Seriously...aaaaaaaagggggggggghhhhhhhh. I cannot win. CANNOT win. Hang with me here people and give me a paper bag to breathe in...it's going to be a doozy.
We have 10 baseball games in the next 21 days. Yeah, you heard me...10 games. 21 days. Professional ball players who get paid millions don't keep this kind of schedule. Okay, so maybe they do...but these are KIDS for crying out loud. And we parents have JOBS, and lives and OTHER CHILDREN.
In addition to that, I've got potentially 3 soccer games in 3 different cities over the next two weekends.
AND I've got Alex's 8th grade graduation one of these upcoming nights.
In addition to THAT I'm throwing two different parties - one for Owen (not at my house), one for Alex (at my house) over the course of the next two weekends.
I planned Alex's party before I realized that his soccer team was supposed to go to the Chicago Fire game that day. And now? His team has been selected to scrimmage on the field before the game. And he can't go. Which he's actually fine with...but it still pisses me off. And frustrates me. And then his music teacher calls last night and asks if he can play percussion in church this Sunday. Ummmmmm, what? And then his dad emails and asks if he can take him for the night after the game on Saturday. Ummmmmm, and miss Owen's party?
Seriously - really - light me on fire.
Thursday, May 31, 2007
Tuesday, May 29, 2007
It was a long weekend - why don't I feel rested??
Oh yeah, because I worked my ass off, that's why.
Thursday night with the girls was a hoot. Lots of good food, good wine, good laughs. I was so glad I demanded Linda's presence - and even more glad that Cinde force Ang out of her anger-ridden stupor and made her come, too.
I decided to take the day on Friday despite my ever increasing workload. My brain just can't take it. I can't think this hard and be asked this many questions. I'm on overload. I had to get away. It was good - Friday - I got some laundry done, got some work done. The neighbor, the pony neighbor - yeah, we had to call 911 for him. He bashed his head with post-driver. He slammed the post driver onto the post, the post driver ricocheted off the post and hit him in the head. 2-inch gash and head wounds tend to bleed a lot. His wife was at work, so it was just him and the kids and the pony. He ended up with 9 or 10 stitches and a clean CT scan.
I planted a vegetable garden, kids. We'll see how it goes. I had Kevin plow under an area alongside the driveway. It's small, it's close, it should work out fine. I planted a lot more vegetables that I originally planned, but I think it's okay. I'll keep you posted. Tomatoes, zucchini, yellow squash, peppers, cucumbers, green beans and peas. And then I put in some annuals around it and some sunflowers. I love sunflowers!
Yesterday a spontaneous cookout erupted at my new neighbor's house - Miss Mary - she runs the preschool where Owen used to go. Her husband had lots of great imported beers, we spent a couple hours over there chatting and eating. Booooo rain - hooray beer!
ETA: Julie brought Hayden down and caused the whole Fandango on Thursday night - she was a total catalyst for fun and all my Roselawn friends love her. Because she's fabulous. Absolutely fabulous.
Thursday night with the girls was a hoot. Lots of good food, good wine, good laughs. I was so glad I demanded Linda's presence - and even more glad that Cinde force Ang out of her anger-ridden stupor and made her come, too.
I decided to take the day on Friday despite my ever increasing workload. My brain just can't take it. I can't think this hard and be asked this many questions. I'm on overload. I had to get away. It was good - Friday - I got some laundry done, got some work done. The neighbor, the pony neighbor - yeah, we had to call 911 for him. He bashed his head with post-driver. He slammed the post driver onto the post, the post driver ricocheted off the post and hit him in the head. 2-inch gash and head wounds tend to bleed a lot. His wife was at work, so it was just him and the kids and the pony. He ended up with 9 or 10 stitches and a clean CT scan.
I planted a vegetable garden, kids. We'll see how it goes. I had Kevin plow under an area alongside the driveway. It's small, it's close, it should work out fine. I planted a lot more vegetables that I originally planned, but I think it's okay. I'll keep you posted. Tomatoes, zucchini, yellow squash, peppers, cucumbers, green beans and peas. And then I put in some annuals around it and some sunflowers. I love sunflowers!
Yesterday a spontaneous cookout erupted at my new neighbor's house - Miss Mary - she runs the preschool where Owen used to go. Her husband had lots of great imported beers, we spent a couple hours over there chatting and eating. Booooo rain - hooray beer!
ETA: Julie brought Hayden down and caused the whole Fandango on Thursday night - she was a total catalyst for fun and all my Roselawn friends love her. Because she's fabulous. Absolutely fabulous.
Thursday, May 24, 2007
The pony story...
ETA: WHERE IN THE HELL IS EVERYONE??
For those of you who have been here awhile, you might recall the chicken story, the duck story, and the rooster story...
Now, brought to you straight from Rosentucky and my hillbilly neighbors we have THE PONY STORY. Because clearly when you can't control small animals with wings, you should get a really large animal that can break down your fence. Can you feel the foreshadowing?? Can you?
The reason for the new acquisition? The little brat next door who drops f-bombs like it was his job - it's his birthday. Well, whoop-de-friggin' do. These people seriously, SERIOUSLY do not have a pot to piss in. They can barely take care of themselves, let alone a large four-legged animal. No, they don't have a barn for it. They don't even have a lean-to. They fenced in an area of the back 40 for this pony. And best of all - they didn't even fence the area towards the back, where the pony could seek shade. This poor beast is stuck in the sun all day, in an area smaller than I had for my goats.
We find this out on Monday. On Tuesday the pony arrived. It's cute enough, and was kind of cracking us up on Tuesday night because he kept scratching his ass on the fence. Itchiest assed pony I've ever seen. He was poking his head through the fence eating our grass, which is fine, but I saw major problems with this large animal and the weak wooden fencing.
