OMG - so Alex has a girlfriend. Okay. Not a girlfriend. A girl who is a friend. And he likes her. I mean he LIKES HER likes her. And I'm pretty sure she likes him likes him, too, because, well, she can't stop poking at him and she gives him things. And she's adorable.
So I'm at the soccer game yesterday, and this girl, we'll call her Nancy (no name to sling her name through the blog mud), she's supposed to be on the team...wait...let me back up.
Nancy's mom offered to take Alex home...wait...not far enough.
I get this fucking soccer schedule and all of the games start at 4pm. Which means they have to be on the field warming up at 3:30. Which, when the games are at home at Trinity is NO problem. The problem, kiddies, is that some of these games are conveniently located in places like Hobart, Munster, VALPO. Seriously? Does no one work at this place? How in the hell do they pay tuition? Anyway, a couple of weeks ago Nancy's mom approached me and offered to pick Alex up after school with Nancy on game days and get him to wherever he needs to be at 3:30. BRILLIANT. Granted, I still have to take time off just to get to the games, but not AS MUCH time. Yesterday was the first away game and Nancy's mom picked up Al and got him where he needed to be.
When I get to the game I talk to Nancy's mom, thank her for taking care of the boy and ask how things went. She says he did fine considering she had 4 girls at her house that she was taking to the game. Alex took it all in stride she said. Good man. Of course he's going to take it all in stride...he's in puppy love with your daughter.
So now we get to the part where I'm at the game. Nancy is supposed to be on the team, but is in an air cast right now from a tragic soccer play gone awry a couple of weeks ago. So now she's the "manager" and still attends the games. She comes bounding over to me at one point, "Hi Alex's mom!" and HUGS me. Okay, I have a very small personal space, so whatever. Starts chatting about this and that and whatever...small talk...watching me take pictures of Al, laughing at the pictures. She eventually wanders off and I had this flashback. I have done this. I have been the giggling 8th grade girl. I have made small talk with the parents of the boy I like.
I was frozen in time. It was bizarro world. I didn't quite know what to make of it. Of course, Julie reminded me that I was totally making out with boys at this age (Brian Fine in the 8th grade - what I didn't know then was that was my first rock star encounter...guess it stuck). Oh many a football game of making out in the park in my band sweater (remember the LMS blue?). I can remember "Hi Mrs. Fine!" and chatting it up. Sweet Jesus with a caffeine buzz...I am NOT ready for this.
At the end of the game she came to say goodbye - and - get this - complimented my coat. "I love your coat, it's really pretty." "Thanks, Old Navy" "Really?" "Yeah, I love them." "Alex must, too, because he wears all of their stuff."
Oh my.
Friday, September 29, 2006
Thursday, September 28, 2006
Bad things happen to good people...
I don't really want to be a downer, but something's been going on that most of you know about, some of you don't.
We lost someone in our community last Friday evening. Randy Rollins and his daughter Sara were killed in an automobile accident on Rt. 10 in Knox. Randy was a volunteer fireman, EMT, little league coach. He touched our lives through Scouting - his son is a scout in my pack. Randy always made sure the kids got to see the firetrucks and talked about fire prevention, came "camping" with us at the lock-in in the spring. What I knew of him, he was a great guy, great father, great humanitarian. What I'm finding out is that I didn't know the half of it.
I was sad all weekend, and now I'm sad again today because the calls are coming in with the funeral arrangements. Anything I have to say about any of this is going to sound cheesy and cliche. Life's too short. Live for today because you never know what can happen. Make sure you tell the people in your life how much they mean to you. Hug your kids. Call your parents and tell them you love them.... But it's all true. So do it. Now.
On a much lighter note - Alex has started a blog. He's very excited about it.
Eileen has a new column and it's HILARIOUS - there's also a picture! So go out and meet our friend in Oregon!
We lost someone in our community last Friday evening. Randy Rollins and his daughter Sara were killed in an automobile accident on Rt. 10 in Knox. Randy was a volunteer fireman, EMT, little league coach. He touched our lives through Scouting - his son is a scout in my pack. Randy always made sure the kids got to see the firetrucks and talked about fire prevention, came "camping" with us at the lock-in in the spring. What I knew of him, he was a great guy, great father, great humanitarian. What I'm finding out is that I didn't know the half of it.
I was sad all weekend, and now I'm sad again today because the calls are coming in with the funeral arrangements. Anything I have to say about any of this is going to sound cheesy and cliche. Life's too short. Live for today because you never know what can happen. Make sure you tell the people in your life how much they mean to you. Hug your kids. Call your parents and tell them you love them.... But it's all true. So do it. Now.
On a much lighter note - Alex has started a blog. He's very excited about it.
Eileen has a new column and it's HILARIOUS - there's also a picture! So go out and meet our friend in Oregon!
Wednesday, September 27, 2006
Out of the weeds...
And boy does it feel good.
Usually my job stress isn't that great...we roll along here. And the things that do happen, mostly I can contain, handle, move on. Sometimes it keeps me here for 8 hours on Sunday with a dead firewall, but it gets handled and I move on.
This past couple of weeks have been hell. We migrated a system and the things that were happening, the bad things, the stressful things...well, they were out of my control. I don't think of myself as a control freak (do you? Am I?) - but this was more than I can take. To rely on the honesty, competency and fortitude of others in my moment of need? Horrible. I want to know what's happening, must know what's happening so I can make decisions, plan for hours that may keep me here longer, plan if I need to seek new employment. I have to acknowledge the fears of others with my only response as "I'm monitoring this, I'm contacting the proper people, I'll let you know when I know something." And let me tell ya - that SUCKS. And not in a small way. It really SUCKS.
We do so much of our own stuff here that other geeks outsource - so if something breaks, usually I just have to put my nose to the grindstone and work.it.out. Google a lot. Find the answer, tackle the problem, sure to fix things so the problem never happens again. But this? This was completely out of my hands. 45 minutes and no call back on my support question? I'm sooooo calling your supervisor, or in this case everyone I've ever talked to in your organization. I want attention and I want it NOW. I want an answer and I want it NOW. I'm like a 5 year old who wants a gumball. At least placate me by taking the information and telling me you're working on it.
I know lots of people who feel this very same frustration with their IT people at the office. I like to think that I take in stuff and turn it around in a fairly quick manner. Sometimes I forget things. Sometimes people shouldn't call me when they know I'm forgetful. I don't know how many times I can tell people to email me. Yesterday I had an email problem and as soon as I was making headway? We lost power for two hours. And the Pepsi guy showed up to stock the pop machine. And the Xerox guy showed up to fix the copier I had called about. And the printer guy showed up to fix a printer. In the dark. Of course they did. And after everything was all said and done, someone called me to tell me about a problem. You're kidding me, right? I'm tying up 52 loose ends and you're CALLING me? 5 minutes later I finished up what I was working on and walked right by this person twice before I remembered that I was supposed to be helping her. TWICE. And she never said a word. And helping her was the REASON I left my office, people!
But today? Today I'm here with you. Things aren't perfect, but I don't think we've lost anything and I'm learning more about email headers than I ever wanted to know. How do you feel when you're out of control? Aside from persistent follow-up, how do you handle things that are out of your control? Tonight is family movie night...Netflix delivered yesterday - the kids are so excited about watching "Benchwarmers." What's for dinner?
Usually my job stress isn't that great...we roll along here. And the things that do happen, mostly I can contain, handle, move on. Sometimes it keeps me here for 8 hours on Sunday with a dead firewall, but it gets handled and I move on.
This past couple of weeks have been hell. We migrated a system and the things that were happening, the bad things, the stressful things...well, they were out of my control. I don't think of myself as a control freak (do you? Am I?) - but this was more than I can take. To rely on the honesty, competency and fortitude of others in my moment of need? Horrible. I want to know what's happening, must know what's happening so I can make decisions, plan for hours that may keep me here longer, plan if I need to seek new employment. I have to acknowledge the fears of others with my only response as "I'm monitoring this, I'm contacting the proper people, I'll let you know when I know something." And let me tell ya - that SUCKS. And not in a small way. It really SUCKS.
We do so much of our own stuff here that other geeks outsource - so if something breaks, usually I just have to put my nose to the grindstone and work.it.out. Google a lot. Find the answer, tackle the problem, sure to fix things so the problem never happens again. But this? This was completely out of my hands. 45 minutes and no call back on my support question? I'm sooooo calling your supervisor, or in this case everyone I've ever talked to in your organization. I want attention and I want it NOW. I want an answer and I want it NOW. I'm like a 5 year old who wants a gumball. At least placate me by taking the information and telling me you're working on it.
