The writer's strike sucks and other obvious tidbits...

When I heard the writers were going to strike I thought "This sucks."

And now that there is truly no new/different/funny television out there because of the writers strike I've confirmed that "This sucks." I mean, reality TV was already threatening to take over and now HAS, in fact, taken over as the only "unscripted" (and I use that term VERY loosely) shows on television and therefore not needing any writers. Not to mention most of them are filmed months in advance, and probably were done before the strike.

Anyway, I digress. Reality TV sucks (except for Idol, which starts this week, and I'm so excited I can hardly STAND it).

What I wasn't expecting from the writer's strike? For them to ruin my award show season. MY AWARD SHOW SEASON, PEOPLE! I am a red carpet junkie...remember, I came out of the closet last year?!? I require my red carpet and my overly processed Hollywood types and several phone calls to my mother and my sister-in-law praising or bashing what we see. I require foo-foo cocktails for such viewings and for my family to leave.me.alone.period. The Golden Globes were last night. GOLDEN GLOBES. This is like the mother ship for people like me and they didn't even HAVE a red carpet because NO ONE CAME. No one. Well, unless you count Nancy O'Dell. Not. They called them off, and the awards were handed out by entertainment reporters to NO ONE. Whodowa??? This chips away at the very core of who I am. No best and worst dressed list the next day on E!??? No horrible red carpet banter from the Rivers duo?

WHAT??

Now this shit has gotten to me. It's bad enough that I'm stuck with no Grey's, no Brothers and Sisters, no Chuck, no Life...but, but...I almost can't speak.

Give them what they want already you overpaid buffoons so I can at least have my Oscars and salvage SOMETHING from this award season. It's the 50th anniversary of the Grammy's for fuck's sake. Let's go.

If you're looking for something interesting to read - Eileen posted out on a blog about the writer's blog "Why We Write", where very famous writers and producers share why they started and continue writing the shows you probably love. Some of them are lame and preachy, but some of it is very, very good. Take a peek: Why We Write

Oh, and the Colts suck. Peyton is good, guys, but he still needs an OFFENSIVE LINE and I don't know, maybe a DEFENSE that can stop a SECOND STRING DAMN QUARTERBACK in the fucking PLAYOFFS from marching the ball down the field and scoring a touchdown. Ya think? At least the other Manning had a team that looked like they wanted to win and did. All I have to say to that is Go Green Bay! (And I still hate the Pats, how they play so horribly every 1st half and then win is beyond me. I think they do it on purpose just to screw with me)

And last, my kid rocks. Played the drums with Pistol Pete at the Blues Jam yesterday and I got some great pics from Mary Hampton. When she posts them on her website I'll let you know. But I still can't find anyone to give him a decent haircut. Oy. (*ETA: she posted them, I was just too dumb to find them - click on the "I'll let you know" link...for specific pics of me, go to about page 20 and then again starting on page 26 of the thumbnails.)

Something cool I just found on Picasa: the highlights from last Sunday from Mary:

It takes two to make a thing go right....

It takes two to make it outta sight...
Hit it...

(If you can finish that song lyric, I love you like I would marry you)

I just read an old blog post on a stranger-friend's blog, and he was venting about how his son doesn't really like to read, and my friend is an avid book junkie.

I have two boys. Two very different, wonderful boys. Both smart, both funny, both considerate, polite, devilishly handsome (biased) young men.

One reads...the other...well, notsomuch. I mean, he can read...he will read...but he doesn't thirst for it. Doesn't hunger for it. Doesn't put a book down and want to talk about it, or read more by that author or laugh out loud while he's reading. That's just my Owen.

Alex on the other hand? Insatiable. My stranger-friend blamed the video-game, movie-driven society in which we live. But Alex grew up in the Playstation era - and still, he reads. And reads. And reads. I gave him "Lord of the Flies" at Owen's age. I couldn't imagine Owen reading that right now. I started Alex on all the classics at Owen's age...he devoured them. Animal Farm, 1984, Brave New World, Call of the Wild, Treasure Island, Count of Monte Cristo, Of Mice and Men. Things most kids don't ever read voluntarily and certainly not until high school. But I was running out of "chapter books" and they were clearly beneath him. So onward we went into the novels I loved in my teens.

But what I've come to learn, what I've come to love...are those differences. Owen is my athlete. He loves sports, all sports. Loves watching them, talking about them, projecting them. He loves checking the stats, knowing the stats, comparing the stats. He loves cars. Being able to recognize cars on the road, talking about which year made the best model of a particular car. He's my more outgoing one, my compassionate one. Alex is my reserved one. My reader. My thinker. My quick-wit...he would no sooner watch sports than light himself on fire. He'll finish a book as soon as humanly possible because he craves the ending. He likes knowing technical details about everything. He likes watching the same movie over and over and over to pick up the one-liners and use them in every day life. He's my musician, a lover of all sorts of music.

It's brilliant! Because I love all of these things, too!! I love watching sports! I love talking about sports. If I wasn't half deformed and had any coordination I would love to play sports! I love cars! I used to spend my time with my friend John Steffen talking about cars to an exhausting extent. I love to read! I love talking about books. And I do love watching movies over and over again to pick up the one-liners and use them in every day life. I love music. Love to listen to it, sing it, feel it, play it, see it.

In short I just feel fortunate to have my two very different boys to share so many of my different passions with. And the one they share is the most important of all! They love food!!! I can take them anywhere and they will try anything! They love it when the house smells of vegetable soup stewing away in the crock pot or a good pot of sauce on the stove.

So in the beginning of the new year - I say, celebrate your differences!! Celebrate the differences in the people you love! Every different person you have in your life brings something new to your table...and isn't it wonderful??

Sorry folks..

That there have been no new updates. My job is kicking my ass.