This morning Alex went out to feed the animals. I was in my normal morning frenzy and didn't notice him not coming back. When we got ready to leave I saw my neighbor walking down the road with the pony on a rope.
Ummmmm, "Alex what happened?"
A: "Yeah, the pony got loose."
Me: "He did? How long as he been out?"
A: "I don't know. I tried to help him get it back."
M: "You did?? When??"
A: "This morning? You didn't notice I was gone for like 20 minutes?"
M: "No..."
A: "When I was waking up Owen this morning I saw the pony out the window. It was standing in our yard. I went outside to go to the neighbors to tell them, and it ran into the woods. By the time I got the neighbors it was all the way over at the other neighbors house. We tried to catch it, but it kept running away."
Alex finally gave up pursuit and came home, and eventually Mark caught the darn thing. I have no idea where it escaped through the shoddy fencing. I can't wait to get home and see what they've done to repair it. This should be the beginning of many humorous and/or frustrating anecdotes. I have not let the dogs out since the arrival of the pony...I have yet to see how they'll react to the new neighbor.
Oh, and for more fun? Their dog is in heat. So they told us to be careful. Ummmmmm...since when did your dog become my responsibility? We only have one reproductive animal, and if last year's breeding snafu is any indication, he's gay...so I don't think we have anything to worry about. Keep your damn dog locked up and we won't have a problem.
Luckily tonight Julie and Hayden are coming down to watch Owen's baseball game and I've launched an impromptu deck party for the girls. Wine and snacks and girlfriends...does it get any better? I don't think so. Happy Thursday.
For those of you who have been here awhile, you might recall the chicken story, the duck story, and the rooster story...
Now, brought to you straight from Rosentucky and my hillbilly neighbors we have THE PONY STORY. Because clearly when you can't control small animals with wings, you should get a really large animal that can break down your fence. Can you feel the foreshadowing?? Can you?
The reason for the new acquisition? The little brat next door who drops f-bombs like it was his job - it's his birthday. Well, whoop-de-friggin' do. These people seriously, SERIOUSLY do not have a pot to piss in. They can barely take care of themselves, let alone a large four-legged animal. No, they don't have a barn for it. They don't even have a lean-to. They fenced in an area of the back 40 for this pony. And best of all - they didn't even fence the area towards the back, where the pony could seek shade. This poor beast is stuck in the sun all day, in an area smaller than I had for my goats.
We find this out on Monday. On Tuesday the pony arrived. It's cute enough, and was kind of cracking us up on Tuesday night because he kept scratching his ass on the fence. Itchiest assed pony I've ever seen. He was poking his head through the fence eating our grass, which is fine, but I saw major problems with this large animal and the weak wooden fencing.
This morning Alex went out to feed the animals. I was in my normal morning frenzy and didn't notice him not coming back. When we got ready to leave I saw my neighbor walking down the road with the pony on a rope.
Ummmmm, "Alex what happened?"
A: "Yeah, the pony got loose."
Me: "He did? How long as he been out?"
A: "I don't know. I tried to help him get it back."
M: "You did?? When??"
A: "This morning? You didn't notice I was gone for like 20 minutes?"
M: "No..."
A: "When I was waking up Owen this morning I saw the pony out the window. It was standing in our yard. I went outside to go to the neighbors to tell them, and it ran into the woods. By the time I got the neighbors it was all the way over at the other neighbors house. We tried to catch it, but it kept running away."
Alex finally gave up pursuit and came home, and eventually Mark caught the darn thing. I have no idea where it escaped through the shoddy fencing. I can't wait to get home and see what they've done to repair it. This should be the beginning of many humorous and/or frustrating anecdotes. I have not let the dogs out since the arrival of the pony...I have yet to see how they'll react to the new neighbor.
Oh, and for more fun? Their dog is in heat. So they told us to be careful. Ummmmmm...since when did your dog become my responsibility? We only have one reproductive animal, and if last year's breeding snafu is any indication, he's gay...so I don't think we have anything to worry about. Keep your damn dog locked up and we won't have a problem.
Luckily tonight Julie and Hayden are coming down to watch Owen's baseball game and I've launched an impromptu deck party for the girls. Wine and snacks and girlfriends...does it get any better? I don't think so. Happy Thursday.
Wednesday, May 23, 2007
My baby is 10!!
Double digits...my baby has hit double friggin' digits. Holy mother...
Anyone have any idea how old this makes ME feel?? I can remember like it was yesterday - calling Julie at 5am to tell her I was in labor, only to have her freaking out during the conversation because I wasn't talking.
"Bek? BEK??? What's happening? What are you DOING???"
"Breathing."
"Breathing? Why aren't you talking?"
"Breathing."
"Breathing? OHHHHHHHHH. Breathing! Like for contractions! Breathing! OH MY GOD!!"
Hilarious...
And then, of course...most of you know - Julie named the boy. Wasn't me. I had no boy's name. None. Zip, zero, zilch, nada...no name boy. I had a girl name that I didn't really like, and I didn't know what I was having. Have I told all of you this before? Anyway, Julie came in to the hospital later that day proclaiming "Hey, I thought of a boy name on the train...Owen." I didn't even really acknowledge it. Of course, by the time she got there I think they had me on pit and stadol...I couldn't even get my glasses back on my face after I took them off, let alone give any real thought to a name. It wasn't until hours and hours later, when I delivered a beautiful baby boy that the doctor said "What's his name?" and I replied "Owen." Julie squeed "Bek, you don't have to name him that, really, it was just a thought."
Either I really loved the name or I was too tired to think of something else - either way, it stuck. And now we have a 10 year old Owen to show for it.
