The chicken story...

It's a two post kind of day...
Some of you may remember the duck story...well, my neighbors are working overtime on the "Who wants to be White Trash" show, so it just keeps getting better.

One day I look out my living room window and see a deck box in my neighbors yard. Right on the property line, out in the grass...far away from any patio, and hence far away from any patio furniture. This confuses me.

What confuses me even more is that later in that day I see my neighbor carrying some wire fencing from the back 40. Hmmmm...

Then the fencing goes up in a circle from the ends of the deck box. What in the WORLD is he doing?

And then the chickens go in the fencing. Yeah, 3 roosters and 5 chickens, I think. And the deck box is the chicken coop. Right on my property line. Roosters. That crow. At 4 am. And are right in the sightline of my dog kennel. Where I have 3 retrievers. Seriously? You're kidding me, right? You have 10 fucking acres and you put your roosters and chickens right in front of me, right in front of my dogs. In a deck box. A DECK BOX.

This was a little over a week ago. And since then I've been trying to be careful about letting my dogs out, because I'm afraid if they go anywhere near that fence, it's game over.

One day last week, one of the rooster jumped on top of the deck box and promptly out of the "coop" while my dogs were out. I told Alex to keep the dogs occupied near the pond,and ran to get the neighbor to fetch his escaped rooster. Then on Saturday, Joe discovered the coop while Krypton and Jessie were playing in the pond. He circled the coop, scaring the chickens half to death causing them to all fly OUT of the coop. Chickens really are stupid. Don't go in the deckbox, fly out of the very fencing that is protecting you from this large toothy creature circling your pen. Joe was so amazed and startled at the sight of this he did nothing. I put the dogs away and the neighbor kids got all the chickens back in the coop. All is well.

All of these stories have one thing in common. My presence. My dogs listen to me more than anyone in the house.

Yesterday I tell Alex and Owen to let the dogs out for a bit. I had chewy bones for them, and usually if you give them something like that, they each lay in a different section of the yard chewing and wagging and generally staying out of trouble. At least that' s what happens when I'M there. But yesterday I wasn't there. I was enjoying a cocktail with my husband after work. I tell Kevin "I told the boys to let the dogs out"... he responds with "Well, there's a dead chicken waiting to happen" No, nooooo, I say, it'll be fine...they're giving them chewy bone thingies...it'll be fine. Do we remember what happened the last time I said something would be fine? It resulted in Alex standing in front of a room full of people chewing his gum like a cow. I should clearly remove this phrase from my repertoire. I know nothing about things being fine.

Not 15 minutes later Alex calls and says "Well, the dogs discovered the chickens today."
Me: "Is everything okay"
A: "Jessie killed one of them"
Me (freaking out): "Are you kidding me? A rooster or a chicken"
A: "One of the little brown chickens. She carried it over here and by the time I got her to drop it it was dead and she had ripped one of the legs off."
Me: "Oh my God. Where is the chicken now"
A:"I threw it into the woods. Burying chickens really isn't my thing."

OH.MY.GOD.

So we don't know if the neighbors were home or not, or if they have noticed they are one chicken shy of a full deckbox, but I have to go talk to them about this. I heard it through the grapevine that they only paid $5 per chicken. So do I just go offer them money? I have to acknowledge the chicken massacre, don't I? Sweet Jesus...again...this is my life. Couldn't make this shit up.