I know lots of people who feel this very same frustration with their IT people at the office. I like to think that I take in stuff and turn it around in a fairly quick manner. Sometimes I forget things. Sometimes people shouldn't call me when they know I'm forgetful. I don't know how many times I can tell people to email me. Yesterday I had an email problem and as soon as I was making headway? We lost power for two hours. And the Pepsi guy showed up to stock the pop machine. And the Xerox guy showed up to fix the copier I had called about. And the printer guy showed up to fix a printer. In the dark. Of course they did. And after everything was all said and done, someone called me to tell me about a problem. You're kidding me, right? I'm tying up 52 loose ends and you're CALLING me? 5 minutes later I finished up what I was working on and walked right by this person twice before I remembered that I was supposed to be helping her. TWICE. And she never said a word. And helping her was the REASON I left my office, people!
But today? Today I'm here with you. Things aren't perfect, but I don't think we've lost anything and I'm learning more about email headers than I ever wanted to know. How do you feel when you're out of control? Aside from persistent follow-up, how do you handle things that are out of your control? Tonight is family movie night...Netflix delivered yesterday - the kids are so excited about watching "Benchwarmers." What's for dinner?
Tuesday, September 26, 2006
Ode to sports....and television
Guest Blog provided by the Jimmer
*copied and pasted directly from an email, and in the interest of the blog comes with the following disclaimers:
Read at your own risk. Reproduction strictly prohibited. All rights reserved. Text used in these documents is made from 100% recycled electrons and magnetic particles. Batteries not included.Avoid contact with skin.Colors may fade. Contents may settle during shipment. Do not bend, fold, mutilate, or spindle.Subject to change without notice. The best safeguard is the use of a good laugh. This is not an offer to sell securities.Slightly enlarged to show detail. Slightly higher west of the Rockies.Your mileage may vary. This supersedes all previous notices.
For those that don’t know me, I am an avid sports fan. I will watch just about any sport. From the core four (Baseball, Football, Basketball, and Hockey) to Auto Racing, Golf and even the Great Outdoor Games. (I especially like the Lumberjack Competitions.) It is my reality show of choice. Today is a sad day. My White Sox are officially out of the playoffs. This coming after their World Series victory was quite the let down. They didn’t deserve it as they played without heart but it still hurt my heart. However, I do have the Chicago Bears to keep my spirits high. Coming off of a huge victory on Sunday against the Minnesota Vikings the Bears are 3-0 with a date against Seattle on Sunday Night Football on Channel 5. Oh, and let’s not for get about the Irish. That was one of the greatest comebacks I have EVA seen…WOW. You see, this is the beauty about sports. It’s real. It’s not the same B.S. you see on T.V. these days. Guys (and girls) are out their laying it all out on the line for my viewing pleasure. Every “episode” is different and usually brings a spectrum of emotions. From joy, to Anger, all the way to Heartache, most of which occur in the same game. But there is no joy in Mudville today as the Sox are out. But, as Cub fans know all to well, there’s always next year. A new season that brings a whole new set of expectations.
So, I ask, what does it for you? What are you watching on T.V. these days? Are you a reality show junkie, sports fanatic or do you watch the Military Channel? (I actually know somebody that does.) Are you a history buff? Do you like biker builder off’s, or do you watch the 24 hour news channels? (Speaking of Jack Bauer, “Get me the President,” said in a husky, raspy voice.) Some people may be game show nuts (I like the Price is Right.) and some may just like the average Sitcom. (2 and a Half Men is great.) Let’s talk kids because maybe, just maybe, I need to expand my own horizons and see if the grass truly is greener on the other side of the fence.
Good Night and God Bless!
Friday, September 22, 2006
C'mon, C'mon, do what you want...
Sooooo, this will be a long, disconnected rambling post about a few different things. Roll up your sleeves...dig in...keep up.
I bowled a 162 in my second game last night. I was ON FIRE baby! Two strikes in the 10th, I almost turkeyed (can I use that as a verb? No? Shit...too bad) It's gotta be the shoes. My other two games were p.i.t.i.f.u.l. Below my average. And my average isn't all that high, people. But my second game now raised my average overall. Oy. Pretty soon I won't be able to live up to my own standards. Huh. Not so unfamiliar a concept.
Anyway.
In other news I signed up for Netflix today. Anyone using it? I know Scott is and has been since Moby Dick was a minnow. But he's technologically savvy like that and I tend to leave my extreme geekness in the office. Though I guess Netflix isn't really all that "geek" a thing to do. Every day people are all over Netflix, light years before me. I added a handful of movies to my queue. It will be a very exciting day when that first envelope arrives. I wonder if it will feel like that commercial and when I get the email that they're sending me a movie I'll come home and the Napoleon Dynamite guy will be sitting on my sofa, only he's not Napoleon Dynamite...he's whatever his character's name is in Benchwarmers, because that's what's at the top of my queue.
In other news...when you first started dating your husband/wife/life partner/flesh-eating disease...what did you do? Where did you go? Date ideas anyone?
Did I mention I bowled a 162?
I am exhausted today. And it is, of course, an action packed weekend. Tiger Cub meeting at my house tonight, hair appt tomorrow (hooray!), skating party tomorrow afternoon, football game on Sunday. I'm planning on making stuffed cabbage one of these days...mmmmmmmm...cabbage.
What are you doing?
Come to Renssel-tucky for some action packed football! Game time 1:30pm.
I bowled a 162 in my second game last night. I was ON FIRE baby! Two strikes in the 10th, I almost turkeyed (can I use that as a verb? No? Shit...too bad) It's gotta be the shoes. My other two games were p.i.t.i.f.u.l. Below my average. And my average isn't all that high, people. But my second game now raised my average overall. Oy. Pretty soon I won't be able to live up to my own standards. Huh. Not so unfamiliar a concept.
Anyway.
In other news I signed up for Netflix today. Anyone using it? I know Scott is and has been since Moby Dick was a minnow. But he's technologically savvy like that and I tend to leave my extreme geekness in the office. Though I guess Netflix isn't really all that "geek" a thing to do. Every day people are all over Netflix, light years before me. I added a handful of movies to my queue. It will be a very exciting day when that first envelope arrives. I wonder if it will feel like that commercial and when I get the email that they're sending me a movie I'll come home and the Napoleon Dynamite guy will be sitting on my sofa, only he's not Napoleon Dynamite...he's whatever his character's name is in Benchwarmers, because that's what's at the top of my queue.
In other news...when you first started dating your husband/wife/life partner/flesh-eating disease...what did you do? Where did you go? Date ideas anyone?
Did I mention I bowled a 162?
I am exhausted today. And it is, of course, an action packed weekend. Tiger Cub meeting at my house tonight, hair appt tomorrow (hooray!), skating party tomorrow afternoon, football game on Sunday. I'm planning on making stuffed cabbage one of these days...mmmmmmmm...cabbage.
What are you doing?
Come to Renssel-tucky for some action packed football! Game time 1:30pm.
Thursday, September 21, 2006
Good idea at the time...
So, let's talk about ok, go for a minute, shall we? I forget...Julie - are you responsible for sending me ok, go on treadmills video? I guess they did it live on MTV for the VMA's. If you haven't seen it, run, don't walk to that link above and check it out. It's HILARIOUS and the song stuck, stuck, stuck in my head. So then I went to their website and saw their other videos and got myself totally sucked into this album. iTunes helped me out, because they had it for the bargain basement cost of $6.93. I love most of the songs on it. And I can't get them out of my head. And I think I might have a sort of high school crush on the singer (who is NOT the guy lip-syncing in the videos. that's the bass player, I've learned).
ANYWAY, I digress. I LOVE discovering new bands I like. What I love even more is rediscovering old stuff I like. Owen's music class is singing "We Go Together" from the Grease soundtrack. He asked me if I'd ever heard of it. Ummm, ever heard of it? I immediately started singing it and doing the little stupid dances from the movie all over the garage. His look was pained yet amused. I'm used to this response. He asked me what it was about. I had this vision of me running around the garage re-enacting the different plot points of the movie, starting with "summer lovin...had me a blast...tell me more tell me more" crying through "Hopelessly devoted..." while explaining about how Danny and Sandy really liked each other but weren't anything alike...and jumping on the car for a rousing rendition of "Grease Lightning" which I think, if memory serves, I might have done some dance to at a talent show in grade school. I would rip a handkerchief out of my bosom to start the race and dance like Cha Cha for the prom night scene. I don't know what I would do for beauty school drop out, but I could totally bust out the whole "You're the one that I want" intro. "Tell me about it, stud." It would be BRILLIANT. I know I used to bust into the "go grease lightning" hand motions when I was a kid for no reason. It was a sort of tic. Moving on...
