Memories....like the corners of my mind....

So the Alex dropping the f-bomb story never stops being funny, and has actually INCREASED our use over the past week or so. Because of course we're torturing Alex's life with this. He never did get called to the office...which is a good thing...but maybe it just hasn't happened yet.

Alex had an interview at DQ the other day - he got the job and that's his ticket into the power chord academy - AWESOME. I had a conversation with my ex about it and said "any words of wisdom for your son before the interview?" his response? tell him not to say fuck.

Awesome...Alex is getting it from all sides.

Julie was laughing about this today and reminded me that I have actually blogged about a) my kids not cussing at inopportune times and b) Alex's comments on my frequent use of the f-bomb.

Hilarious.
Your trip down memory lane:
a) Interesting question - it's all there, in the last paragraph. What a difference a year makes.

b) *#$%&*& - yeah...I knew I was responsible for this...even back then...

Kids...aren't they great? er...great!

And you need to say that both ways...aren't they great?? with loaded sarcasm and then again aren't they GREAT!!

Alex got in trouble at school. I haven't heard from the school on this issue - he told me. Completely forthcoming, because he knows that if I hear about stuff like this from say...the principal...blindsided, if you will, that I'm going to lose it. But now if the principal calls, I'll at least be prepared. Apparently he was jacking around in the parking lot after school with his band-mates. And for whatever reason was sitting on top of his friend's car. Why? No idea...don't really care. It was time for them to leave so they could meet me here and we could caravan down to my house for band rehearsal bonanza...so he leans over the side, knocks on the window to talk to them. The boys inside would put down the window a crack, but when Al would start to talk, they would put it back up. hahahahahahaha from the inside of the car. rmph from Alex. knock-knock-knock again...window down...alex starts to talk...window up. hahahahahaha. So this continues again, and now Alex is beating on the window shouting "Hey, guys...open the window! It's time to go!" (how he thought they were going to leave with him still ON TOP of the car is beyond me. a sane person would have gotten off the car but whatevs.) Still no open window. So now Alex pounds on the window, completely frustrated and shouts "OPEN THE FUCKING WINDOW!" Ummmmm, yeah, that's right - that's my teenager dropping the f-bomb in the parking lot of his private Catholic high school. Sweet. And of course, because it's my son, the athletic director just so happened to be in the parking lot and heard him. Awesome. He comes over, orders Alex off the car, asks him his name and what the difference between a window and an eff-ing window is. (A friend of mine found this question ridiculous, as it was very clear that a window is open and a fucking window is closed. HA!) Alex, I'm sure, was stammering and red-faced and speaking in octaves only dogs can hear...gave the guy his name and muttered some sort of inaudible response. The guy told them to basically get the heck out of dodge and told Alex he could expect to be called down to the office. Whoops. This happened on Friday, and I never did ask him if the office called him down for a counseling session on swearing...they haven't called me, so it can't be all bad.

My husband did not react as badly to this as I had thought. A part of him was relieved to see our good-natured teenage boy actually get into some kind of trouble, as my husband has his own troubled high school past...I think the asshole-puckering that ensued after the incident was enough to teach him his first lesson on swearing awareness.

On the flip side there's Owen. He wrote an essay a couple of months ago for school "What Being a Good Citizen Means to Me." He told me about it, but I didn't really think much of it - until yesterday. He apparently won the essay contest for our county. I didn't even realize this was a county-wide competition. Oh yes...and it went down to be evaluated for State recognition as well. Whodawa??? He won the county, but didn't place as high in the state. For his county winner status he gets to go to the Indiana State House and visit the governor, get an engraved plaque, a $500 savings bond, a certificate from the governor, other prizes from the Indiana State Trooper's Association including a scholarship to their "Respect the Law" camp over the summer..and then then troopers will come to his school's end of the year awards ceremony and make a presentation there, as well.... WOW. Owen is amazed. Julie emailed him to congratulate him on his honors and his response? "I didn't really think about it, I just wrote." He can't believe he won something just for writing an essay. I haven't even seen it...so no, I don't know what he said. He wrote it in school and the teacher submitted it. He's not even sure what he wrote. He remembers that he was studying the Scout law for his Arrow of Light and wrote some things about being loyal and helpful and friendly, but he really doesn't remember what he wrote or even how long the essay was. Oy vay. Not helpful. Hopefully we'll actually get to see a copy at some point during the process.

So it's been a parenting up and down for us in the past couple of days.

We got to enjoy our outdoor living room set this weekend...love, love, love it. Hopefully it stays warm through the weekend so we can sit out there some more. Must.buy.more.wine.

Last dance...last chance....

So let's dance, the last dance...toniiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight....

It's the last night of bowling, folks. LAST NIGHT. 33 weeks of trying to knock down those crazy pins...33 weeks of beers and disappointment. I'm always so happy when bowling season starts. And even happier when it ends....it's just such a long.damn.commitment...especially for me when my family is busy and involved. Maybe it will get easier when Alex drives. Maybe I should just throw in the towel. Kev-head and I have talked about finding a couples league - I don't think their season is as long. That would be nice...

