So I did it, I succumbed...I drank a Diet Coke - nectar of the devil and benevolent addiction gods. I'm trying to figure out what in the hell is wrong with me that I'm yawning 50 million times in a day and literally cannot keep my eyes open. So I have to ask, what have I changed? I removed DC from my diet, that's what. But I've been taking green tea pills! Chock full of wonderful natural caffeine, so I shouldn't be experiencing any withdrawal. WTF? I haven't had a headache since the first day!
My husband found this diet coke somewhere in the garage and stuck it in the frig. On my way out the door I grabbed it...I'm not even ashamed. I put it in the cup holder in the car like I've done so many times before. It looked so pretty and right where it belonged. Alex got in the car and saw it sitting there.
A: Ummm, mom...should I keep this in the car?
Me: Yeah, Alex...I put it there. I plan to drink it.
A: No, I mean, should I keep it a secret? Like what happens in the car stays in the car?
Me: No, it's okay Al. You can tell people if you want, I'm not really keeping it a secret.
HILARIOUS! My son loves me so much he's willing to hide me falling of the wagon from the world.
Also funny from my oldest son:
Last week we went to the barber to get his hair cut. He's clip, clip, clipping away and shaving and clipping and then? Then he pulls out some vacuum cleaner hose attached to the cabinet and proceeds to vacuum my son's neck and head. Ummmm, what?? So Alex's response?
"Boo hairstyling vacuum attachments. Hooray beer!"
He didn't say it very loud - you could hardly hear him over the vacuum itself. But I knew what he said and almost hurled water all over the floor. We were both cracking up and the barber was looking at us like we were nuts.
Even more funny from Alex:
Kiwanis banquet on Wednesday. You have to fill out this questionnaire and they read it. On EVERY kid. Awards received, hobbies, future plans, future occupation. I was madly filling this thing out because my son's handwriting is IMPOSSIBLE to decipher without a Rosetta Stone handy, and I asked him what he wanted me to list as his occupation. "Still a large animal vet?" I asked. "Yeah...or a gunsmith, that would be pretty cool"
A gunsmith? Like in Williamsburg? OMG. Apparently that trip made an impression. I debated on whether or not to put in on there, realizing the ridiculousness of it. But it's what he said, so it's what I wrote. Who knows, maybe he'll move to Williamsburg and make guns for a living, who am I to say? So when the principal is reading this, out loud, to a room full of people, it sounds even MORE ridiculous than it did in my head.
Principal: "And Alex's future occupational plans are to be a large animal veterinarian or a gunsmith"
*chuckles from the crowd here*
Principal: Well, I guess if one doesn't work out the other one will
*full on laughter from the crowd*
Principal goes on to say how he likes to give Alex a hard time and thanks him for giving him more material.
Alex just stood there grinning. That's my boy. And I love him.
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8 comments:
I'm curious...do you feel more energetic since the D.C.? Or are you bummed you started again?
Your Alex and my Natty need to get together some time and go bowling. Of course, we'd have to wire them without their knowledge so we can write books about the hilarious things they say.
Right now I feel GREAT, Eileen. How scary is that?? It can't just be the caffeine, because the green tea pills and vitamins I was taking were supplying more than enough energy material.
My body, apparently, cannot function without the juice. How pitiful AND scary is that?
The thought of your Natty and my Alex getting together to bowl is so fun, because that would mean you and I would be there, too - probably laughing our asses off and embarrassing the shit out of them.
Good times.
He follows the guy-code even with his mother... excellent child raising.
Gunsmiths have cool nicknames like "Smithy","The Smithmiester","Gunny" or "Slash".........
Wait, thats A G-N-R nickname.....
Lets stick with "Smithy"
Thank you Scottish - I thought so, too. He's perfectly geared up for his high school years.
D - seriously - seek professional help immediately. Did you get my vmail the other day??
Alex is a whitty one...And to think that Chris and Kevin both thought he was going to be a Hair Dresser...
That's because they're gay.
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