I am misaligned in ways that the elephant man would envy. I cannot and should not run. ever.
hours in the woods...seriously, how is tree-crossing NOT an Olympic event? It was for us.
seances...we could talk to dead people. really. and we were all light as a feather and stiff as a board.
The awesome fivesome...Now it's a foursome...and we call ourselves the ya-ya's. But then and now, you won't find a tighter group of friends. No matter the distance, no matter the time...
And finally...PHOTOGRAPHS! How many hours did I spend, did WE spend, modeling, posing, setting timers running, laughing...OMG. I am so very glad my friend is finding herself in photography again.
And now in my adult life I find that I have surrounded myself with women who all have their own story, their own dysfunction, and we share, and laugh and share some more. I love my girls! Julie, Suzi, Sheryl, Jen, Kathy, Amy, Heather, Laura, Tiffany, Michelle, Joyce...who am I missing? So I raise my glass to all the people finding fun in their dysfunction. I hope you all had a Julie or a Carol or a someone to make you laugh at yourself.
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15 comments:
We did have a lot of fun. A few things you didn't mention...
-The Mighty Mustang Munchkins
-Playing cards over the property line when you (or I) were grounded to your property with no visitors.
-The annual neighborhood DOG CONTEST
-Selling clay (a.k.a. mud) pottery door-to-door.
-Putting on plays in your basement
-BASEMENT Bashes at my house
-“I’m going to kiss you now, and you’re going to let me!”
-Ferris
-Learning to drive a stick shift
-Your mom smoking up the house with burnt popcorn
-AND MANY MORE!
Laughing my ASS off...what classic, classic childhood memories. The friggin' DOG contest! HILARIOUS.
I remember my childhood sister friend, Donna, we did the WEED thing to, and we also smoked punks, which I think were just incense. My sister and I never did get along, her being 3 years older, cause I would always sneak her clothes, and my chest was bigger and it made her life miserable to have her shirts all stretched out. We get along real well now, I don't try to wear her clothes, and she has stopped trying to kill me (my chest is still bigger) Ah the childhood...that's it, I'm going back....
Playing cards over the property line? i'm peeing my pants. me and my little brother were literally the best of friends. i remember we were hunting for crawl dads in the creek down the street (we lived in bfe like the rap does) and we would find them and sell them to my dad's friend for fishing bait. Anyways, my brother is in the creek (at 4 years old mind you, my mom never watched us) KIDDING, and he gets out COVERED in leeches. what is the classic heather move in a situation as serious as this???!!!??? LAUGHING MY EVER LOVIN ASS OFF and practically peeing my pants while my little brother is screaming his head off b/c there are blood sucking slimy creatures ALL over him. We didn't have a "neighborhood" so we made our own fun. Like one day walking through the corn field to get to the woods behind our house and my brother HAVING to take a shit right that moment. he did. and wiped w/ a leaf. oh yeah, it was POISON IVY! my mom loved that.
You guys would love the popcorn story. I think Julie and I had just had the big "fire safety" week at school. So the popcorn is burning, filling the house with smoke...and I remember Julie and I being in leotards and tights (could it be when we were rehearsing our big roles as the vultures in 'The Jungle Book'???)...so anyway, the smoke detectors are going off and Julie, my sister and I are crawling down the stairs to 'stay lower than the smoke' and shouting 'Stop, drop and roll!' It ended with my mom whipping the entire pot out the french doors into the snow. Good times.
sugar snap pea - so glad to know that someone else 'smoked weeds' - we thought we were so cool.
tig - you're killing me.
I love it when women talk about their chests...
I don't remember most of that stuff. Dog contests? What the crap is that? Chipper probably won anyway. I still like throwing monkey balls though....
Finally, the kissing quote is JS, isn't it?
Richie Bailey (neighbor to the Pakish's and Anton's) took a crap in the woods between our house and Rebs. Um, yeah, it was green. Seriously, olive green....DOug poked it with a stick...
No, Jimmmer - the Forszt's dog won. They were new to the neighborhood then and it was our way of welcoming them. Despite us creating and handing out ballots AND placing a ballot box on the corner in my yard, no one voted. What did we give them, Jul...a plant, I remember that, and I think some dog treats and a snickers bar or some crazy thing.
It doesn't surprise me that you wouldn't remember...you were too busy watching Rich take a shit.
I LOVE that he remembers Doug poking it with a stick. that's fucking hilarious!
I have to say, I never have witnessed someone nor have I actually poked pooh with a stick. I think I am going to stop in the woods on my way home tonight, smoke a WEED and poke some pooh...sounds like a plan...you have to admit RapC that some of those weeds were pretty tasty.
Anonymous is Sugar Snap Pea
SHERBEAR!!!! How great to see you out here. Those were the days, eh? OMG - our high school years could be a movie. What about Dr. Blank's house?? Hangin' out the roof of the Hyundai baby. Eating everything in Steffen's pantry.
So glad I still have people with these same memories. it would be a shame to let them go....
I think either the awesome fivesome or fab. 4 should write their memoires(sp?).
You're probably right, Jimmer...
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