Happiest of birthdays to my boy - all he wanted was Under Armour - so that's all he's getting. Well that and dinner at BW's...and we're going to see Spiderman 3...and we're having a party at the jumpyjump place. But that's it. Seriously. Spoiled rotten kid. :)
Anyone have any idea how old this makes ME feel?? I can remember like it was yesterday - calling Julie at 5am to tell her I was in labor, only to have her freaking out during the conversation because I wasn't talking.
"Bek? BEK??? What's happening? What are you DOING???"
"Breathing."
"Breathing? Why aren't you talking?"
"Breathing."
"Breathing? OHHHHHHHHH. Breathing! Like for contractions! Breathing! OH MY GOD!!"
Hilarious...
And then, of course...most of you know - Julie named the boy. Wasn't me. I had no boy's name. None. Zip, zero, zilch, nada...no name boy. I had a girl name that I didn't really like, and I didn't know what I was having. Have I told all of you this before? Anyway, Julie came in to the hospital later that day proclaiming "Hey, I thought of a boy name on the train...Owen." I didn't even really acknowledge it. Of course, by the time she got there I think they had me on pit and stadol...I couldn't even get my glasses back on my face after I took them off, let alone give any real thought to a name. It wasn't until hours and hours later, when I delivered a beautiful baby boy that the doctor said "What's his name?" and I replied "Owen." Julie squeed "Bek, you don't have to name him that, really, it was just a thought."
Either I really loved the name or I was too tired to think of something else - either way, it stuck. And now we have a 10 year old Owen to show for it.
Happiest of birthdays to my boy - all he wanted was Under Armour - so that's all he's getting. Well that and dinner at BW's...and we're going to see Spiderman 3...and we're having a party at the jumpyjump place. But that's it. Seriously. Spoiled rotten kid. :)
Tuesday, May 22, 2007
New look - the world is going green, so why not me?
Hi all - like the new blog? I'm trying out some new things, but mostly I upgraded my blog so I could post the Relay for Life emblem and then a link to Julie's donation page. An email from Julie:
Everyone knows someone who has had his or her life disrupted, and sometimes ended, by the disease cancer. This summer on July 13th & 14th, my community will host the Duneland Relay for Life. I’ve joined team Anton Insurance in an effort to raise funds that will go towards the fight against cancer.
Please support me with your monetary donation in this crusade for a cure. Joining together, we will win this fight.
Our event starts on Friday the 13th! It’s also my 36th birthday. In honor of those who have faced cancer and well, my birthday, please make a donation with the number 13 in it. For example…. $13.00, $13.13, $25.13, $130.13, $250.13… I think you get the idea.
It’ll be fun!
Remember, all donations add up, so even small amounts are important contributions.
Thanks in advance.
~Julie
There's a link on the right if you wish to contribute. Love you Julie! Love you Carol!
Apparently this is my week for good causes. Donated to Relay for Life, dropped bags off at the Goodwill store and Saturday night found me at a benefit for Hayden's preschool. The Sunset Soiree was a swanky little snappy casual (Eileen that was for you) event at the Dune Acres clubhouse this weekend. Julie, Chris, Jimmer, Nicole and I were in attendance. Drinks, heavy hors d'oeuvres, silent auction, live auction, music. Hooo-wah! (read like Al Pacino in Scent of a Woman) Let me just say that I love any preschool function that involves booze. Is that so wrong? We had a really great time...I got a great deal on the silent auction I won. For $90 I got a cute duffel bag, hand stuff, foot stuff, a t-shirt and a pedicure from a shee-shee-foo-foo salon. I looked on their website yesterday - the pedi alone is $65, so I totally scored. Oh wait...this is sounding less about my charitable contribution and more about what's awesome for me. Oh screw it. It was an awesome deal! Anyone have any idea what a "Caribbean Therapy Pedicure" might be?? Sounds good, I guess - are they going to serve me a drink in a coconut? Heaven knows I could use some Caribbean Therapy. Of course, the last time I got therapy in the caribbean was the massage I got on my honeymoon and let's just say they're very thorough. Shockingly thorough actually. And way more thorough on me than my hubby who was on the table next to me.
Owen's birthday is tomorrow - so if you have his email addy, send him a little note if you have a second. He checks his email every morning and would be delighted to get birthday emails from my blogging family.
Alex had a good confirmation - he didn't read too speedy like some. His soccer team finished in second place going into the tournament.
Everyone knows someone who has had his or her life disrupted, and sometimes ended, by the disease cancer. This summer on July 13th & 14th, my community will host the Duneland Relay for Life. I’ve joined team Anton Insurance in an effort to raise funds that will go towards the fight against cancer.
Please support me with your monetary donation in this crusade for a cure. Joining together, we will win this fight.
Our event starts on Friday the 13th! It’s also my 36th birthday. In honor of those who have faced cancer and well, my birthday, please make a donation with the number 13 in it. For example…. $13.00, $13.13, $25.13, $130.13, $250.13… I think you get the idea.
It’ll be fun!
Remember, all donations add up, so even small amounts are important contributions.
Thanks in advance.
~Julie
There's a link on the right if you wish to contribute. Love you Julie! Love you Carol!
