Tale of a cookie monster...er....thief....

So yesterday was quite an interesting day. But to tell you that story I have to tell you this one...

Once upon a time, a thirtysomething decided to upgrade the phone system at the office. This was planned for two nights, after hours. Brilliant. Last Tuesday was night number one. Things were programmed, life was good. I was out of here by 9pm. I was told that the hardware install would basically be plug and play and wouldn't take long.

Ahem. Flash forward to Tuesday night. I get the kids home, come back to work. We start the install. Things are humming, humming humming, the new system comes up. Oh yeah, PS, NONE OF THE PORTS MATCH THE EXTENSIONS? What, you say? What does this mean? And more importantly, why do I care??? Well, you care because it affects me...and what does it mean? Well, you don't really care about that so I'll skip it.

ANYWAY...because of all of this...we leave here after 3AM. 3AM people. (And katmat I KNOW you're singing that song now...I read you like a BOOK! A book I say!) I clocked out at 3:02, turned off some lights, set some alarms, walked out the door, scraped the frost off my car. I roll down my window to remove said frost and when I push the button to put it back up...nuthin. N.U.T.H.I.N. nuthin. Did I mention there was FROST on my car? That means it's COLD people...COLD. And it was now like 3:20 in the morning and I have to drive 35 minutes down I-65 at 75 mph with my window down. Good times.

I'm frozen by the time I get home. Literally. My hands would not uncurl from the death grip I had on the cold cold steering wheel all the way home. Luckily I live out of my car so I had a sweatshirt handy to wrap around my hands and the wheel for wind blockage. I did not have gloves. I get a couple of hours of sleep, find someone to fix my window. Work from home all morning troubleshooting various stuff...Owen comes home from school. Half day...parent teacher conferences.

The great cookie caper

He walks in with an assload of mail and a box of cookies. "Here you go, mom" he says. "What are these?" I ask. "Cookies from Market Day" he says. huh. Cookies from Market Day? I didn't order any cookies from Market Day. Or did I? Hell, I don't know, maybe I did...or maybe it's one of those promo things they do and I'm getting them after the fact. Whatever. Let's go to work. So Owen and I jump in the car and come up here to the office. We're eating cookies. They're really good. Shorbread with sugar and mmmmmmm...When we get here I tell Owen to see if the girls outside my door want cookies. And then he basically walks around the office handing out these yummy cookies.

We leave.

We go to Owen's parent teacher conference. Blah-blah-blah Owen's great, blah-blah blah can you help with the Halloween party we're having tomorrow? Sure. What do you need? Chips maybe. We have candy. "I had this box of individually wrapped jack-o-lantern cookies but I have searched this school high and low and I simply cannot find them"

Owen pipes in "Really? We got some of those, too."

I think I went ashen. I am looking at Mrs. Reyes and Owen and they're having this whole conversation about these cookies. I'm not sure what I looked like, but inside my head was pounding, OH MY GOD WE HAVE THE CLASS COOKIES! And we ate them. And gave them to my entire office to eat. Without even a second thought. OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG.

So we get out of the parent teacher conference and I ask Owen where in the hell those cookies came from. "The mailman" he says. HUH? Market Day has never MAILED anything. "Are you sure?" "I think sooo....yeah...well..." Okay...they came in the mail. So we DIDN'T steal the class cookies. Fine. Moving on. This is all making sense in my 2 hours worth of sleep world.

So we go home, change for Scouts, leave, comeback. Now I'm going through Owen's backpack. In it we find a big huge Scholastic book order catalog. You all know the order sheets they send home with the kids? Well this was the motherload of those. An American Girl catalog. ummmm, huh? A grad schmokken-flokken catalog...some sort of teacher's catalog. uh-oh. And Alex pipes in..."That looks like the book order thing that the teachers have, why do you have that Owen?"

And...
wait for it...
"It was on my chair with the ... cookies... oh my gosh...mom, the mailman didn't bring those cookies! That's right! They were on my CHAIR at school with all of THAT mail. So I brought it all home."

Oh yeah, that's right. We really did have the Halloween party cookies. So I now have to call the teacher and try to explain this. Before I could call her in the morning, she emailed me...
"I was told to call you or email you today
I think I might know what it is about
I searched the whole school for that mail and those cookies
Owen says he saw it on his chair so he just took it home.
Could you send them back and we will eat them on Tuesday, Oct 31st?"

Ummmmmm, yeah except we ATE them. shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit. Props to Owen for going straight to his teacher and telling her what happened. But he neglected the part where we ATE them. Oy.

So I reply and tell her that the cookies are, in fact, no more...but I'll be happy to replace them on Tuesday with something else!
The response?
"don't worry about it
I really got a good laugh about it!!
It is nice to know you still owe me
HA!
I thought you were acting a bit uncomfortable last night
Now I know why
It was an honest mistake
I don't know why Owen didn't ask why those were on his chair
THe sub would have known
we really don't need any treats on Tuesday
Eat and enjoy the rest of the cookies
You can help with our next party
have a great day and weekend"

Well, at least she's got a good sense of humor. I owed her before for cancelling out on the class field trip because of work. I had paid my debt. Now I'm back in up to my neck. I want to light myself on fire. Cannot believe this is happening to me. Only me, ya know? Seriously.