I didn't do any of these things, but you know you're all totally with me. I told Owen I would bring home the soundtrack (yes, it's right here in my desk drawer)...and maybe we would rent the movie. He was AMAZED that a movie THAT OLD would still be at the video store.
For the love.
Alex is mortified because he hated that song when they had to sing it in music class, and now he's subjected to his brother singing it because Owen can't get it out of his head. And now, now Alex is going to suffer because I'll have the soundtrack in the house and car. At least I burned ok, go for Al - so he has some outlet.
ANYWAY, I digress. I LOVE discovering new bands I like. What I love even more is rediscovering old stuff I like. Owen's music class is singing "We Go Together" from the Grease soundtrack. He asked me if I'd ever heard of it. Ummm, ever heard of it? I immediately started singing it and doing the little stupid dances from the movie all over the garage. His look was pained yet amused. I'm used to this response. He asked me what it was about. I had this vision of me running around the garage re-enacting the different plot points of the movie, starting with "summer lovin...had me a blast...tell me more tell me more" crying through "Hopelessly devoted..." while explaining about how Danny and Sandy really liked each other but weren't anything alike...and jumping on the car for a rousing rendition of "Grease Lightning" which I think, if memory serves, I might have done some dance to at a talent show in grade school. I would rip a handkerchief out of my bosom to start the race and dance like Cha Cha for the prom night scene. I don't know what I would do for beauty school drop out, but I could totally bust out the whole "You're the one that I want" intro. "Tell me about it, stud." It would be BRILLIANT. I know I used to bust into the "go grease lightning" hand motions when I was a kid for no reason. It was a sort of tic. Moving on...
I didn't do any of these things, but you know you're all totally with me. I told Owen I would bring home the soundtrack (yes, it's right here in my desk drawer)...and maybe we would rent the movie. He was AMAZED that a movie THAT OLD would still be at the video store.
For the love.
Alex is mortified because he hated that song when they had to sing it in music class, and now he's subjected to his brother singing it because Owen can't get it out of his head. And now, now Alex is going to suffer because I'll have the soundtrack in the house and car. At least I burned ok, go for Al - so he has some outlet.
Wednesday, September 20, 2006
It's a blogger's life
Guest Blog provided by the Jimmer
*copied and pasted directly from an email, and in the interest of the blog comes with the following disclaimers:
Submissions posted reflect the views and opinions of the interested party only and do not necessarily represent the views of the blog.May be too intense for some viewers.No animals were harmed in the production of these documents.Avoid extreme temperatures and store in a cool dry place.Beware of dog.Breaking seal constitutes acceptance of agreement.Do not place near flammable or magnetic source.Falling rock.If condition persists, consult your physician.User assumes full liabilities.You must be present to win.
*copied and pasted directly from an email, and in the interest of the blog comes with the following disclaimers:
Submissions posted reflect the views and opinions of the interested party only and do not necessarily represent the views of the blog.May be too intense for some viewers.No animals were harmed in the production of these documents.Avoid extreme temperatures and store in a cool dry place.Beware of dog.Breaking seal constitutes acceptance of agreement.Do not place near flammable or magnetic source.Falling rock.If condition persists, consult your physician.User assumes full liabilities.You must be present to win.
Some of you may or may not know that Rebecca has been extremely busy at work these last few days. So, since I’ve commented on it in the past, she asked if I would “pinch blog” for her. At first, I was thrilled. However, over the last few hours I’ve realized that this isn’t as easy as it seems. Picking a topic and rambling about it is usually my thing. Ask anybody that knows me. But, when it came to my “15 minutes of fame” I began fumbling around. What should I write about? Does anybody care about that? After all, in my opinion the object of the blog is to spark conversation amongst this group. Isn’t it? Which means, the only measuring stick for a blog is the number of responses one gets, right? I don’t know, you tell me. Then again, maybe you don’t care about this. Anywho, I finally realized what a blow, or boost, a blog can be to the blogger’s self-esteem. Which brings me to my point; I think we should all take a moment out of our day to thank Rebecca. Since the inception of the blog, she has brought us entertaining quips that take us out of our daily lives and has given us a moment to relax and keep things in perspective. So, Hooray Rebecca!! Hooray Blogs!! Boo No Responses!!
P.S. I couldn’t submit this without making a couple of comments about sports. After all, I’m consumed by it.
1) White Sox – They are in trouble. 11 games left and they need to win at least 10…
2) Cubs – They have been done since the season started.
3) Bears – Looks like we actually have an offense this year…How long will that keep up though?
4) Black Hawks – Who cares? You can’t even watch the home games on TV. They did win their first preseason game last night though.
Where the hell is everyone?
One minute you're all emailing me because I'm not posting. Now I'm posting and none of you are anywhere to be found. No one. Nada. What's up?
Circa Ducky "Do I offend?"
Don't tell me you guys are actually working, too???
Worst days ever in the last week here at work - I rely on you for my comic relief...someone, please, throw me a flotation device of some kind.
Circa Ducky "Do I offend?"
Don't tell me you guys are actually working, too???
Worst days ever in the last week here at work - I rely on you for my comic relief...someone, please, throw me a flotation device of some kind.
Tuesday, September 19, 2006
Drum roll please...
So Alex had his first lesson with his new drum instructor last night. He's an older guy, kind of stutters when he talks...not on words...on whole sentences...so he repeats himself a lot. But he's supernice. After Alex's lesson he pulls me into a side room saying "We need to talk."
This sounded serious.
Basically he wanted to tell me that Alex is an extremely proficient drummer. Leap years ahead of his time for the amount of time he's spent in lessons. But he doesn't know what he's doing. Whoops. He said "I don't want to knock any other lessons, but Alex is doing these fantastic rolls, but when I ask him if can do a such-and-such roll, he'll say no. Then I'll demonstrate it and not only will he do that, but he'll do the one that's more difficult than that." So Alex doesn't know what anything is called, but he's doing all of these amazing percussion type things.
Doesn't this sound great?
Ummmm, yeah...I'M RAISING A DRUMMER. For the love. Seriously? A drummer? Keith Moon? Tommy Lee? And holy mother...Max Weinberg? Ringo Starr? Kenny Aranoff - the happiest drummer alive. And that one armed guy from Def Leppard. I mean I guess there's redemption in Phil Collins and Don Henley...sort of. And Neil (if you're asking Neil who, stop talking to me). And that AWESOME guy that plays with McCartney. I dated my fair share of drummers...they never.stop.drumming. On the steering wheel, on the dashboard...on their legs, on your shoulder when they have their arm around you. It's maddening, I tell you.
Wasn't I a good mother? Is this what karma has brought me? A son with a drum kit right over my head? Is this my payback for breaking up with Bill Trowbridge not once, not twice but 3 or 4 times and then being in the car when his girlfriend decided to steal it and wreck it? *shaking my fist at the sky* IS MY KARMA DEBT PAID???
Anyway...Alex loves this new drum instructor. Says he has a great sense of humor. And this guy thinks the world of Alex. I'm excited for him. I think he's going to learn a lot. And he definitely loves it. Ask my mom who was so tickled at the site of Alex drumming his fingers on the dining room table she almost fell over. She's dying to have a grandson in the "drumline." You can take the daughter out of the marching band, but you can't take the marching band fan out of the (grand)mother. Oy. I can just see him now, wearing a snare and some hat with a feather. Does Andrean have a marching band? No? Janet will be devastated.
ETA: Alex is hilarious btw - there's something to be said for raising a smart boy with a broad vocabulary. Last night on the ride home...Alex and Owen are goofing off in the backseat and I was telling them that if they didn't stop it they would have to rub my feet when we got home. Next thing I know Alex says "Moooooom, Owen is looking at me triumphantly." Are you KIDDING me? Who SAYS that? Looking at me triumphantly?? TRIUMPHANTLY??? Killing me.
This sounded serious.