Apparently this is my week for good causes. Donated to Relay for Life, dropped bags off at the Goodwill store and Saturday night found me at a benefit for Hayden's preschool. The Sunset Soiree was a swanky little snappy casual (Eileen that was for you) event at the Dune Acres clubhouse this weekend. Julie, Chris, Jimmer, Nicole and I were in attendance. Drinks, heavy hors d'oeuvres, silent auction, live auction, music. Hooo-wah! (read like Al Pacino in Scent of a Woman) Let me just say that I love any preschool function that involves booze. Is that so wrong? We had a really great time...I got a great deal on the silent auction I won. For $90 I got a cute duffel bag, hand stuff, foot stuff, a t-shirt and a pedicure from a shee-shee-foo-foo salon. I looked on their website yesterday - the pedi alone is $65, so I totally scored. Oh wait...this is sounding less about my charitable contribution and more about what's awesome for me. Oh screw it. It was an awesome deal! Anyone have any idea what a "Caribbean Therapy Pedicure" might be?? Sounds good, I guess - are they going to serve me a drink in a coconut? Heaven knows I could use some Caribbean Therapy. Of course, the last time I got therapy in the caribbean was the massage I got on my honeymoon and let's just say they're very thorough. Shockingly thorough actually. And way more thorough on me than my hubby who was on the table next to me.
Owen's birthday is tomorrow - so if you have his email addy, send him a little note if you have a second. He checks his email every morning and would be delighted to get birthday emails from my blogging family.
Alex had a good confirmation - he didn't read too speedy like some. His soccer team finished in second place going into the tournament.
Friday, May 18, 2007
Ode to baseball...guest blog by the Jimmer...
Ahhhhh Baseball. I luuuuuv Baseball. I’m especially looking forward to this weekend. Why? I’m glad you asked. It’s the Windy City Classic! The
HOORAY Baseball
HOORAY BEER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
P.S. I hope I haven’t bored the hell out of you.
P.S.S. Sox win 2 out of 3 at Wrigley…
Thursday, May 17, 2007
Sorry guys - bad blogger, bad, bad blogger...
Since the young Kathy abandoned me, I'm just beside myself and cannot seem to blog.
No, that's not true - because the young Kathy abandoned me I'm so damn busy I can't seem to focus long enough to blog, let alone be mildly entertaining while doing so. Didn't I go through this at the same time last year? And I didn't even have Kathy to blame then. Phhhhht.
How are all of you? Where are all of you? Who has fun vacation plans as the school year ends? Who wants to get together for cocktails as soon as humanly possible? (Tigger, put your hand down - you must finish this pregnancy first.)
It's a good thing gas prices are reasonable since I have to RUN MY ASS OFF in the next couple of days...ugh.
Notable notes - Jerry Falwell is dead. In a very un-Christianlike attitude, my knee-jerk response was "good." Now that's not very nice. But he wasn't very nice, either, in my opinion. Anyone who can wave the Bible while simultaneously spreading hate (ummmm, can we say KKK? Nazi party? anyone? anyone?) and blaming something like 9/11 on the gay community - well, let's just say I hope he's finding out how wrong he was. May he burn in hell in a Tinky Winky costume while the devil beats him with a purse.
Now I have to purge that stuff because that's bound to have a negative affect on my karma.
No, that's not true - because the young Kathy abandoned me I'm so damn busy I can't seem to focus long enough to blog, let alone be mildly entertaining while doing so. Didn't I go through this at the same time last year? And I didn't even have Kathy to blame then. Phhhhht.
How are all of you? Where are all of you? Who has fun vacation plans as the school year ends? Who wants to get together for cocktails as soon as humanly possible? (Tigger, put your hand down - you must finish this pregnancy first.)
It's a good thing gas prices are reasonable since I have to RUN MY ASS OFF in the next couple of days...ugh.
Notable notes - Jerry Falwell is dead. In a very un-Christianlike attitude, my knee-jerk response was "good." Now that's not very nice. But he wasn't very nice, either, in my opinion. Anyone who can wave the Bible while simultaneously spreading hate (ummmm, can we say KKK? Nazi party? anyone? anyone?) and blaming something like 9/11 on the gay community - well, let's just say I hope he's finding out how wrong he was. May he burn in hell in a Tinky Winky costume while the devil beats him with a purse.
Now I have to purge that stuff because that's bound to have a negative affect on my karma.
Tuesday, May 15, 2007
Big win, big win....no whammiesssssssssss......STOP!
What a great few days for sports at the Crumerosa! Not only are the teams winning, but both of my boys are experiencing their own personal best for their season. It's quite fun to watch!
Saturday, Owen's game at home - it was a nailbiter, but we won it 10-9. Hooray! Owen came in at the end to shut them down, and shut them down he did. He did not let them score. Saturday afternoon Alex's game in Lansing - another nailbiter, but we won 3-2. Hooray! Alex had an assist on one of our 3 goals. Alex's game on Sunday - we won 1-0. Tight, tight game. The Griffith kids were really aggressive. Alex got called for pushing, tripping, you name it. His passing was dead on. Last night's baseball game for Owen was outstanding. Total team effort, Owen pitched his ass off. Lots of positive self-esteem for both boys as they find themselves on great teams, with great coaches and winning records. Hooray!
Saturday, Owen's game at home - it was a nailbiter, but we won it 10-9. Hooray! Owen came in at the end to shut them down, and shut them down he did. He did not let them score. Saturday afternoon Alex's game in Lansing - another nailbiter, but we won 3-2. Hooray! Alex had an assist on one of our 3 goals. Alex's game on Sunday - we won 1-0. Tight, tight game. The Griffith kids were really aggressive. Alex got called for pushing, tripping, you name it. His passing was dead on. Last night's baseball game for Owen was outstanding. Total team effort, Owen pitched his ass off. Lots of positive self-esteem for both boys as they find themselves on great teams, with great coaches and winning records. Hooray!
Friday, May 11, 2007
Blessed are the weak, for they shall inherit...well...physically ailing addictions...
