What a BLAST cub scout camp was! I love camp! I love it like I would marry it!
Tie-dying shirts and camp songs and canoeing and leather crafts (not like that you pervs!) and swimming and archery and BB guns...skit nights and more songs and kids running around everywhere shooting the staff and parents with water guns. BRILLIANT!
So this very awkward thing happened, and I want to talk to you about it. I told Kathy yesterday, and she thinks I might be overreacting a little bit, and I'll tell you about that afterwards. But I'm offended, and a little upset, so I'm paying my 5 cents to Lucy (you guys) and getting my dose of psychiatry for the day.
People say not nice things to me all of the time. Like rude things. Like things they wouldn't say to anyone else because it would be inappropriate. I see it here all the time. I'm digging for an example but not coming up with anything. But trust me, the shit people say to me, most people would find offensive. Most of it I brush off. And maybe that's the problem. Kathy is always amazed at my restraint when someone says something pretty awful, and I just let it go. They would NEVER say anything like that to Kathy, but to me, it's game on. Whatever, I must put out some vibe that let's people think I'm unoffendable, like that justifies it.
ANYWAY, I digress.
So at camp, I'm in my element. I love the staff, they love me. Kevin doesn't come to camp because he says he'll "cramp my style" - when really we all know it's because people are sleeping in tents and they snore...and well, Kevin could wake up from the sound of the shuttle in space firing it's engines, so sleeping in a camp full of snoring tent-sleeping people just really doesn't work for him.
George, the park ranger and I, go back a few years to my camping days with Alex. It's comfortable there, and George and I joke around a lot, as I do with most of the staff and the kids and well, generally everyone. As you can all imagine, I have friends before other people have their tents up. I quickly volunteered to emcee the scouters campfire on Saturday night, and that had me off and running collecting names of people and their skits, planning adult skits, making signs. We were doing our own version of "America's Got Talent" called "Scouts Got Talent" - I had judges, including one cubmaster who pretended to be Brandy and got a TON of laughs.
There's a new staffer this year, a guy named Pat running the BB Gun range. He's old school military and George introduced me to him on Friday night at dinner. George and I were cutting up and Pat announced "I like this girl George, she gives you a run for your money." Great, that sounds nice, right? Doesn't that sound nice?
The next day, Saturday, my boys are on the BB Gun range and doing really well. I was following them around taking pictures and talking with some parents who were shooting. Pat sidles up next to us and says to the dads I was talking to "Does she participate in anything or just watch?" I'm first offended by this, but he says it with a laugh, so I dismiss it. Rob immediately defends me "No, she just runs everything" - thanks Rob - I say "I'm too busy taking pictures, this is more about the boys. I did participate in swimming and canoeing though!" And Pat says "Now she's probably going to get mad at me for saying this, but she participates in swimming so she can show off that she's a girl."
WHAT?!
You are fucking kidding me, right? You did NOT just say that to me. How degrading can you get? I have been a devoted scouter for 6 years, the only mom from my fucking pack that will actually go to camp and take as many boys as I can with me so they can understand what scouting is all about, and you are going to reduce me to some chick who wants to show off her figure (WHAT figure?) in a bathing suit?? I have shot more arrows, more BB's, worked on leather projects, nature projects, hiked with the best of them. I was livid. Seething. It's a wonder I didn't slap him. How DARE he?
I calmly replied "And here I thought I got in the pool because it's 90 degrees out here and we'd just finished our nature hike" and I walked away.
THIS, this is what I'm talking about. The shit people will say to me and laugh it off like it's no big deal. But then my brain starts working overtime. Is this what other people think? Other moms were in the pool, too, not just me. My bathing suit is completely appropriate! It comes up to my neck, and it's fully lined and it has padding. I water tested it to make sure it wasn't see-through in the least. The legs aren't cut high, the front isn't cut low. It's seriously the most unattractive, unflattering bathing suit I could have purchased. It's one step shy of being a full wet suit. I bought this damn thing specifically so people WOULDN'T and COULDN'T say this very thing about me!! Damn you, Pat!!!
Kathy says that Pat wasn't saying it to offend me, he was saying it to purge it out of his system. That apparently he must have liked the way I looked or something, so if he said something awful then I wouldn't go near him anymore. Or something like that, it made sense when she said it yesterday.
I still think he's a chauvinist ASS.
7 comments:
I have to say that I agree a little with Kathy. I think his other problem is that as a man he does not want to see a beautiful young women as yourself doing manly things. You are a women your suppose to show your figure off and be a sun worshipper all day long. How old is this Pat guy?
Reba you get a lot of slack because your a young mom. I know you do not think of yourself as young but you are. I bet that a lot of the other moms are atleast 5 years older then you, the majority. Is that true?
And like you said your one of the only moms that take the scouts camping. Right there your already spotted out. Your a mom doing a man/dad event. I think he is an asshole becuase he really does sound like women need to be bare foot prego in the kitchen. I would like to take him on in some sport almost any sport and show him that women can do it to. I'm not saying I would beat him but I can say that I would try to hurt him. Did I say that?
I'm just happy your back so we may all blog again!!!!!
Hi RapC, glad to have to back and glad you had a rocking time.
Now as for this PAT thing. You have to understand, men are limited, extremly limited, and yes his comment does go into the pig catagory, however, since men are SO limited, they do not posses the "I have nothing to say so I will say nothing" button, they constantly and consistantly have to hear themselves speaking, mind you, they do not THINK about what they speak, but speak none then less.
You say he is old school military, well, there you go right there, he most likly does not deal with women, or women who do stuff, trust me, his women is in the kitchen, because HE put her in her place, and HE wants it that way, he is an ass and you probably won't see him again because they ALLOW woment at camp, and the camp will be the better for it, we don't need our youngens growing up with this mentality.
and yes, I do know of what you speak in the "I can say the meanest/sexually graffic thing and laugh it off as a joke to excuse my pathetic behavior" syndrom, seen it a million times in the "environment" and may have been gulity of it a time or two, but you have to take into consideration the source, the mentality of the source, the age vs. maturity of the source and just come back with some retort that shuts their fucking mouth
Yeah, the mean things people say to me, aren't even always sexual in nature. They'll just slam me about something - not in a joking ha-ha way, in a crass condescending way. Kathy has been floored many times.
You'd be surprised how many moms go to camp. I've met a lot of really great scouting women, who know TONS more than me.
Yes, Pat's comment is rather inappropriate. At the same time it's a rather bad back-handed compliment. I think your response was quite apppropriate even though Pat probably didn't percieve it as trying to put him in his place. Sounds like he's a bit thick headed and "old school" as you said. How old is this guy?
I'm a pretty bad judge of age...maybe in his 60's?
Oh, well then! Megan hit it right on the nose - his women should be barefoot and pregnant in the kitchen. Shame on you for being an independent and accomplished woman! Stick his comments right where they belong - the garbage! Why do you think I never had any desire to associate with men my own age!
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