While I looked around
For my possibilities
I was so hard to please...
I'm starting my own little "annoyances.org" right here, right now. Seriously. Clocks of the world...UNITE.
I wake up. My alarm clock is set to a certain time, usually a few minutes faster that the "actual" time. This is a game I like to call "fool yourself into being on time." Right. Because I don't knooooooow that the time is actually faster, so I won't hit snooze? I'll jump out of bed screaming "Oh my gosh, it's 6 o'clock! I should be in the shower right now!!!" When I really do know it's only 5:54 and I have 6 more minutes, which OF COURSE means I have the 8 more minutes required by my snooze button. Seriously.
But I digress.
My alarm clock says one time. I turn on the news. My satellite says another time. The clock ticker on the news program says ANOTHER time. I walk into the kitchen and of course the microwave and the stove, even though I set them the same, are not in sync...and even though I set BOTH OF THEM by the satellite time (because in my head that's syncing up to some atomic clock somewhere) - they do not match the satellite time. We've had so many power outages I don't even bother with the radio time and the coffee maker time. Those I just ignore. Besides, do I really need 4 clocks in my kitchen with different times?
By the time I finish getting ready and get into my car, 5 minutes have passed. Even on my best day, with my plantar fasciitis in full blown agony, no way it takes me five minutes to get from my kitchen to my car. Have you people seen me walk? It might be awkward, but it's usually quick. My car time drifts all over holy hell...that thing is syncing to the beat of it's own drummer. I've sync'd it with my Nextel (piece of shit that it is, but that's another annoyance for another day) - I've sync'd my car with that phone 52 ways from Sunday, but it just keeps drifting.
So I don't really know what time it is, and I have to have Alex to the school before 7:25am. Now there have been times when I've left my house with my kitchen clock saying 6:52, my car clock saying 6:56 and my Nextel saying 6:57 - I get to the school with my car clock saying 7:22 - and the door is closed which means by THEIR time - it's 7:25 and Alex is LATE. WHAT THE???
Who are they syncing THEIR time to? God? How do I get in on that action???
By the time I get to work it's 7:34 in my car, but 7:40 when I clock in. Whodawa? Because when I sit down my phone system says it's 7:36 and my computer says it's 7:37. Can you see how this all starts to get very...very...frustrating??? So I got here today and resynced my timeclock with my computers that actually do point to an atomic clock and I'm about to do the same with the phone system. My Nextel seems to be on that same frequency, so I'll change my car time when I go to lunch and sync my kitchen clocks to my Nextel. Satellite, morning news and school be damned. I know what time it is for fuck's sake so they can suck it.
I'm just tired of all the clocks in the world rebelling. Because by this time next week, my car will be minutes off, my phones here at the office will be minutes off, the timclock will be in it's own world somewhere with my kitchen clocks and I still.won't.get.Alex.to.school.on.time.
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13 comments:
For what it's worth, you're on the right track. I was watching some program (forget which one) and they were talking about this exact problem. "Their" advice was to set all your clocks according to either your cell phone or your computer as the time for those two devices is set automatically off of the "official" timekeeping device.
I only have three clocks in my kitchen and can't keep them in sync either (and one of them is a battery-powered wall clock). And I do the fool-yourself-set-the-clock-ahead thang with my alarm clock & the bathroom clock. Even when the power goes out, I reset them five minutes ahead. I know, I know, delusional but sometimes it actually helps!
Sorry, the above post was me. Forgot to enter my name. Yep, that kind of a day. :-)
I don't even use a clock. I have my phone and my internal clock does the rest...Hmmm...Maybe that's why everyone is always early when we meet...
Life's too short to sweat 5 minutes....Although it is frustrating.
Rebecca, does Alex get in trouble for being late?
By the way, on time is plus or minus 5 minutes of what ever time the other person has. That's the generally accepted standard...Even for schools...
Jimmer, I agree. Although, I'm 85% of the time early to everything. Raps, what is so frustrating for you....Is it the confining walls of your employment? i remember how controlling that time clock was....IT SUCKS!! even one minute late could through you in to shuddering convulsions. anyways, if its that....F*CK THEM! But.....I forgot, you still work there. I'll say it for you instead. :)
Jimmer....btw....thanks for your hilarious "slightly intoxicated" message when all of you were out Friday. Very fun. If i wasn't "slightly intoxicated" myself.....I might have noticed my phone ringing. Also, i might have been able to understand your message without having to replay it 3 times and then a 4th time at 7:30 the next morning to finally figure it out. Good times! So jealous i couldn't be there.
He's actually only been late twice this year so far...that I know of...but I have guilt because he's usually the first one ready and sitting in the car waiting on me. Whoops.
The timeclock doesn't actually affect me, Tig. I get the same paycheck whether I clock in at 7:35, 7:40 or 9am. It's more or less a frustration with the fact that no clocks anywhere in the world match. They all drift. I just reset my car clock to match my nextel and I GUARANTEE by tomorrow morning, they won't match. Very frustrating. You'd think the cars would be on atomic time, too.
The work clock isn't as traumatizing as the school clock. Getting Alex there before that door closes is stressful, you know, with me being such a morning person and all.
Anybody know what time it is???
Anybody care???
About time???
I pick and choose which clock I want to use based on where I am. At work, I use the wall clock, it's about 7 minutes fast. Chick, Chick Boom! I love sticking it to the man.
If it's early on a work day, I use my watch, because that's set to the train.
If I'm at home in the living room, I use the Cable box.
If I'm in the car, I use the car clock and what the dude says on the radio.
If I'm at the beach, I use the sun.
If I'm sleeping, I don't really need a clock... but if I wake up, I glance at the clock across the room (it has big red numbers ... red 5 12.....) to see how much more sleep I have to look forward to.
I don't rely on bank clocks. Seriously, why would anyone? Fools.
I never use my cell phone. Well, I never use my cell phone to tell time. I use the hell out of my cell phone for talking.
I'm done.
Chick Chick Boom, I love it.
MRA 3 = DORK
CHICK chick BOOM - Julie, you're killing me.
Chick Chick Boom was started by MRA3. One afternoon at the Flannery's he was saying "Chick Chick Boom" and doing the nonverbal shotgun cock. In his tipsy little head he thought he was saying ba dan dant...drums and a cymbol.
It's also called a Rim Shot.
Get your minds out of the gutter kids...
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