So I did it, I succumbed...I drank a Diet Coke - nectar of the devil and benevolent addiction gods. I'm trying to figure out what in the hell is wrong with me that I'm yawning 50 million times in a day and literally cannot keep my eyes open. So I have to ask, what have I changed? I removed DC from my diet, that's what. But I've been taking green tea pills! Chock full of wonderful natural caffeine, so I shouldn't be experiencing any withdrawal. WTF? I haven't had a headache since the first day!
My husband found this diet coke somewhere in the garage and stuck it in the frig. On my way out the door I grabbed it...I'm not even ashamed. I put it in the cup holder in the car like I've done so many times before. It looked so pretty and right where it belonged. Alex got in the car and saw it sitting there.
A: Ummm, mom...should I keep this in the car?
Me: Yeah, Alex...I put it there. I plan to drink it.
A: No, I mean, should I keep it a secret? Like what happens in the car stays in the car?
Me: No, it's okay Al. You can tell people if you want, I'm not really keeping it a secret.
HILARIOUS! My son loves me so much he's willing to hide me falling of the wagon from the world.
Also funny from my oldest son:
Last week we went to the barber to get his hair cut. He's clip, clip, clipping away and shaving and clipping and then? Then he pulls out some vacuum cleaner hose attached to the cabinet and proceeds to vacuum my son's neck and head. Ummmm, what?? So Alex's response?
"Boo hairstyling vacuum attachments. Hooray beer!"
He didn't say it very loud - you could hardly hear him over the vacuum itself. But I knew what he said and almost hurled water all over the floor. We were both cracking up and the barber was looking at us like we were nuts.
Even more funny from Alex:
Kiwanis banquet on Wednesday. You have to fill out this questionnaire and they read it. On EVERY kid. Awards received, hobbies, future plans, future occupation. I was madly filling this thing out because my son's handwriting is IMPOSSIBLE to decipher without a Rosetta Stone handy, and I asked him what he wanted me to list as his occupation. "Still a large animal vet?" I asked. "Yeah...or a gunsmith, that would be pretty cool"
A gunsmith? Like in Williamsburg? OMG. Apparently that trip made an impression. I debated on whether or not to put in on there, realizing the ridiculousness of it. But it's what he said, so it's what I wrote. Who knows, maybe he'll move to Williamsburg and make guns for a living, who am I to say? So when the principal is reading this, out loud, to a room full of people, it sounds even MORE ridiculous than it did in my head.
Principal: "And Alex's future occupational plans are to be a large animal veterinarian or a gunsmith"
*chuckles from the crowd here*
Principal: Well, I guess if one doesn't work out the other one will
*full on laughter from the crowd*
Principal goes on to say how he likes to give Alex a hard time and thanks him for giving him more material.
Alex just stood there grinning. That's my boy. And I love him.
My husband found this diet coke somewhere in the garage and stuck it in the frig. On my way out the door I grabbed it...I'm not even ashamed. I put it in the cup holder in the car like I've done so many times before. It looked so pretty and right where it belonged. Alex got in the car and saw it sitting there.
A: Ummm, mom...should I keep this in the car?
Me: Yeah, Alex...I put it there. I plan to drink it.
A: No, I mean, should I keep it a secret? Like what happens in the car stays in the car?
Me: No, it's okay Al. You can tell people if you want, I'm not really keeping it a secret.
HILARIOUS! My son loves me so much he's willing to hide me falling of the wagon from the world.
Also funny from my oldest son:
Last week we went to the barber to get his hair cut. He's clip, clip, clipping away and shaving and clipping and then? Then he pulls out some vacuum cleaner hose attached to the cabinet and proceeds to vacuum my son's neck and head. Ummmm, what?? So Alex's response?
"Boo hairstyling vacuum attachments. Hooray beer!"
He didn't say it very loud - you could hardly hear him over the vacuum itself. But I knew what he said and almost hurled water all over the floor. We were both cracking up and the barber was looking at us like we were nuts.
Even more funny from Alex:
Kiwanis banquet on Wednesday. You have to fill out this questionnaire and they read it. On EVERY kid. Awards received, hobbies, future plans, future occupation. I was madly filling this thing out because my son's handwriting is IMPOSSIBLE to decipher without a Rosetta Stone handy, and I asked him what he wanted me to list as his occupation. "Still a large animal vet?" I asked. "Yeah...or a gunsmith, that would be pretty cool"
A gunsmith? Like in Williamsburg? OMG. Apparently that trip made an impression. I debated on whether or not to put in on there, realizing the ridiculousness of it. But it's what he said, so it's what I wrote. Who knows, maybe he'll move to Williamsburg and make guns for a living, who am I to say? So when the principal is reading this, out loud, to a room full of people, it sounds even MORE ridiculous than it did in my head.
Principal: "And Alex's future occupational plans are to be a large animal veterinarian or a gunsmith"
*chuckles from the crowd here*
Principal: Well, I guess if one doesn't work out the other one will
*full on laughter from the crowd*
Principal goes on to say how he likes to give Alex a hard time and thanks him for giving him more material.
Alex just stood there grinning. That's my boy. And I love him.
Thursday, May 10, 2007
The juice, baby...give me the juice...
Is this what hardcore withdrawal feels like? Because this? This is horrible. Kids, I'm exhausted. Like can't keep my eyes open exhausted - put my head on my desk, falling asleep at Alex's soccer practice TIRED. I don't understand. I know I gave up Diet Coke - but I filled the void with green tea fat burner pills that are chock full of natural caffeine. I am taking vitamins like it was my job and here I sit looking through slits in my eyes to type.
