Save the drama for your mama...

Hey there bloggers...how are you?

Well...I've had a lot happen since last we chatted.

Where to begin? Well Thursday night bowling SUCKED. I mean....SUCKED. My first game was all right but after that...oy. nothing good. Kiki made a fantastic showing...but me...notsomuch.

Friday I got all caught up on laundry and such, which was a GREAT thing. So happy about that. I didn't get to have my Friday night phone date with Juls, though...she was already asleep by the time I had a chance to call. It's just as well. My champion wine opener...well...let's just say I got my money's worth out of it. But it had to be put to sleep, poor thing. It had stopped pulling the corks out of the bottles and started pushing them IN. Hmm. No good. Very sad indeed. The spare we have was not working either, so I was forced to drink BEER on Friday night while laundering my clothes. Not good. I will buy a new one today...don't you sweat it kiddies.

Saturday saw me with a makeover. I had a gig on Saturday night and wanted to actually look like a girl. And since I can't make that happen myself, I had to enlist help. From a 12 year old. Maybe 13, I'm not sure. Yes, it's true...because there was going to be a photographer at the gig who wanted me in "picture ready make-up" - yeah, I don't know how to do that without looking like a clown...so I talking to my friend Ang, who said she would hook me up. But who actually did my make-up? Her DAUGHTER. Oy. Of course she did. Why don't they have classes for this in high school? How-to-be-a-girl 101. I would need 101, 102 and the 200-series of classes to help my sorry ass, but whatever.

Then it was off to have my hair done. Wait til you see the pics! I wish I knew how to do this kind of stuff on my own, but I don't. My guitar player didn't even recognize me when I walked in! HA! Ab fab. The gig was fantastic...total blast. Can't wait to go back there.

Sunday I was dead. Just toast. My dear sweet hubby brought me breakfast in bed (he went and picked up biscuits and gravy from the restaurant up the road and a fountain diet coke...BRILLIANT!) And I slept and slept.

The Sunday Jam featured Shirley King (BB's daughter) and it was so fun. Packed house and I brought Alex out to play. What I didn't bank on was some drunk bitch adding a new chapter to my son's book: "The night I got to see my mom throw a drunk bitch out of the bar." Yeah...I apparently have a new title...bouncer. This idiot was causing all kinds of problems for Ms. King's boyfriend...and at one point walked up and smacked him upside the back of his head. Oh no you di'int! Bitch you better step off...so I jumped up and started telling her to leave and then she got in my face talking about how he pushed her. Ummmm, WHAT? This man sat there all night long not hurting anyone and you're going to tell me he pushed you? No. He didn't.

And then she crossed the line. She dropped the N-bomb. Oh hell no. You are not going to come into MY house and talk about anyone like that. So now I'm physically pushing her and dragging her to the door, and some bigger dudes are coming behind to help. We get her out the door and we're holding it closed...and she's screaming all sorts of pleasantries at me through the glass. Someone hands me her purse, which I crack the door open long enough to throw outside. "I need my cigarettes!" she screams....

Bitch, go buy some more is my answer.

Alex didn't have much to say about the whole thing...he said he had to get out of the way fast because the assaulted man got up right after me and was going after her, too. Luckily he was talked back into his seat, because nothing good was coming from that. Alex was surprised I didn't haul off and hit her. I am, too - but she wasn't worth going to jail for...especially not in front of my kid...