Basically he wanted to tell me that Alex is an extremely proficient drummer. Leap years ahead of his time for the amount of time he's spent in lessons. But he doesn't know what he's doing. Whoops. He said "I don't want to knock any other lessons, but Alex is doing these fantastic rolls, but when I ask him if can do a such-and-such roll, he'll say no. Then I'll demonstrate it and not only will he do that, but he'll do the one that's more difficult than that." So Alex doesn't know what anything is called, but he's doing all of these amazing percussion type things.
Doesn't this sound great?
Ummmm, yeah...I'M RAISING A DRUMMER. For the love. Seriously? A drummer? Keith Moon? Tommy Lee? And holy mother...Max Weinberg? Ringo Starr? Kenny Aranoff - the happiest drummer alive. And that one armed guy from Def Leppard. I mean I guess there's redemption in Phil Collins and Don Henley...sort of. And Neil (if you're asking Neil who, stop talking to me). And that AWESOME guy that plays with McCartney. I dated my fair share of drummers...they never.stop.drumming. On the steering wheel, on the dashboard...on their legs, on your shoulder when they have their arm around you. It's maddening, I tell you.
Wasn't I a good mother? Is this what karma has brought me? A son with a drum kit right over my head? Is this my payback for breaking up with Bill Trowbridge not once, not twice but 3 or 4 times and then being in the car when his girlfriend decided to steal it and wreck it? *shaking my fist at the sky* IS MY KARMA DEBT PAID???
Anyway...Alex loves this new drum instructor. Says he has a great sense of humor. And this guy thinks the world of Alex. I'm excited for him. I think he's going to learn a lot. And he definitely loves it. Ask my mom who was so tickled at the site of Alex drumming his fingers on the dining room table she almost fell over. She's dying to have a grandson in the "drumline." You can take the daughter out of the marching band, but you can't take the marching band fan out of the (grand)mother. Oy. I can just see him now, wearing a snare and some hat with a feather. Does Andrean have a marching band? No? Janet will be devastated.
ETA: Alex is hilarious btw - there's something to be said for raising a smart boy with a broad vocabulary. Last night on the ride home...Alex and Owen are goofing off in the backseat and I was telling them that if they didn't stop it they would have to rub my feet when we got home. Next thing I know Alex says "Moooooom, Owen is looking at me triumphantly." Are you KIDDING me? Who SAYS that? Looking at me triumphantly?? TRIUMPHANTLY??? Killing me.
Monday, September 18, 2006
Momma bear claws are coming out...
Most of you know me. Some of you are just my BBFF - best blogging friends forever (thanks Eileen) - but most of you actually know me. I'm not a worrier - I'm a water-off-a-duck's-back kinda gal. I'm the same way with my children. I don't worry. Sometimes people are like "doesn't such-and-such scare you?" And maybe the problem is not only doesn't it scare me - it doesn't even occur to me that I should worry. Is that good? Bad? Somewhere in between?
Well, kids - the lamb was sent to slaughter this weekend. I'm officially worried. Owen got CREAMED on Sunday. Not just hit, like "rrrrrrrr, this is FOOTBALL." CREAMED with a capital EAMED. He didn't get up. Those Slicer boys just came over the line and pummeled my boy. And then he didn't get up. And he wasn't moving. And I've flashed back to every sports film I've ever seen where the hit gets replayed in slow motion and wham!wham!wham! and he's not moving. First I just stood up. Then I came down to the bottom of the bleachers. I contemplated running onto the field. But Coach Kevin was running faster than I've seen in years, so I felt good about that, at least. But I didn't know what was happening and it was scary. I'm surprised the Janet wasn't out there, to be quite honest. She kept her cool better than I did! And when it comes to her grandkids, no one can lose her cool like the Janet. :)
He got up after a few minutes and ran off the field - sat out a couple of plays and then was back in it. He took quite a few horrible hits yesterday - one where kids actually came at him from the front and the back and he kind of got scissored. Yowzers. Usually I wait for his reaction before I react - when he pops back up and runs to the huddle, I breathe just fine. But in those moments where he doesn't - I think my heart stops.
On the flip side, Alex looks to be quite the aggressive player these days in soccer. His first game is next Monday. I'll try to have some pics.
Well, kids - the lamb was sent to slaughter this weekend. I'm officially worried. Owen got CREAMED on Sunday. Not just hit, like "rrrrrrrr, this is FOOTBALL." CREAMED with a capital EAMED. He didn't get up. Those Slicer boys just came over the line and pummeled my boy. And then he didn't get up. And he wasn't moving. And I've flashed back to every sports film I've ever seen where the hit gets replayed in slow motion and wham!wham!wham! and he's not moving. First I just stood up. Then I came down to the bottom of the bleachers. I contemplated running onto the field. But Coach Kevin was running faster than I've seen in years, so I felt good about that, at least. But I didn't know what was happening and it was scary. I'm surprised the Janet wasn't out there, to be quite honest. She kept her cool better than I did! And when it comes to her grandkids, no one can lose her cool like the Janet. :)
He got up after a few minutes and ran off the field - sat out a couple of plays and then was back in it. He took quite a few horrible hits yesterday - one where kids actually came at him from the front and the back and he kind of got scissored. Yowzers. Usually I wait for his reaction before I react - when he pops back up and runs to the huddle, I breathe just fine. But in those moments where he doesn't - I think my heart stops.
On the flip side, Alex looks to be quite the aggressive player these days in soccer. His first game is next Monday. I'll try to have some pics.
Friday, September 15, 2006
The reason for my downtime...
So I downed my site the other day. A minor little panic attack on my part. I mean, I'm a geek, I know this is out there for the universe to read. And I know I'm not always nice about people, about things, about people doing things...but for the most part, I really feel like my readership on this blog is confined to the people I'm not bashing. That is an entirely different site that you guys know NOTHING about, because that's where I talk about you.
HA!
I'm just kidding.
Am I?
Sure I am! I love you guys...love you like I would marry you...group hug!
One person that has read this blog is my oldest son, Alex. He's 13 and God love him, he thinks I'm HILARIOUS. Poor sap. I've really scarred him for life with my senseless babble, but I'm proud to say I do still have the ability to crack that boy into a belly laugh. Remember him the day after Meg's wedding? He didn't want to go outside and play because he wanted to stay and listen to our war stories from the night before. He thinks we're all super fucking funny, actually, and I've always loved that about him. He gets it.
And not that he reads my blog everyday, in fact, I think he's only read it twice. But I think he would read it everyday...and therein lies our problem. The other day I posted my longwinded rambling about CMKM and my visit to her house. Not 5 minutes after the fact, a response posted. It was from "alex", and all it was was a smiley face.
Okay - something you all don't know is that most of the time if I email Al, his response is usually a one word answer and a smiley. This response on my blog TOTALLY freaked me out. Ask Julie, I was on the phone with her when I read it. He's at school, and yes, at some point he has a computer class. I would like to think that he didn't actually know the address of my blog by heart, but damn him he has my memory for such things. I would like to think that he wouldn't pull my blog up in school, but damn him he thinks I'm funny. I would like to think he wouldn't share that information with his classmates, but he does like to share his funny nonsense with the world...and that just might mean MY funny nonsense.
So I downed the site until I could confer with my client.
After school I asked him if he was on my blog today...no. And then he said "I'm not even sure I could get there if I wanted to. We didn't even have computers today." PHEW! Crisis avoided...blog back online. I reinforced the fact that hey, I might say things that other people don't appreciate/find funny/understand...so let's make sure we keep this blog to ourselves. He whole-heartedly agreed. LOVE that boy.
HA!
I'm just kidding.
Am I?
Sure I am! I love you guys...love you like I would marry you...group hug!
One person that has read this blog is my oldest son, Alex. He's 13 and God love him, he thinks I'm HILARIOUS. Poor sap. I've really scarred him for life with my senseless babble, but I'm proud to say I do still have the ability to crack that boy into a belly laugh. Remember him the day after Meg's wedding? He didn't want to go outside and play because he wanted to stay and listen to our war stories from the night before. He thinks we're all super fucking funny, actually, and I've always loved that about him. He gets it.
And not that he reads my blog everyday, in fact, I think he's only read it twice. But I think he would read it everyday...and therein lies our problem. The other day I posted my longwinded rambling about CMKM and my visit to her house. Not 5 minutes after the fact, a response posted. It was from "alex", and all it was was a smiley face.
