Ah, yes, the rooster...cock-a-doodle-fucking-doo. Despite any misconceptions you all may have about roosters, they don't just crow in the morning. They crow the entire time they are awake. The roosters next door start at 4 am. And what some of you may not know is that my husband sleeps so light that the clouds passing over too loudly can cause him to sleep with earplugs in. So he's already been plotting ways to secretly kill these roosters. Besides...who has 3 roosters for 5 chickens? I know FARMS of chickens that don't even have a rooster...they borrow one from the farm down the street. That cock is so busy doodle-dooing I don't think he even has time to crow. How do I know shit like this happens?
Well - I used to work in North Judson. Farm country. One day I'm in the post office and I hear a rooster crowing. This happens several times while I'm standing there at the counter. Finally I ask "Is that a rooster?" The post office lady rolls her eyes, lets out a sigh and says yes. And it's been crowing all day. Ummmm, pardon me ma'am, but why is there a rooster in the post office? One of the farmers is MAILING it to another farmer so they can have chicks. Seriously? Seriously. Cocks in the mail...brilliant...and legal.
But I digress.
So yesterday my dogs are out, pretty as you please...and not bothering anyone. Until it's time to put them away. From their kennel they can see the chickens/roosters. Which are almost never in their pen these days. The roosters hop up and over the top and the chickens just walk through the damn fence. So almost all of the fowl are out and about...some of them on my property which is oh, say...3 feet away from where they live...so the dogs who WERE going into their kennel are now off and running and chasing down the chickens. Well the chickens are SCATTERING at this point...so the minute I get the dogs off of one, they are off and chasing down another. I can't keep up. I'm screaming and running and throwing my phone at them (it was the only thing I had on me). This, I'm sure paints a hilarious picture for you as you all know I cannot run. I should never be seen running. It's not pretty. I should most definitely not be seen running, screaming and throwing phones. But there I was...feathers flying, me screaming and chickens scattering. They tore a lot of feathers off of the one rooster who then hid behind some day lilies while I distracted the dogs.
Another mess of feathers out of another chicken, who escaped after I threw the phone at Jessie, and went back through the fence and into the deck box.
Last night I was very upset. I didn't know what to do.
I did what all 30something women do when they have a problem. I called my mother. Who, surprisingly enough, didn't have an answer for me.
And this morning, on top of the deckbox...there was the rooster, short a few feathers, but cock-a-doodle-dooing just the same. Kevin says I stopped the fight too early. Oy.
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6 comments:
I agree with Kevin. If the neighbors are so stupid to put the deck box coop so close to dogs and then just let them do what ever they want and get out so easily, let the dogs have some fun. Might solve your rooster problem.
Have you said anything to the Stupids about moving the deck box, and that you can't guarantee what might happen to a stray chicken that roams on to your property? After all, possession is nine-tenths of the law. Oh, wait a minute, that might just be a myth. Anyway, we have no control over animal instinct, do we?
Ahhhhh, finally a chance to use my favorite expression.
Let em eat cock.....
No seriously, you have no responsiblity at this point to control this (for you Jimmer) paper plate's animals, the worst you should have to deal with is your dog puking up feathers, again, the (again for Jimmer) paper plate has made his stupidity your problem, that is SOOOOOO unacceptable. Let the feathers fall where they may, and if the dogs murder the rooser, chickens, donkey, circus monkey, and elephant, WHO GIVE A FUCK, my guess is they will be in a better place than with this Jack Ass (sorry Jimmer)
I would like to put out this disclaimer that I do not endorse animal tourture or cruelity towards animals. I would much RATHER see the dogs go after the human butt hole, but UNFORTUNALTY, stupid people are also protected under laws, whereas the animals (sometimes smarter than asshole neighbor) can be disregarded (not my thoughts, it's the law)
Mark - I agree...dogs are gonna do what dogs are gonna do. The problem is, these are new neighbors and I don't know what to expect from them. Currently they are being quite understanding about the whole thing and admitting their own fault, so it's great.
But if that changes...major riff. And when there are only 6 houses on your street, you tend to want to keep the peace.
And I've determined that chickens must be the dumbest species of animal EVER.
Now the geese - they hold their own against the dogs. Them I don't worry about.
:)
Good to have you on board...comment anytime. We used to have a Malamute, best dog ever. Any Malamute lover is a friend to the blog.
Mark - I AM the token IT person on Steve's blog! Great to have another leaper from there to here. I met another blog friend, Eileen, from that very same place and she's lovely...
We're (read I'm) trying to be very patient with "the next-doors" - they just moved onto 10 acres having lived on the south side of Chicago. I don't think they're quite used to the space they have. ;) It's a learning curve to say the least.
Then I get to come out here and bitch about them and purge it all. Hurrah!
Stop in anytime...and good luck with your blogging adventure.
Mark - welcome...and if your first time responding is on the day that Rebecca tells you that you're "broken," then you're truly a brave man.
Speaking of Steve's blog - he's totally MIA.
And I'm glad it's sunny in Indy because it's cloudy and rainy in Oregon (surprise!)
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