The first one of you who says "But you're so busy" - I swear I will drive to where you are and punch you in the face. Have you met me? Find me a time in my life when I HAVEN'T been busy. This is the only time I've ever worked only ONE job - there have been times when I've worked as many as 3 at one time...and this is AFTER having Alex. This is what I do. I run...and run...and run. Hell - and I'm sorry to say this Colleen - I haven't even been drinking much wine. I did have a glass of Crane Lake Chardonnay last night. I've been trying to get more sleep. I have. Hell, bowling's OVER!
Did I mention the part where I'm taking vitamins like it was my job?!
This level of exhaustion is just depressing. I will stop beating myself up, Pea, if I could just keep my eyes open!
The first one of you who says "But you're so busy" - I swear I will drive to where you are and punch you in the face. Have you met me? Find me a time in my life when I HAVEN'T been busy. This is the only time I've ever worked only ONE job - there have been times when I've worked as many as 3 at one time...and this is AFTER having Alex. This is what I do. I run...and run...and run. Hell - and I'm sorry to say this Colleen - I haven't even been drinking much wine. I did have a glass of Crane Lake Chardonnay last night. I've been trying to get more sleep. I have. Hell, bowling's OVER!
Did I mention the part where I'm taking vitamins like it was my job?!
This level of exhaustion is just depressing. I will stop beating myself up, Pea, if I could just keep my eyes open!
Wednesday, May 09, 2007
Calgon, take me away...
Hi there kids - how is everyone on this fine Wednesday morning?
Well, I finally came up with a schedule for my walking group. We're trying to get together as much as possible in between games and running all over holy hell. We're also mixing in abs and hand weights for toning up. It should be really good and hopefully yank me from this depression I'm finding myself in. Seriously...the pictures from DC have done a number on my psyche folks. It doesn't help that I found some pics of myself in PEAK rockstar condition last night. Alex is the "student of the month" at school, which means he had to bring in pics of himself from various stages of his life. I was pouring through tons of pics last night trying to find some for him to take - and in the process stumbled across some old gig pics.
These are only, what, 7 years ago - damn I was fit. I was kickboxing 3 times a week and living on protein shakes and chromium piccolinate (or however you spell it). I was wearing a shirt that showed my abs like Janet Jackson. Damn those were the days. Now I'm all soft and flabby and ew. EW. EW. I show my abs to no one because they now look more like Randy Jackson. I'm doing' my thing, dawg.
I'm now considering growing my hair back out and I sure as shit need to do something about this love handle situation. So it begins. I stepped on the scale the other day. EW. Not that I've ever really cared about what the scale says - but let's just say I weigh enough that I could donate 2 pints of blood in one sitting if I wanted to. I'll keep you posted. Is it bad that last night I had cheese and crackers for dinner. I was tired and my family decided to cook for themselves. Nothing sounded good, so I just snacked. Yeah, that's probably bad.
I'll have a salad for lunch today - that's the ticket.
Well, I finally came up with a schedule for my walking group. We're trying to get together as much as possible in between games and running all over holy hell. We're also mixing in abs and hand weights for toning up. It should be really good and hopefully yank me from this depression I'm finding myself in. Seriously...the pictures from DC have done a number on my psyche folks. It doesn't help that I found some pics of myself in PEAK rockstar condition last night. Alex is the "student of the month" at school, which means he had to bring in pics of himself from various stages of his life. I was pouring through tons of pics last night trying to find some for him to take - and in the process stumbled across some old gig pics.
These are only, what, 7 years ago - damn I was fit. I was kickboxing 3 times a week and living on protein shakes and chromium piccolinate (or however you spell it). I was wearing a shirt that showed my abs like Janet Jackson. Damn those were the days. Now I'm all soft and flabby and ew. EW. EW. I show my abs to no one because they now look more like Randy Jackson. I'm doing' my thing, dawg.
I'm now considering growing my hair back out and I sure as shit need to do something about this love handle situation. So it begins. I stepped on the scale the other day. EW. Not that I've ever really cared about what the scale says - but let's just say I weigh enough that I could donate 2 pints of blood in one sitting if I wanted to. I'll keep you posted. Is it bad that last night I had cheese and crackers for dinner. I was tired and my family decided to cook for themselves. Nothing sounded good, so I just snacked. Yeah, that's probably bad.
I'll have a salad for lunch today - that's the ticket.
Monday, May 07, 2007
Take me out to the ball game, take me out to the crowd....
Well, I did it. For better or worse, I did it. I sang the national anthem in front of my entire community. People said it sounded great, but I thought it sounded like shit. It sounded PERFECT in my bedroom when I was warming up in the morning. But in front of people, with my voice shaking all over the place? Not so much. I almost puked. I had myself REALLY worked up over this. I was more nervous than I was at Jimmer's....waaaaaaay more nervous. I should have sucked a beer down or something before I left the house.
*Note to self, no singing without some form of alcohol in my system. Ever. EVER.
I did hit every note...no one can accuse me of being tone deaf, that's for sure. I had to hold the mic - so that kept the spastic moves to a minimum. A bunch of softball girls came up to me gushing when I was done, so I guess that's a good sign, and Donny the bball prez who asked me to do it shouted "YEAH!" when I was done.
After that it was business as usual. The concession stand was overrun and understaffed as usual, so I bopped in there for awhile. Then Owen had his game. He started pitching - he looked really great. Composed, in the zone. The few he threw in the dirt he bounced back from. They ended up calling his game in the 4th inning due to the slaughter rule...they were beating the other team 15 -1. And that was only because we have a 5 run limit for each inning. This is what replace the "10th batter" rule. Remember that? Owen did have one 3 up, 3 down inning which was great and made it out of 4 innings in well under 60 pitches. This is a good thing. Pitch counts are what it's all about.
