Amongst the many crazy goofy things I've committed myself to, I sit on the board for the Northwest Indiana chapter of Thrivent Financial for Lutherans. We give out money to people. It doesn't require a lot of my time, and it gives me those warm fuzzies to counteract the laundry list of reasons I'll probably end up in hell. And there's a big Christmas dinner at the end of the year at a great restaurant in Kentland. Yeah, Kentland. Okay, so maybe this is kind of why I may end up in hell. I'm really doing it for charity reasons...I swear...it's not the food...yeah...okay....I don't even believe me.
I sit on this board with a bunch of 90-year-old men. During my "interview" with the former president of the board, he wanted to make sure I knew how to use "those computers" and access "the internet." Do you know how to use the internet, he asked....ummmmm, yeah...I think I got that one covered. I told him I worked in systems administration so I would be fine. Yeah, okay, he said, but do you know how to use the internet? Seriously.Killing.me. I am the records director, which is just a fancy way of saying I'm the secretary.
One of these men is particularly curmudgeonly. I mean he's one of those opinionated old-timers with a booming voice and can be very intimidating. VERY intimidating. He reminds me of my high school calculus teacher - you guys remember Bob Waskom, right? "uuuuummmmmm, Beggggy...do you haaaaave a brown calculus book?" That sharp tone, that southern drawl...refusing to call me anything but "Beggy" because I don't think he was capable of formulating a hard c sound. Anyway...his name is Guy. And he's quite the character. We were discussing the upcoming "election" for the board (no one cares about us and believe it or not, we have a hard time doling out the almost $10,000 our chapter is given by Thrivent every year) and he was saying something about sending a letter to the churches about the "ballots" they need to put out so they can hold an election in September. He was saying he wanted the letter to include some language about "thanks to all of the efforts of the congregations, we have filled all of the board positions...blah...blah...blah" - which is a load of hooey and we all know it...we fill the positions by begging anyone who will do it. The congregations don't do crap for us. So I say "I guess it's good that you can't pick up sarcasm in the meeeting minutes" and I laugh. Guy at first looks at me in shock and then...wait for it...laughs at me. "Oh there was no sarcasm there..." he says. Uh-huh - he LAUGHED people. I totally broke him! This curmudgeony old goat laughed. So now I have two reasons to sit on the board....ONE - buying my way into whatever good place comes after this - because I'll be damned if my spirit, or my energy or my soul or whatever is left after this hunk of muscle and tissue turns to worm food is forced into an eternity of wearing bad shoes, drinking Boone's Farm and listening to K-Fed CD's. If there's a hell, that's it. Just put my sister there with me and it seals the torment. TWO - to remove the corn-cob from this old-timers ass. He really is a nice guy who cares about people, but he's so.hard.to.deal.with. I have a project. I think he thinks I come from a different planet sometimes. Can you see me sitting in this room with the seniors trying to hammer out plans? Sweet Jesus - talk about wanting to light yourself on fire.Tonight: Dinner at Wagner's...mmmmmmm ribs......
Tomorrow: Birthday party for my niece.
Sunday: Opening day for football, baybee! IF Owen gets to play. He missed the official weigh-in because we were on vacation, and the next one isn't until Monday. His coach was going to call the other coach and see if they would let him play since he's not even close to being over the weight limit for his league. If he does play, he's playing tight end, some linebacker position, and he's one of two quarterbacks. Should be an interesting year.
4 comments:
How long have you known this Guy? I think that is a crucial part of this story. Maybe you don't know him well enough and you are just reading him wrong. Plus, if he's really 90 you have to remember that you are from a different planet, and not Pluto. (Oh, it's not a planet anymore. I've been living a lie.) It's a generational planet. He lived through the depression, two world wars, the Korean war (I love Chae) and the Vietnam conflict. Not mention what goes on today. The point is that older people have a very different perspective than we do and you just have to find that common ground. I bet he refers to African-Americans as "Colored People." Talk about old closed minded thinking, but at (supposedly) 90, you're not going to change him. Trust me. I tried with my 89 year old Grandma and my 94 year old Grandpa. They started using the terms out of spite...Which made me chuckle because she knew what I was telling her but didn't want to change. Furthermore, she doesn't get out much so it's not a problem.
Booo Long Posts. Hooray Beer! (and The Jimmer!)
I've known Guy for about 2 years now. He's really not 90. I'd put him in his 70s maybe?
I am absolutely not reading him wrong. He's a curmudgeony, my-way-or-the-highway kind of Guy. Very abrasive. But like I said, deep down, there's a big heart there. I'm just in it to see him lighten up a little bit! And in two years...that's the first time I've seen him LAUGH.
Ummmm boooo Julie not knowing who K-Fed is or that the reason we say boooooo is because of the Red Stripe commercials...
Hooray beer and ribs!
MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM Ribs!!!
Hey Rebecca, does Suzi read the blog?
I don't think so - but I'll remind her about it today, considering I'm going to post about her.
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