That grass that started growing out back? It's really filling in...the other areas are still a week or two behind it, but if it looks anything like that - we should have a nice green yard again by summer.

BATTER UP!!! Baseball season has started my friends...yes it has....so far not tooooooo involved, but the game schedule hasn't come out yet. Opening day May 3rd...very excited. I do love watching Owen play baseball. Of course, the stress of watching him pitch is a stomach turning experience, but every year it gets better.

We took the boys to Wrigley the other night for the Cubs game...I do love Wrigley field...and Wrigleyville - I really do. I've only ever held one sports team close to my heart...the beloved Steelers (moment of silence, please....) and now I really think I am...a CUBS FAN. I hate the Cell, for starters...sorry, Jimmer.

The weekend found us busy as usual...Alex's band came over on Friday night, and Saturday we had our family portraits done by...JULIE BRAVEMAN PHOTOGRAPHY of course!! She sent me a little tidbit of what she shot and it's all great stuff! (like I expected anything different). It's so fun to see all of her new equipment that she's built up over the years...and all of the knowledge...so good, so good. Have you booked your family portrait yet? No???? Well get out to www.juliebraveman.com and a representative will contact you shortly!

And I have to say this out loud...I went shopping for new jeans. I'm a size 8 again. BRILLIANT. I haven't worn a size 8 since before Owen was born. After Alex and before Owen...that was a long time ago. It's fun to be back there again!!

How are you guys?

It's all about the grass, man...the grass...

I am so tired of having conversations about grass seed and weather I could choke someone. Seriously - I know that my husband really wanted to get the project done. The grass seed project that followed the excavation project that trashed my perfectly healthy, wonderful grassy back yard. Do you have any idea how difficult it was to look out my back door and see nothing but black dirt again? I had flashbacks to filthy kids coming in from playing outside and staining every article of clothing they owned. That dirt never comes out. Bleach it, wash it 52 times, it doesn't matter. Once that dirt gets in, it's not getting out.

This weekend he and the boys busted hump getting all of it planted...at least a couple of acres that had to be turned, leveled, seeded, raked and seeded some more. Oy. I'm tired just thinking about it.

And yesterday, a little teeny tiny morsel of a payoff - some of the grass is already coming up - the stuff they did around Easter and the week following. A light green haze over the muddy muddy exterior. I thought my hubby was going to need a moment, if you know what I mean.

I, on the other hand, am completely thrilled with the handrail, my new living room tables, and my outdoor sitting area. It's awesome. I found an outdoor rug to go with the set, so now I really do feel like I have an outdoor living room. We spent some nice time out there over the weekend sipping wine and waiting for the grass to grow. Grow, grass, GROW! The view from my awesome patio furniture will be much better when it's green instead of brown and mucky. Ew.

Next up, the front porch project. This one I could actually lose sleep over, I think. I just don't know where to start. I think I need a landscape company - anyone know of anyone that could come to my house in the boonies and make some sort of stone walkway to my front porch and stairs to match? Help?

Lovely, lovely bloggers...where is the dear Eileen? CCC is coming, m'dear ... we need to make PLANS!

I'm special (*special*) so special....

Did you all get the memo? The one that says how important I am? I have an ASSISTANT. Seriously? How cool is that??

Well, she's not really just MY assistant...she's going to be doing a lot of the stuff I really shouldn't be doing geek-wise (like ordering paper...seriously? no....I'm done tracking paper) and then she's also going to be doing general filing and office stuff for the people who actually ARE important around here. Interviewing this gal was hilarious, she had to think I was a big freak. I haven't interviewed anyone since my Burger King management days, and back then for that job all I cared about was if you showed up and could actually bag fries.

She comes to me with zip, zero, zilch computer experience, but for the types of things I need her for, that's not so troubling. Plus - she's a lefty AND she's a gamer AND her favorite band is "The Cure"... that's all I needed to know. (yes, that was an interview question, along with how many pairs of Chucks do you own - the answer was 2, and she added that they are vintage and beat to hell because she wears them so often) Does all of that mean anything to you? No? Well - it means she's smart, creative, self-learning, and old school...as in she's not a myspace junkie who's going to be texting her friends every minute of the day. Cure fans don't do that. Chuck fans don't do that.

It's so liberating having someone who is going to field supply requests and copier jams and printer malfunctions and hopefully, eventually, some even geekier stuff...HOORAY!

And to add even more good stuff? She's easy to talk to, has picked up on everything very quickly, asks for more to do and doesn't care that I talk like a truckdriver...seriously, that's important. I don't want to be dropping f-bombs in front of the religious chick, or the chick that takes offense - I can hold my tongue. If I have to. But there better be a good fucking reason.

So I'm a very happy geek today....
and I'm trying a new meatloaf recipe tonight, too. It's already in the frig just waiting for Owen to get off the bus and put it in the oven. I've never felt more like the Janet than I did last night when I was leaving a note for Owen with instructions on what to do with the meatloaf when he gets home. I mixed in ranch dressing and ketchup, those fried onions that you put in green bean casserole in place of grated onion and the dry stuffing mix in place of bread crumbs. Mmmmmmm....I'll let you know how it goes....
Happy Wednesday!