Okay - something you all don't know is that most of the time if I email Al, his response is usually a one word answer and a smiley. This response on my blog TOTALLY freaked me out. Ask Julie, I was on the phone with her when I read it. He's at school, and yes, at some point he has a computer class. I would like to think that he didn't actually know the address of my blog by heart, but damn him he has my memory for such things. I would like to think that he wouldn't pull my blog up in school, but damn him he thinks I'm funny. I would like to think he wouldn't share that information with his classmates, but he does like to share his funny nonsense with the world...and that just might mean MY funny nonsense.
So I downed the site until I could confer with my client.
After school I asked him if he was on my blog today...no. And then he said "I'm not even sure I could get there if I wanted to. We didn't even have computers today." PHEW! Crisis avoided...blog back online. I reinforced the fact that hey, I might say things that other people don't appreciate/find funny/understand...so let's make sure we keep this blog to ourselves. He whole-heartedly agreed. LOVE that boy.
Wednesday, September 13, 2006
I need to be a better geek...
Because really - I needed cameras with me yesterday. Sweet Jesus wearing a peace sign - this house...straight out of the 1974 guide to home decorating. I needed my Maxwell Smart secret squirrel camera pen, or a broach recording video footage or something. You all simply would NOT believe it. She is holding open houses for her products in September, October and November. I am accepting applications for the volunteers to go with me to one of these events to validate what I am about to describe.
First - ding for me on the foyer being ceramic. What I didn't anticipate was the floral wallpaper. I should have seen it coming. The house is a 1960-something design with HUGE windows in the front. Yellow brick - and the doors are...wait for it...turquoise. The wallpaper in the foyer almost tries to eat you when you walk in, the flowers are that.big. When you walk in you can either go through another set of doors or go down some L shaped stairs to the right. These stairs have the old school wrough-iron handrail - you know what I'm talking about. When you get downstairs - there's like this sitting room. It's HUGE...with bookcases and knick-knacks everywhere. A whole dresser/table with beer steins on it. ??? Then she took me into another room.
Holy mother....I wasn't sure if I was trying skin care products or shooting porn. Red carpet. Red velvet bench seats. Pool table. Bar with this strange circa 1972 globe lighting system. And in the corner? A Christmas tree of lanterns with poinsettia wraparounds. Products were lined up on the bench seats and at the end? A yooooooge raggedy-ann doll. I mean almost life-size. But WAIT, If forgot my FAVORITE part. as you walk into this "rec" room...the wall was lined with one of those knee-high planters with ginormous fake rubber plants in it. An the planter itself was supposed to look like it was made from sawed off trees. Seriously. I want to draw you a picture. And there were products EVERYWHERE. On every surface. The bench seating, the pool table, the bar...lined up like this was a store and not a "rec" room.
When we start she tells me that she had her "assistant" set everything up today, and she didn't get out everything she needed, so she's dashing to this other back part of the basement to grab stuff every now and again. This woman had a whole room of products. I got the impression she's been doing this awhile. She has an ASSISTANT? Whodawa?
We started with skin care, and despite my best efforts - I really liked the stuff. I've got samples of the hydrator and the microderm abrasion skin scrub or whatever the shit is actually called - it was really great.
But "glamour"? Not-so-much. First - I suck at glamour...make-up...or anything that resembles it. So if you hand me a sampler of 3 eyeshadows, despite the color-by-numbers pics that come with it, I will screw it up. The eye color was fine, except for the sage eyeliner (I just can't do it) - but the lip color that came with the set? Seriously...CORAL. More like a coral/fuschia...and when she opens it declares "that color will look great on you." You're fucking kidding me, right? Have you seen my skin tone? Eye color? Hair color? Lady, I don't know diddly squat shit and I know that that color is hideous on ANYONE...especially ME. But I put it on, you know why? Because I could. And I wanted someone to see it. Alex was no help. I asked him if I looked weird and he said no. I said 'not even my lipstick looks weird??' and he just shook his head and said 'I'm not good at noticing that sort of stuff.'
But when Kevin got home from football I TOTALLY got the reaction I was looking for. "What in the HELL happened to YOU??" I just laughed. "What is up with that lipstick?? I can't even hardly talk to you - you have to take that off."
I left there purchasing concealer (it's got MAGIC in the bottle that took 5 years off me at LEAST) and mascara. I will probably buy the hydrator and the microderm stuff. My face feels good today and let's face it, I'm not getting any younger.
The conversation was strained at best - talk about the kids...she's a CP native, went to Trinity herself...she "would love the opportunity to come to my house and do a 'show' for my friends." If I thought you all wouldn't show up with pitchforks and torches to kill me I would totally do it.
Mostly I was proud of myself. I didn't buy too much. I didn't buy any skin care stuff until I used it for awhile. Be proud of me. But I am going to one of those open houses, with or without you. And I'm taking my camera.
First - ding for me on the foyer being ceramic. What I didn't anticipate was the floral wallpaper. I should have seen it coming. The house is a 1960-something design with HUGE windows in the front. Yellow brick - and the doors are...wait for it...turquoise. The wallpaper in the foyer almost tries to eat you when you walk in, the flowers are that.big. When you walk in you can either go through another set of doors or go down some L shaped stairs to the right. These stairs have the old school wrough-iron handrail - you know what I'm talking about. When you get downstairs - there's like this sitting room. It's HUGE...with bookcases and knick-knacks everywhere. A whole dresser/table with beer steins on it. ??? Then she took me into another room.
Holy mother....I wasn't sure if I was trying skin care products or shooting porn. Red carpet. Red velvet bench seats. Pool table. Bar with this strange circa 1972 globe lighting system. And in the corner? A Christmas tree of lanterns with poinsettia wraparounds. Products were lined up on the bench seats and at the end? A yooooooge raggedy-ann doll. I mean almost life-size. But WAIT, If forgot my FAVORITE part. as you walk into this "rec" room...the wall was lined with one of those knee-high planters with ginormous fake rubber plants in it. An the planter itself was supposed to look like it was made from sawed off trees. Seriously. I want to draw you a picture. And there were products EVERYWHERE. On every surface. The bench seating, the pool table, the bar...lined up like this was a store and not a "rec" room.
When we start she tells me that she had her "assistant" set everything up today, and she didn't get out everything she needed, so she's dashing to this other back part of the basement to grab stuff every now and again. This woman had a whole room of products. I got the impression she's been doing this awhile. She has an ASSISTANT? Whodawa?
We started with skin care, and despite my best efforts - I really liked the stuff. I've got samples of the hydrator and the microderm abrasion skin scrub or whatever the shit is actually called - it was really great.
But "glamour"? Not-so-much. First - I suck at glamour...make-up...or anything that resembles it. So if you hand me a sampler of 3 eyeshadows, despite the color-by-numbers pics that come with it, I will screw it up. The eye color was fine, except for the sage eyeliner (I just can't do it) - but the lip color that came with the set? Seriously...CORAL. More like a coral/fuschia...and when she opens it declares "that color will look great on you." You're fucking kidding me, right? Have you seen my skin tone? Eye color? Hair color? Lady, I don't know diddly squat shit and I know that that color is hideous on ANYONE...especially ME. But I put it on, you know why? Because I could. And I wanted someone to see it. Alex was no help. I asked him if I looked weird and he said no. I said 'not even my lipstick looks weird??' and he just shook his head and said 'I'm not good at noticing that sort of stuff.'
But when Kevin got home from football I TOTALLY got the reaction I was looking for. "What in the HELL happened to YOU??" I just laughed. "What is up with that lipstick?? I can't even hardly talk to you - you have to take that off."
I left there purchasing concealer (it's got MAGIC in the bottle that took 5 years off me at LEAST) and mascara. I will probably buy the hydrator and the microderm stuff. My face feels good today and let's face it, I'm not getting any younger.
The conversation was strained at best - talk about the kids...she's a CP native, went to Trinity herself...she "would love the opportunity to come to my house and do a 'show' for my friends." If I thought you all wouldn't show up with pitchforks and torches to kill me I would totally do it.
Mostly I was proud of myself. I didn't buy too much. I didn't buy any skin care stuff until I used it for awhile. Be proud of me. But I am going to one of those open houses, with or without you. And I'm taking my camera.
Tuesday, September 12, 2006
Sometimes the planets just align...
But not Pluto. Because it's not a planet. It's a star, or a moon or a dwarf or something, but it is NOT a planet. So my very excited mother DID NOT just send us nine pizzas. Because there are no pizzas. There is no spoon. Are you with me here people? My very excited mother just sent us nine. Nine what? Nine dwarves apparently...but there were only seven dwarves...and none of them were named Pluto either. So you can see where this continues to get confusing for me. Apparently Disney and NASA need to get together and sort this whole mess out.
