So in a throwback to a long ago time - Kevin and I don't allow our boys to have "girlfriends." Well - that's not true - Alex could have one NOW, but not in GRADE SCHOOL. It's just silly. Silly and unnecessary. There's enough drama involved in being a kid without dragging the whole boy-girl relationship into it. We told him he could have a girlfriend in the sixth grade...because technically that's middle school age...and Owen had been fine with that...
Please note the past tense...
His friends go through so much drama over girls - moping at sock hops, not going to certain parties, having football jerseys not returned - whodawa? What are we, in high school? You're seriously determining your 10 year old weekend plans based on what your GIRLFRIEND says? NO...HELL no. Do what you want, go where you want, don't mope, don't fight, don't pout and the easiest way to avoid the whole fucking mess? Don't have a girlfriend! See? See how easy it is? We laugh when Owen tells us about how one of his friends was so upset at recess he couldn't play kickball. RIDICULOUS...see Owen...do you ever want to be so frazzled that you can't play kickball? No. Good...don't have a girlfriend.
But nooooooooooooo...Kevin and I know nothing, of course. And I found out through the grapevine, after the fact, that Owen did indeed have a girlfriend in the fall. No wonder he wanted to go to that girl's birthday party. Not that he ordinarily wouldn't. Owen gets invited to all of the girl birthday parties, and always wants to go because "they're my friends and it's their birthday." When I ask him what he'll do if he's the only boy he just shrugs "it'll be fine...I'll be fine. It's only 2 hours." Good kid.
But this particular birthday party in the fall was different. He was worried when the weather was bad that it would be canceled, and then angry because I got him there late...whoops. He and this girl broke up shortly thereafter. Fine.
Owen's been sick the past couple of days. Last night we were hanging out in bed watching Wheel of Fortune when the phone rang. It was Roger calling for Owen. And as my poor, pitiful, sick little man lays in my bed with his head on my shoulder I hear Roger say "Cheyenne is going to break up with you."
WHAT? Stop the presses...WHAT? Break up with you? Well Kevin heard it, too and I think Owen just wanted to die. Why on EARTH do you have a girlfriend after we specifically told you that you should stay away from that hot mess?? BUSTED. B.U.S.T.E.D.
His reasoning was quite clear..."I was afraid she wouldn' t be available next year."
So lemme get this straight. You have a girlfriend now, when you're not supposed to, because you're worried that she might have another boyfriend NEXT YEAR when you're allowed to have a girlfriend. Light me on fire, NOW. There are so many things wrong with that statement, I don't even know how to address it. Any ideas? Of course, you guys probably think we're nuts for forbidding the girlfriend in the first place. Lemme assure you - when you're son is wanting to SLOW DANCE at the elementary school sock hop while you watch teenage pregnancy on the upswing...not so nuts. The oversexualization of these kids is astounding, girls wearing pants with words on their asses, and songs that basically tell them not just that they should be screwing each other but HOW TO DO IT.
And people wonder why I drink.
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11 comments:
I can't even comment.
OWEN- what the HELL are you thinking. Your dating out of peer pressure!
AHHHHHSHGHHGHGHAAAHHHHHH
Has he kissed someone?
OMG
Not that I'm aware of, Jul - but who knows.
OMG. So, what are you & Kev-head going to do???? What can you do????
Waiting patiently for words of wisdom to save for later...much, much later.
As the mother of 2 daughters and a son, I'm a little concerned for the future as well. I can't imagine my oldest daughter, who is 6 1/2, wanting to date in 3.5 years. Now my 3 year old daughter already has 2 boyfriends... Scary!! Is it only going to get younger and worse? Say it ain't so!!!!
Um, why are there dances in grade school? That's the big WTF? for me.
I've been lucky with my kids.
Madeleine hasn't been too interested in the whole "dating" scene until this year (she's a freshman in high school and will be 16 in June). Don't get me wrong, she's had a couple of boyfriends but they both got cut loose pretty fast. One boy badgered her into it (grrrr) and she decided after much contemplation over the second that she guessed he was alright. He got cut loose as soon as he turned possessive and jealous.
Coleman (6th grade) is so very "whatever" about the whole girl-boy thing. There was one girl he liked for a while, but then he decided she was too much of a pop-princess for his taste and I haven't heard about girls since - even when I ask him about it.
So, I don't have a lot of advice. It's hard to forbid a kid from using a label that doesn't really mean anything at that age. But, I agree, you have to draw a line - especially if the school is supporting it with dances for Godsake. Coleman is in 6th grade which is technically part of the middle school since they are housed in the same building, but the 6th graders don't get to participate in the dances.
I guess the only advice I have is to work your magic through the PTO and get rid of the dances. Also, please don't tell girls who might call your house for one reason or another that "nice young ladies don't call boys."
I should also mention that Madeleine had several fiances in pre-school - she outgrew that phase. One of my favorite stories about her: she had a play date at the home of one of her betrothed of the time and he got upset with her over the fact that her matchbox cars could fly and talk. He told her if she didn't stop being so ridiculous he wouldn't marry her. She paused then asked, "well, can we still be friends?"
HA! Take that emotional blackmailing boy!
I love it... Wait til he turns fucking 15... look out :)
hey it is kiki, I love it... I fucking love it... Just wait til he turns 15 :)
I think the dances or "sock-hops" are okay for their age, but the should eliminate the friggin' slow songs. I mean seriously.
The problem is that the people running the dances think the slow dances are CUTE. Ummmm, whodawa??? NO. Noooooooooooooo...it's not cute, it' ridiculous. I'll continue to try, though.
Never, ever, ever, did I wonder why you drink...
That's why it would be good to just eliminate the dances. Then they don't have the opportunity to promote slow dancing!
If it's a matter of having a fun afters school thing for the kids why not just have a game night?
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