They have practice tonight and their next game is on Wednesday. I have to miss it, which makes me sad because Coach Kevin is putting Owen in at catcher. I've never seen Owen play that position and after seeing the game on Saturday? You MUST have someone who can stop a ball in that spot. LOTS of bases gained on the catcher not stopping the ball. It's probably good I won't be there, I'd be a nervous wreck.
Owen hit well on Saturday, too. A walk, a single and a triple. Maybe two walks. Their pitchers were having problems getting it over the plate. Hell, they were having trouble getting it IN FRONT of the batter instead of behind them. I felt bad for the little guys.
I'm missing Wednesday's game for the Kiwanis banquet. Remember this from last year? Alex and I have a plan this year. No ketchup, no gum...we're going to be better this time. We can learn from our mistakes.
*Note to self, no singing without some form of alcohol in my system. Ever. EVER.
I did hit every note...no one can accuse me of being tone deaf, that's for sure. I had to hold the mic - so that kept the spastic moves to a minimum. A bunch of softball girls came up to me gushing when I was done, so I guess that's a good sign, and Donny the bball prez who asked me to do it shouted "YEAH!" when I was done.
After that it was business as usual. The concession stand was overrun and understaffed as usual, so I bopped in there for awhile. Then Owen had his game. He started pitching - he looked really great. Composed, in the zone. The few he threw in the dirt he bounced back from. They ended up calling his game in the 4th inning due to the slaughter rule...they were beating the other team 15 -1. And that was only because we have a 5 run limit for each inning. This is what replace the "10th batter" rule. Remember that? Owen did have one 3 up, 3 down inning which was great and made it out of 4 innings in well under 60 pitches. This is a good thing. Pitch counts are what it's all about.
They have practice tonight and their next game is on Wednesday. I have to miss it, which makes me sad because Coach Kevin is putting Owen in at catcher. I've never seen Owen play that position and after seeing the game on Saturday? You MUST have someone who can stop a ball in that spot. LOTS of bases gained on the catcher not stopping the ball. It's probably good I won't be there, I'd be a nervous wreck.
Owen hit well on Saturday, too. A walk, a single and a triple. Maybe two walks. Their pitchers were having problems getting it over the plate. Hell, they were having trouble getting it IN FRONT of the batter instead of behind them. I felt bad for the little guys.
I'm missing Wednesday's game for the Kiwanis banquet. Remember this from last year? Alex and I have a plan this year. No ketchup, no gum...we're going to be better this time. We can learn from our mistakes.
Friday, May 04, 2007
The most wonderful thing about Tiggers, is Tiggers are wonderful things!
Happy Birthday Tig!! A day late, because I was so focused on drinking wine I completely spaced. I guess we're not doing so good this year!
What did the boys get you? Anything good?
The wine tasting event last night was stellar. Lots of good food, tons of great wine. I met Ashton Kutcher's twin brother, Michael. That was pretty cool. There was a roaming photographer taking pics at the event and he snapped one of Michael, Janet and I. When he posts it to the website I'll let you know.
I'm exhausted and I have a lot of work to do. But here's the deal - they want me to sing the national anthem at opening day tomorrow for little league. So for those of you that were there and heard me at Jimmer's 30th bash - did I suck? Should I not embarrass myself in front of MY ENTIRE COMMUNITY??? Tell me true, because this is happening tomorrow.
OMG.
What did the boys get you? Anything good?
The wine tasting event last night was stellar. Lots of good food, tons of great wine. I met Ashton Kutcher's twin brother, Michael. That was pretty cool. There was a roaming photographer taking pics at the event and he snapped one of Michael, Janet and I. When he posts it to the website I'll let you know.
I'm exhausted and I have a lot of work to do. But here's the deal - they want me to sing the national anthem at opening day tomorrow for little league. So for those of you that were there and heard me at Jimmer's 30th bash - did I suck? Should I not embarrass myself in front of MY ENTIRE COMMUNITY??? Tell me true, because this is happening tomorrow.
OMG.
Thursday, May 03, 2007
Working sucks...and other obvious statements
So the young Kathy says I'M selfish?? She went and had another kid and left me...
all by myself.....don't wanna be....all by myself...anymore...*sniff*
And moreover, I have to do all her stinking work while she's gone. She's at home, relaxing, enjoying her vacation, hanging out with the kids doin' nothing and I'm over here busting my ass. I mean, how hard can it be, right? Paige sleeps all the time and Gavin is old enough now that he just self-entertains. This is bullshit.
Kathy are you laughing or groaning? Yeah, you couldn't pay me enough for the sleep deprivation my work-wife is experiencing right now.
I'm pretty overwhelmed because I'm not even one iota as good at Kathy's job as she is and it's very frustrating. BUT, I am almost 3 full days diet coke free. My headaches are subsiding. I'm drinking 3 bottles of water (at least) per day, and already I've noticed a difference in my skin. My age has brought some pretty strange things, but these dry patches on my chin? Annoying. It kind of looks like diaper rash if it gets bad. But lately this morning I noticed that I might have been able to go without moisturizer if I wanted to, and this is a good thing, because sometimes I forget.
Now for the bad news. I called to make an appointment with my naturopath? The woman who has changed my life? She's out until May 20th. And then? She's closing her Merrillville office. OF COURSE SHE IS. What have I done to my karma to deserve this??? She's the person I get my miracle pills from so I don't have to take ibuprofen! She's the reason I made it through a week in DC sleeping on a crummy mattress, driving for hours in vans and dealing with moody middle schoolers! She got me started on my current health kick! What in the fuck am I supposed to do NOW??? Hrmph. Very frustrating. Amazon.com sells all of my pills, so that's good. I guess I'm on my own. Hopefully she'll be able to recommend another good acupuncturist. I'm so sad. I liked her.
all by myself.....don't wanna be....all by myself...anymore...*sniff*
And moreover, I have to do all her stinking work while she's gone. She's at home, relaxing, enjoying her vacation, hanging out with the kids doin' nothing and I'm over here busting my ass. I mean, how hard can it be, right? Paige sleeps all the time and Gavin is old enough now that he just self-entertains. This is bullshit.