The 8 remaining planets (the other 8 are okay, right??) aligned for me last night. Monday is a busy day in the Crum house. I had to leave work (late) and race to pick up Owen. Kev-head was on Alex duty. I got home, fix grilled cheese, took the roast out of the crock pot, dished out soup (vegetable soup, mmmmmm) and set the table. The soup was cool and dinner was ready to go when Alex and Kevin came home. Alex had just enough time to eat and change out of ewwwwww.sweaty soccer clothes before we were off to music lessons. He's supposed to have guitar from 7-730, wait 30 minutes and then drums from 8-830. Do the math here, people...that has me leaving my house at 6:40 and not seeing it again until almost 9. For music lessons. Oy. But Al LOVES it, so we march on. The beauty of last night? Drum lessons were canceled. No one bothered to tell the instructor that he had a new student. This might infuriate some people. I was so happy I almost kissed the receptionist. They were apologizing all over themselves. I told them I had laundry and a nice warm bed waiting for me - and as long as I get a credit for the missed lesson next month, we're golden. :)
So we got home at a much more reasonable hour, cleaned the kitchen, started some laundry...and then Kevin and I actually got to sit in the hot tub. YEAH baby! It's hot tub season. What a great way to wait for the socks & undies to finish in the wash. So I got everything done I needed to, including returning a couple of phone calls about scouting, and I got to bed at a fairly decent hour. After one glass of wine and a hot tub soak, sister was ready for some sleep. HA! Take that Benadryl!
Today is CMKM day - tomorrow should be a very fun blog day. If it's uneventful, don't worry...I'll make shit up.
ETA: The Onion is cracking me up, people! Go and have yourself a laugh. Now. Go already. Geez...you'd think I was asking you to wash my car or something. GO. Will you wash my car? No? Then go read the friggin' onion...
The 8 remaining planets (the other 8 are okay, right??) aligned for me last night. Monday is a busy day in the Crum house. I had to leave work (late) and race to pick up Owen. Kev-head was on Alex duty. I got home, fix grilled cheese, took the roast out of the crock pot, dished out soup (vegetable soup, mmmmmm) and set the table. The soup was cool and dinner was ready to go when Alex and Kevin came home. Alex had just enough time to eat and change out of ewwwwww.sweaty soccer clothes before we were off to music lessons. He's supposed to have guitar from 7-730, wait 30 minutes and then drums from 8-830. Do the math here, people...that has me leaving my house at 6:40 and not seeing it again until almost 9. For music lessons. Oy. But Al LOVES it, so we march on. The beauty of last night? Drum lessons were canceled. No one bothered to tell the instructor that he had a new student. This might infuriate some people. I was so happy I almost kissed the receptionist. They were apologizing all over themselves. I told them I had laundry and a nice warm bed waiting for me - and as long as I get a credit for the missed lesson next month, we're golden. :)
So we got home at a much more reasonable hour, cleaned the kitchen, started some laundry...and then Kevin and I actually got to sit in the hot tub. YEAH baby! It's hot tub season. What a great way to wait for the socks & undies to finish in the wash. So I got everything done I needed to, including returning a couple of phone calls about scouting, and I got to bed at a fairly decent hour. After one glass of wine and a hot tub soak, sister was ready for some sleep. HA! Take that Benadryl!
Today is CMKM day - tomorrow should be a very fun blog day. If it's uneventful, don't worry...I'll make shit up.
ETA: The Onion is cracking me up, people! Go and have yourself a laugh. Now. Go already. Geez...you'd think I was asking you to wash my car or something. GO. Will you wash my car? No? Then go read the friggin' onion...
Monday, September 11, 2006
Curiosity killed the cat...
Oh I admit it...I can get pretty curious. Okay. Nibby. Sometimes other people just intrigue me. And not in that "I want to get to know them" sort of way. I just want to know ABOUT them. I don't know why.
So that's where I am with crazy Mary Kay mom....I'm sooooooo going to her house tomorrow after work, loveys. THIS will be a hoot, I'm sure. I'm already worried about what to wear, because you know her house is the kind where you MUST take your shoes off before stepping off the welcome mat. I can't wear anything that leaves me with bare feet! Because I'll be sweating with nerves all the way over there and then I'll take off my shoes and I'll leave little footy sweat marks on her hardwood/ceramic/marble entranceway. You just KNOW she has one.
Tigger and I were talking about it. What do YOU think CMKM has - angels everywhere or country-kitchen look everywhere? Is there a goose with clothes on her front porch? Is there a curio cabinet lit up 24/7 with precious moments? tea cups? Collectible spoons hanging in the foyer? Does she have a seasonal flag out front? A painted mailbox? I should tell you, she's a VU grad, if that influences your decision making any. And her daughters ride horses. And she drives an Escalade. and no, it's not pink. But her only job, that I know of, is MK.
Cast your votes, now people! And to quote her..."I mainly want to show you the skin care products, and I'll send you home with some glamour items. Since you are more interested in skin care than cosmetics." So maybe I won't leave there looking like a clown?
So that's where I am with crazy Mary Kay mom....I'm sooooooo going to her house tomorrow after work, loveys. THIS will be a hoot, I'm sure. I'm already worried about what to wear, because you know her house is the kind where you MUST take your shoes off before stepping off the welcome mat. I can't wear anything that leaves me with bare feet! Because I'll be sweating with nerves all the way over there and then I'll take off my shoes and I'll leave little footy sweat marks on her hardwood/ceramic/marble entranceway. You just KNOW she has one.
Tigger and I were talking about it. What do YOU think CMKM has - angels everywhere or country-kitchen look everywhere? Is there a goose with clothes on her front porch? Is there a curio cabinet lit up 24/7 with precious moments? tea cups? Collectible spoons hanging in the foyer? Does she have a seasonal flag out front? A painted mailbox? I should tell you, she's a VU grad, if that influences your decision making any. And her daughters ride horses. And she drives an Escalade. and no, it's not pink. But her only job, that I know of, is MK.
Cast your votes, now people! And to quote her..."I mainly want to show you the skin care products, and I'll send you home with some glamour items. Since you are more interested in skin care than cosmetics." So maybe I won't leave there looking like a clown?
Friday, September 08, 2006
Flash update!
Remember creepy mom at graduation who looked at me and said something about "such a pretty girl"...
I think she gets botox injections, because her mouth doesn't move right when she talks. It's very strange.
ANYWAY - that's not what I'm here to tell you about. I'm here to tell you that she approached me yesterday. "Ummmm, yes, Rebecca, I've been meaning to talk to you..." Okay, I was a little scared. It was a little wicked witch of the west for me ... "come here my little pretty, and your little son, too." Her mouth doesn't really move, and she's wearing this dark pink lipstick and she knows my name??? Who knew? "I was wondering if you have any interest in Mary Kay products"
Oh for the love. Well THAT explains a lot. The embroidered denim. The flamboyant jewelry. The always made-up appearance. The staring. Okay, well maybe not the staring.
Am I that transparent? Do I actually, physically wear a sign that says "can't say no." UGH. And proceeds to tell me that she plans to encourage all of the 8th grade parents to maybe buy some of her products because she wants to donate a portion of the proceeds to the D.C. trip fund. Just.kill.me.now. And she wants me to come to her HOUSE so she can "treat me to a makeover." Sweet Jesus playing poker...please. Shoot me. So maybe she wasn't really saying how pretty I was earlier this year. Maybe there was a whole OTHER conversation going on in her head. OUTWARDLY she was saying "such a pretty girl" the END of that statement was in her head "if only she'd use some better skin care products and learn how to actually use make-up, she has potential" She was looking at the ring on my finger, and I thought she was doing the marriage check, when in fact, maybe she was sizing up my rock thinking "I bet I could get some money out of this one" and suckers me in with the whole "I'll donate part of the proceeds".
I told her I could use a hydrator. Only I didn't say that. I said something completely dorky like "I was using some stuff that's supposed to add more water to your skin, or something like that" and she nodded knowingly - ahhhhhh, you need a hydrator. And the tentacles came out and she jammed them into the side of my neck and WHAM! I was stuttering about moisturizers and dry spots and I think an oral fixation problem I had when I was little....I'm not sure...I kind of went into this zone of idiocy.
Anyway, we're totally friends now. Glad that's over. And I managed to find a band-aid for the holes in my neck where she sucked the life out of me. It's very Pulp Fiction.
