Seriously, I don't mean to keep harping on this, but the sisters are now officially a problem.
So I did go to the store and buy new bras. 34DD it is. Fine. I'm slowly coming to terms with it. It's worse than turning 30. THAT I knew was coming. It was inevitable. This? This is just ridiculous. I'm not sure what's going on with my hormones, but apparently I'm pumping enough estrogen to turn the whole middle east crisis into one big cry fest. Ya hear that, Condie? You don't need international troops, just let me ooze my hormones over there for awhile, everything will be just fine...just keep the wine and cheese flowing, me and the sisters will get that all worked out.
Here's the problem. Remember when I was seeing the pinko-fascist physical therapists who tortured me like a Hillary Rodham Clinton fundraiser speech? ("It's the American Dream, stupid." Is she SERIOUS? Shut up Hillary, you embarrass my party) Well, these new bras of mine? Same effect. Pain. Sure everything was sitting pretty and the sisters felt great about themselves (and looked good, too), but the end result was me in tears on my fabulous beach vacay unable to consume exorbitant amounts of alcohol and crying for my muscle relaxers (read "mommy's little helper.") It was bad. I was a mess. I couldn't figure out what I had done to cause myself so much pain all of a sudden. I was good - I didn't lift too much when we packed/unpacked. I didn't drive to Michigan. I wasn't on my computer. I wasn't doing anything I wasn't supposed to. And BAM! No feeling in my fingers on my left side. Just burning achy inflammation. It was the bras. Two days of wearing them and I was a disaster. Julie performed some drunken voodoo stuff later in the evening when I wasn't so cinched up. Yeah, that's right. Me on the floor and Julie twisting and pulling and it was hilarious because I was laying on a rug on a hardwood floor and the rug kept moving and we kept laughing...She was amazed and concerned at my inflammation. I share this concern. I'm still trying to get in with my ortho which more and more I realize will probably be a big gigantic waste of my time.
So how do we feel about acupuncture, kids? Because I think that's where I'm going next. Michelle suggested a sports medicine doctor. Anyone know one? No, no one has mentioned a reduction in the sisters. No one has mentioned the amount of time I drive or spend in front of a computer. No one has mentioned anything that could potentially be an irritant for me to avoid (besides my husband...as the irritant that is, and HE'S the only one mentioning THAT). So essentially lifting the sisters put some sort of pressure on my shoulder that wasn't good. What does THAT mean?
"Sometimes it's hard to be...a woman..."
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13 comments:
its a hard price to pay to look good sometimes
Below is the website of the doctor that did my friend’s breast reduction. She said she would be willing to talk with you if you ever have questions.
http://www.plasticsurgeryexperts.net/
$8-10K later she has PERFECT boobs. She doesn't even wear a bra with some strappy dresses anymore.
AND I bet, with all your troubles, your insurance would pay for it.
Do you REALLY think you need a reduction, how about some back strengthing excersise??? I know you hate it, but that may be your key, strenghten the core and you may be able to tolerate the extra "weight" on your chest??? What do you think??? Accupuncture I am all about, but I cannot recommend anyone, Big R has a customer that goes and sees an old chinese guy, you want his name???
There's a place in Chesterton that does it - Julie's dad went there. If I go, I'll probably go there.
That may be the place as he is in Chesterton!!!
Could it be a pinched nerve? Time for a neurologist?
It's time for something...we'll see what. I'm going to push to get in with my ortho and see what happens...
maybe I'll try sports medicine - heaven knows I have enough neurologists at my disposal. I guess I could give him a call as well.
East Wind Accupunture is here in Town, but it's a lady I believe.
Rebecca, please do not get a reduction. Don't you remember when we used to call you the wall?
I am willing to provide a massage service weekly for the girls. Free of charge. Just let me know.
Love ya and good luck.
Heather says to stop whining about your boobs. I tried to get her to get into the blog but she says she doesn't have those problems...
Heather is my team mate that I share an office with.
She doesn't have to have those problems to laugh at mine...
She must not have boobs if she's not whining about hers, too...
And lets be clear - I'm only whining about my boobs because
a) I've outgrown my bras so it looks like I have 4 = unattractive
b) I bought new bras so I only have 2 boobs, but now the new bras are making my shoulder problem flare up
c) I have a fucking back problem.
d) We are talking about BACK massages here, right Jimmer?
e) oops, I guess d really didn't have anything to do with my whining.
f) I probably won't get a reduction, but I do need to get this figured out. I'm one step away from popping vicodin like House.
She has boobs, but I am not allowed to comment on them. Actually, I view Heather as a sister...I am from Tennessee though.
Of Course we are talking about back massages. What did you think?
I say, the more boobs the merrier. Go back to 3, hell, make it 4.
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