Kathy are you laughing or groaning? Yeah, you couldn't pay me enough for the sleep deprivation my work-wife is experiencing right now.
I'm pretty overwhelmed because I'm not even one iota as good at Kathy's job as she is and it's very frustrating. BUT, I am almost 3 full days diet coke free. My headaches are subsiding. I'm drinking 3 bottles of water (at least) per day, and already I've noticed a difference in my skin. My age has brought some pretty strange things, but these dry patches on my chin? Annoying. It kind of looks like diaper rash if it gets bad. But lately this morning I noticed that I might have been able to go without moisturizer if I wanted to, and this is a good thing, because sometimes I forget.
Now for the bad news. I called to make an appointment with my naturopath? The woman who has changed my life? She's out until May 20th. And then? She's closing her Merrillville office. OF COURSE SHE IS. What have I done to my karma to deserve this??? She's the person I get my miracle pills from so I don't have to take ibuprofen! She's the reason I made it through a week in DC sleeping on a crummy mattress, driving for hours in vans and dealing with moody middle schoolers! She got me started on my current health kick! What in the fuck am I supposed to do NOW??? Hrmph. Very frustrating. Amazon.com sells all of my pills, so that's good. I guess I'm on my own. Hopefully she'll be able to recommend another good acupuncturist. I'm so sad. I liked her.
Tuesday, May 01, 2007
Vision...hazy...knees...weak...throat...so...dryyyyyyyyyy...
26 hours.
26 HOURS. That's how long I've been without my favorite vice. My favorite mistake. My good friend and long time companion. The man in the silver can...Diet Coke. First ibuprofen, now this?? What's the world coming to?
I'm 4 weeks off ibuprofen, by the way. Thank you, thank you. Hard to believe considering I was swallowing those puppies down like a chronic halitosis sufferer on tic-tacs.
This is the turning point, people. I am a beaten woman. My 35+ years have caught up to me. I am now, officially, soft in the middle. Real soft. Charmin soft. Recent pictures of myself brought to mind an episode of Friends with Monica in her "fat years" and she said "the camera adds ten pounds!" and Chandler responded "How many cameras are on you?" (chick-chick-boom! mra3=dork)
Fixing my shoulder is the first step. It seems to be well in hand. Must call about acupuncture appt. this week.
Quitting diet coke is another. First, it's not really diet. There are studies that show it actually makes women heavier in their midsection and thighs. Ummmm, check and check. Plus the aspertame? I might as well drink rat poison every day. And after the shakes and the shimmies and the vibrations and the twitching all leading into every neurological test known to man - it's time to break up. Jul & Suz are on the bandwagon with me, and we've all shared this addiction for 20 years or more now. I feel like an alcoholic, I'm really just taking this one day at a time.
So here I sit, with my water, and my salad having just finished a yogurt with flax seed. OMG. I sound like a damn tree hugger.
And for those of you who are about to light up the comments section of this blog with "What are you thinking? You look fine. You're exaggerating" type bullshit? Save it. SAVE IT. Pants that fit me last year no longer fit. Shirts that fit me last year? The muffin top spilling over the pants that no longer fit me is bulging beyond belief. I'm not in this to lose a ton of weight, but being more fit is a good goal.
I'm starting a women's health group with my walking club. I need support. And not just in my bras. I'll keep you posted on my progress. I'm keeping the wine addiction. It's all I have left.
26 HOURS. That's how long I've been without my favorite vice. My favorite mistake. My good friend and long time companion. The man in the silver can...Diet Coke. First ibuprofen, now this?? What's the world coming to?
I'm 4 weeks off ibuprofen, by the way. Thank you, thank you. Hard to believe considering I was swallowing those puppies down like a chronic halitosis sufferer on tic-tacs.
This is the turning point, people. I am a beaten woman. My 35+ years have caught up to me. I am now, officially, soft in the middle. Real soft. Charmin soft. Recent pictures of myself brought to mind an episode of Friends with Monica in her "fat years" and she said "the camera adds ten pounds!" and Chandler responded "How many cameras are on you?" (chick-chick-boom! mra3=dork)
Fixing my shoulder is the first step. It seems to be well in hand. Must call about acupuncture appt. this week.
Quitting diet coke is another. First, it's not really diet. There are studies that show it actually makes women heavier in their midsection and thighs. Ummmm, check and check. Plus the aspertame? I might as well drink rat poison every day. And after the shakes and the shimmies and the vibrations and the twitching all leading into every neurological test known to man - it's time to break up. Jul & Suz are on the bandwagon with me, and we've all shared this addiction for 20 years or more now. I feel like an alcoholic, I'm really just taking this one day at a time.
So here I sit, with my water, and my salad having just finished a yogurt with flax seed. OMG. I sound like a damn tree hugger.
And for those of you who are about to light up the comments section of this blog with "What are you thinking? You look fine. You're exaggerating" type bullshit? Save it. SAVE IT. Pants that fit me last year no longer fit. Shirts that fit me last year? The muffin top spilling over the pants that no longer fit me is bulging beyond belief. I'm not in this to lose a ton of weight, but being more fit is a good goal.
I'm starting a women's health group with my walking club. I need support. And not just in my bras. I'll keep you posted on my progress. I'm keeping the wine addiction. It's all I have left.
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