I think she gets botox injections, because her mouth doesn't move right when she talks. It's very strange.
ANYWAY - that's not what I'm here to tell you about. I'm here to tell you that she approached me yesterday. "Ummmm, yes, Rebecca, I've been meaning to talk to you..." Okay, I was a little scared. It was a little wicked witch of the west for me ... "come here my little pretty, and your little son, too." Her mouth doesn't really move, and she's wearing this dark pink lipstick and she knows my name??? Who knew? "I was wondering if you have any interest in Mary Kay products"
Oh for the love. Well THAT explains a lot. The embroidered denim. The flamboyant jewelry. The always made-up appearance. The staring. Okay, well maybe not the staring.
Am I that transparent? Do I actually, physically wear a sign that says "can't say no." UGH. And proceeds to tell me that she plans to encourage all of the 8th grade parents to maybe buy some of her products because she wants to donate a portion of the proceeds to the D.C. trip fund. Just.kill.me.now. And she wants me to come to her HOUSE so she can "treat me to a makeover." Sweet Jesus playing poker...please. Shoot me. So maybe she wasn't really saying how pretty I was earlier this year. Maybe there was a whole OTHER conversation going on in her head. OUTWARDLY she was saying "such a pretty girl" the END of that statement was in her head "if only she'd use some better skin care products and learn how to actually use make-up, she has potential" She was looking at the ring on my finger, and I thought she was doing the marriage check, when in fact, maybe she was sizing up my rock thinking "I bet I could get some money out of this one" and suckers me in with the whole "I'll donate part of the proceeds".
I told her I could use a hydrator. Only I didn't say that. I said something completely dorky like "I was using some stuff that's supposed to add more water to your skin, or something like that" and she nodded knowingly - ahhhhhh, you need a hydrator. And the tentacles came out and she jammed them into the side of my neck and WHAM! I was stuttering about moisturizers and dry spots and I think an oral fixation problem I had when I was little....I'm not sure...I kind of went into this zone of idiocy.
Anyway, we're totally friends now. Glad that's over. And I managed to find a band-aid for the holes in my neck where she sucked the life out of me. It's very Pulp Fiction.
It's gotta be the shoes...
102, 115, 119...
I bowled two games better than my average of 104. This is a good thing. I think this brings my average up to 108. I am ON FIRE! Everyone loved my shoes. Well, at least that's what they told me. For all I know in their heads they were like "What was she THINKING with those multicolored things???" But to my face they were all "Those are great!" Whatever. I totally love them. And they were comfy. And I bowled well. For me that is...not compared to other people. But I know one person, one MALE bowler in fact that I totally beat last night.
Because he was sitting in jail.
Yeah, around the second frame, 4 uniformed, bullet proof vest wearing officers came in to the bowling alley, walked right up to the lane, TOOK THE BALL OUT OF THIS GUY'S HAND, cuffed him, read him his rights and walked his ass out the door. DRAMA! At the bowling alley! On my second night! This was exciting and scary. My next few frames were not so good. I insisted our whole team should be given treatment for post traumatic stress...it was the freakiest thing ever. But I pulled it out in the end. I overcame the stress, because I'm a winner! From that point forward, our team motto for the evening, no matter how bad the gutter ball or how upsetting the open frame, we would shout "At least we're not in jail." It caught on. Pretty soon even the men were howling "at least we're not in jail" after throwing a bad ball. It was brilliant.
Wanna know what's really awesome about my team? They laugh at my stupidity and GET IT and I get them. They like to quote old stupid movies, they get my old song references...they like to celebrate strikes old school with white girl versions of the running man and roger rabbit. They know what "spirit fingers" means. BRILLIANT.
I can't bowl next Thursday because of a conflict. Part of me is very sad, because we won last night and it's fun. But I gotta tell ya...these last two Friday mornings. Yowzers. Going to bed at midnight sucks.
Alex had a great practice yesterday. At the end they were practicing penalty shots and he had some great upper corner strikes. Hurrah! Kevin said that the coach is teaching Owen some more difficult plays at QB. Apparently his faith in our offensive line is waning, and he feels like his best shot is to try and get Owen to do some tricky stuff. This could be really good...or it could be really, really bad. We'll see next Sunday.
I bowled two games better than my average of 104. This is a good thing. I think this brings my average up to 108. I am ON FIRE! Everyone loved my shoes. Well, at least that's what they told me. For all I know in their heads they were like "What was she THINKING with those multicolored things???" But to my face they were all "Those are great!" Whatever. I totally love them. And they were comfy. And I bowled well. For me that is...not compared to other people. But I know one person, one MALE bowler in fact that I totally beat last night.
Because he was sitting in jail.
Yeah, around the second frame, 4 uniformed, bullet proof vest wearing officers came in to the bowling alley, walked right up to the lane, TOOK THE BALL OUT OF THIS GUY'S HAND, cuffed him, read him his rights and walked his ass out the door. DRAMA! At the bowling alley! On my second night! This was exciting and scary. My next few frames were not so good. I insisted our whole team should be given treatment for post traumatic stress...it was the freakiest thing ever. But I pulled it out in the end. I overcame the stress, because I'm a winner! From that point forward, our team motto for the evening, no matter how bad the gutter ball or how upsetting the open frame, we would shout "At least we're not in jail." It caught on. Pretty soon even the men were howling "at least we're not in jail" after throwing a bad ball. It was brilliant.
Wanna know what's really awesome about my team? They laugh at my stupidity and GET IT and I get them. They like to quote old stupid movies, they get my old song references...they like to celebrate strikes old school with white girl versions of the running man and roger rabbit. They know what "spirit fingers" means. BRILLIANT.
I can't bowl next Thursday because of a conflict. Part of me is very sad, because we won last night and it's fun. But I gotta tell ya...these last two Friday mornings. Yowzers. Going to bed at midnight sucks.
Alex had a great practice yesterday. At the end they were practicing penalty shots and he had some great upper corner strikes. Hurrah! Kevin said that the coach is teaching Owen some more difficult plays at QB. Apparently his faith in our offensive line is waning, and he feels like his best shot is to try and get Owen to do some tricky stuff. This could be really good...or it could be really, really bad. We'll see next Sunday.
Thursday, September 07, 2006
No sugar tonight in my coffee, no sugar tonight in my tea
No sugar to stand beside me
No sugar to run with me....
It's a Guess Who kind of day.
No time for a summer friend
No time for the love you send
Seasons change, and so did I
You need not wonder why
You need not wonder why
There's no time left for you
No time left for you
I love my kids, I do. You know I do. We all know I do. But right now? Right now I want to sell them. Sell them for some serious cash. Because they are costing me a FORTUNE. Seriously.
The little one?
Book rental? $150
New back pack $20
Football fees? $110
and then I have to feed the growing bastard!
And the big one?
Book rental/registration? $205
Band fees? $50
Soccer fees? $25
Soccer gear? $65
Percussion kit? $72 rental for 4 months.
Sweet Jesus on a roller coaster - I found out YESTERDAY that Alex started soccer TODAY. A full 24 hours notice loveys...so now Alex is at after school care. Then he'll go to soccer...and then he has to spend the evening at the bowling alley with dear old mom.
Speaking of which, I got some bowling kicks today. They make them now so they hardly even look like the "traditional" bowling shoe, but I don't really like those. I wanted something retro. Something that screams - I BOWL! And I found them. They are navy on one side, powder blue on the other with a red stripe down the tongue and on the heel. I LOVE these shoes. I'm wearing them now. Trying to break them in a little so they're not so stiff. And YES Jimmer, I'm wearing covers on them right now, too, so I don't damage the sole or get dirt on them. Geez. Whatddya think I am? A friggin' amateur? I bowl a 104 average right now - I'm practically a semi-amateur.
But I got off track. This is about the Guess Who...and my lack of time. Lack.of.time.
Tomorrow Alex has band and then soccer. Owen has to be picked up by 5:30, but Alex's practice doesn't end until 5:45. Then Owen has a sock hop at 7 and a slumber party after. Tomorrow Alex has a car wash fundraiser for the Washington, D.C. trip and Owen has football. Kevin and I have plans to divide and conquer with the kids and their conflicting schedules. Which leads me to wonder...will we ever eat dinner as a family again? Will we all ever actually be home at the same time? The answer is YES! But only on Wedesdays. So there is a new rule. Wednesday is don't bug the Crum's day. Because we'll be doing laundry, and opening mail, and maybe, just maybe actually sitting down to a meal together.
There is a light at the end of the tunnel. Football ends October 8th. Soccer ends technically October 17th. I can do this. I can make it through. Don't even talk to me about scouts. and music lessons. and bowling. and Kev-head whining that he's not putting enough miles on his HD.
And people wonder why I drink.
No sugar to run with me....
It's a Guess Who kind of day.
No time for a summer friend
No time for the love you send
Seasons change, and so did I
You need not wonder why
You need not wonder why
There's no time left for you
No time left for you
I love my kids, I do. You know I do. We all know I do. But right now? Right now I want to sell them. Sell them for some serious cash. Because they are costing me a FORTUNE. Seriously.
The little one?
Book rental? $150
New back pack $20
Football fees? $110
and then I have to feed the growing bastard!
And the big one?
Book rental/registration? $205
Band fees? $50
Soccer fees? $25
Soccer gear? $65
Percussion kit? $72 rental for 4 months.
Sweet Jesus on a roller coaster - I found out YESTERDAY that Alex started soccer TODAY. A full 24 hours notice loveys...so now Alex is at after school care. Then he'll go to soccer...and then he has to spend the evening at the bowling alley with dear old mom.
Speaking of which, I got some bowling kicks today. They make them now so they hardly even look like the "traditional" bowling shoe, but I don't really like those. I wanted something retro. Something that screams - I BOWL! And I found them. They are navy on one side, powder blue on the other with a red stripe down the tongue and on the heel. I LOVE these shoes. I'm wearing them now. Trying to break them in a little so they're not so stiff. And YES Jimmer, I'm wearing covers on them right now, too, so I don't damage the sole or get dirt on them. Geez. Whatddya think I am? A friggin' amateur? I bowl a 104 average right now - I'm practically a semi-amateur.
But I got off track. This is about the Guess Who...and my lack of time. Lack.of.time.
Tomorrow Alex has band and then soccer. Owen has to be picked up by 5:30, but Alex's practice doesn't end until 5:45. Then Owen has a sock hop at 7 and a slumber party after. Tomorrow Alex has a car wash fundraiser for the Washington, D.C. trip and Owen has football. Kevin and I have plans to divide and conquer with the kids and their conflicting schedules. Which leads me to wonder...will we ever eat dinner as a family again? Will we all ever actually be home at the same time? The answer is YES! But only on Wedesdays. So there is a new rule. Wednesday is don't bug the Crum's day. Because we'll be doing laundry, and opening mail, and maybe, just maybe actually sitting down to a meal together.
There is a light at the end of the tunnel. Football ends October 8th. Soccer ends technically October 17th. I can do this. I can make it through. Don't even talk to me about scouts. and music lessons. and bowling. and Kev-head whining that he's not putting enough miles on his HD.
And people wonder why I drink.
Tuesday, September 05, 2006
Whiny happy people holding haaaaaaands....
Oh, that's not how it goes? Sorry, my bad.
Hi my name is {insert name here}, and I'm a blog-a-holic...
I love you guys. You know I do. I love you like family. Well, not like my sister family, because I don't really like my sister. But like my family that I like. You get me here, right? I love you like I would marry you. But really. This has to stop. I have become like crack cocaine for some of you. You're like Bad Company, you can't get enough. And I do aim to please.
But as we all know - I do *ahem* have a life. And by life I mean job. j.o.b. Now I realize that most of my day is spent surfing the net and responding meanly to your email forwards, but sometimes...albeit a small percentage of the time...I actually have work to do. *gasp* And sometimes...just sometimes...that work is important. *double gasp* So important, in fact, that I don't even log in my required hours of Kathy time. Or email tomfoolery with Julie. Or, unfortunately blog time with you.
So please, please don't be offended. Don't take it personal. Don't run to your therapist with feelings of abandonment. That's what the comments section is for...so you can take care of each other in the lean times. Make each other laugh...and then you'll all feel better.
Now give mumsie a hug...
Hi my name is {insert name here}, and I'm a blog-a-holic...
I love you guys. You know I do. I love you like family. Well, not like my sister family, because I don't really like my sister. But like my family that I like. You get me here, right? I love you like I would marry you. But really. This has to stop. I have become like crack cocaine for some of you. You're like Bad Company, you can't get enough. And I do aim to please.
But as we all know - I do *ahem* have a life. And by life I mean job. j.o.b. Now I realize that most of my day is spent surfing the net and responding meanly to your email forwards, but sometimes...albeit a small percentage of the time...I actually have work to do. *gasp* And sometimes...just sometimes...that work is important. *double gasp* So important, in fact, that I don't even log in my required hours of Kathy time. Or email tomfoolery with Julie. Or, unfortunately blog time with you.
So please, please don't be offended. Don't take it personal. Don't run to your therapist with feelings of abandonment. That's what the comments section is for...so you can take care of each other in the lean times. Make each other laugh...and then you'll all feel better.
Now give mumsie a hug...
Friday, September 01, 2006
Bowling league - a subculture I can TOTALLY break into...
BRILLIANT. As you recall, I struggled with my new biker babe/bitch status at the Hooter's Bike Night. It wasn't pretty.
But now. Now I'm a bowling bitch. I am a member of the R&C team in the Thursday Night Powder Puff League. YEAH baby! My team is great. I already set the team motto and they welcomed it with open arms "Set the bar low." Yeah, you heard me...then it can only go up from there! I set my bar at 75. I bowled a 93, a 111 and a 108. See! See how well my strategy works! Not bad for my first night using a house ball and wearing someone else's shoes. I'll take it! My team is Ryan, Dawn, Misty and Chrissy. Several one-liners came out of the evening like:
"It's all about the beer" (in reference to Chrissy's game falling after she switched to diet pepsi, and then her game picking up when she got another beer)
"You got this. Do it just like we practiced!" (what I shouted to Misty when she was looking at a 7-10 split.)
"No premature cheering"
This last one is very important. It ruins your bowling karma. I saw several spares go awry because of premature cheering. Just because they look good going down doesn't mean you should shout about it. Not until the pins fall, baby.
I didn't get hollered at by anyone, so apparently my bowling etiquette was fine. Either that or they were taking it easy on the new girl. Ryan's mother-in-law was with us and warned us that we have to pay attention to who is up when. I guess some teams get really crunchy with you if you're not paying attention and that little arrow on the scoreboard flashes under your name too long. Because socializing is not more important than bowling. It's not.
I also need to buy a deck of naked boy cards if I want to fit in. Boys with inappropriately large and rather scary looking penises. There was a deck on every table.
Basically, they drink, they cuss, they talk too loud, they say inappropriate things, buy 50-50 tickets and love to eat. So I now have 4 new supergay best friends. Why oh why haven't I done this before??
HAPPY BIRTHDAY UNCLE DUG-O!!!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY CHAE!!!
But now. Now I'm a bowling bitch. I am a member of the R&C team in the Thursday Night Powder Puff League. YEAH baby! My team is great. I already set the team motto and they welcomed it with open arms "Set the bar low." Yeah, you heard me...then it can only go up from there! I set my bar at 75. I bowled a 93, a 111 and a 108. See! See how well my strategy works! Not bad for my first night using a house ball and wearing someone else's shoes. I'll take it! My team is Ryan, Dawn, Misty and Chrissy. Several one-liners came out of the evening like:
"It's all about the beer" (in reference to Chrissy's game falling after she switched to diet pepsi, and then her game picking up when she got another beer)
"You got this. Do it just like we practiced!" (what I shouted to Misty when she was looking at a 7-10 split.)
"No premature cheering"
This last one is very important. It ruins your bowling karma. I saw several spares go awry because of premature cheering. Just because they look good going down doesn't mean you should shout about it. Not until the pins fall, baby.
I didn't get hollered at by anyone, so apparently my bowling etiquette was fine. Either that or they were taking it easy on the new girl. Ryan's mother-in-law was with us and warned us that we have to pay attention to who is up when. I guess some teams get really crunchy with you if you're not paying attention and that little arrow on the scoreboard flashes under your name too long. Because socializing is not more important than bowling. It's not.
I also need to buy a deck of naked boy cards if I want to fit in. Boys with inappropriately large and rather scary looking penises. There was a deck on every table.
Basically, they drink, they cuss, they talk too loud, they say inappropriate things, buy 50-50 tickets and love to eat. So I now have 4 new supergay best friends. Why oh why haven't I done this before??
HAPPY BIRTHDAY UNCLE DUG-O!!!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY CHAE!!!
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