Quick update:
Yes, the Steelers lost. I was sad. Actually, I'm still not over it. I didn't think they'd win without Willie Parker and a couple of other injured peeps. If only they hadn't rallied...I actually got hopeful. But alas, NE is next up for the Jags, and they will have their asses handed to them appropriately. The only team with a shot of taking out the Pats is Indy, otherwise it's going to be a NE/Green Bay/Dallas superbowl. I'm unwilling to commit to the NFC bid just yet...I'd love it if Green Bay went.

On a more tumultuous note - no good deed goes unpunished. I hate it when the managing partner/owner here at the firm says it - but ultimately he's right. Almost always. Which I also hate. He drags me out of my rose colored glasses world of believing the best out of people. He shares this quality with my husband. They both say mean things about people and I always defend those idiots and tell them that they're being too cynical. And in the end, they both end up being right and I hate it. I refuse to let my faith in the goodness of humanity be thwarted, however...and so I trudge on. I realize you guys have NO idea what I'm talking about. I'm just venting....

Blues jam is back on, kids - Sundays 4-8. Well, let's be realistic...5-9. It's getting better all the time and the food is still AWESOME. Get there.

Julie - I miss you.

My girlfriend Jen is pregnant. YAY Jen! June baby...can't wait. She won't tell me if it's a boy or a girl, though. Grrrrrr.

My to do list is getting longer here at work and I'm exhausted. Oy. I feel like there are things I'm forgetting which is NOT GOOD when you are solely responsible for the updating and security of your network for a firm protecting personal data for too many people to think about.

The tone of this email isn't really uplifting, is it. Sorry guys and dolls -
When all else fails, celebrate!

2008! 2008! 2008!

Seriously? 2008?? OMG.

Here's what you missed at the end of 2007:

Bowling night Thursday, 12/20: I had the shot at the $187 strike pot. It looked so pretty going down the lane - right in the pocket - a hush LITERALLY fell over the crowd...aaaaaaand...nuthin. 8. I got 8. I wouldn't care so much if a certain c u next tuesday didn't end up winning MY money. There aren't many people in that bowling alley I don't like. She's one of them. Bitch.

Waterpark weekend - a blast. A total blast. But girls, I'm here to tell ya, they didn't make 18 year old boys like that when I was an 18 year old girl. What is going on? Where are they growing these factory made 6-pack stomach, arm&hammer arms...whodawa?? Ummmm, mercy...mercy me. Am I too young to become a dirty old woman?

Christmas - busy - fun - a good time was had by all. LOVE the Wii. If you haven't bowled on the Wii, you must. It's a total blast. Even my dad bowled using his walker. We laughed and laughed. I got a locket with my boys pictures in it. I've never had a locket before. Love it.

Day after Christmas - Chicago - Shedd Aquarium - ice skating in Millenium Park. I love the city.

Thursday, 12/27 - Alex turns 15. I have to work, even though I was 'on vacation' - new copiers delivered - total drama. Late, everything was late...I still made my hair appt. Best hair of my entire life...again...I don't know how she does it. Love Liz. Bowling was...well, bowling. My Roselawn wife Linda? Kicked it in the ass. 212 first game, 222 third game. Brilliant.

Friday night - Howl at the Moon in Chicago with my college roommate & company. Good times - Chicago H@tM not as much fun as Indy H@tM...they did too many slow songs and didn't get the crowd into it as much. Still had fun and got to catch up with my gal pal, her hubby, brother and his wife. Bitch hasn't aged a DAY since our first day of freshman year. I love her - but still secretly hate her as she has always been one of the most beautiful people inside and out that I have ever known. And she teaches high school boys. (and girls) They must LOVE her.

Saturday night - gig at Blues Island. All I have to say is this:

I didn't bring that boa, but I soooooo wanted to steal it when the night was done. Something about singin the blues with feathers on - made me very happy. Game on. Lordy is quick on the draw - official pics at Chicago Blues Beat...

Sunday was football and more football. Monday was party preparation.
NYE found us ringing in the new year with our Roselawn Crew. The kids ruled the roost. One broken pool cue...whoops. Boys played poker in the garage and smoked cigars. Girls played....wait for it....SPOONS in the dining room. What a hoot. My drunk ass hubby on a four wheeler plowing not just our driveway, but the entire street so people could get home. I should have stopped after one glass of champagne - that stuff is not good for your hangover the next day.

Yesterday was a lazy day of leftovers and football and whatever movie we could catch on the movie channels.

And now, here I sit...back to work. That's my vacation in a nutshell kids....what did you do over the holidays? Eat too much? check. Drink too much? check. Stay up too late and sleep in when you could so that your biological clock is all screwed up when you have to go back to work? check.

Resolutions forthcoming - welcome 2008!

Happy Holidays to you and yours...

Well kids...it's the Thursday before the holidays - are you ready?? Stocking stuffers...last minute gifts??

I'm feeling a bit pressured. I thought I was so on top of things and yet I feel like I have nothing done.

I'm taking the next 12 days off...I'll try to blog from home, keep you posted on the insanity of our holiday season, but if you don't see me updating for a couple of days, it's because I don't like to log in to any computer when I'm at home.

Sooooooo...Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night...

Jibjab...

Hi all - glad to see you're enjoying the flip! I have some great footage of the big concert with Alex, but in the confusion this morning (they ended up canceling school for Owen AGAIN) I left the flip at HOME. grrrr.

So I'll give you this for your viewing pleasure...featuring me, Kev-head and the kids, plus a couple of extras from our blogging family...

Don't send a lame Holiday eCard. Try JibJab Sendables!

Enjoy

Triple shot!!!

So I'm so glad Tigger finally has SPEAKERS so she can hear this lovely video I'm about to post.

I think she threatened to kill me if I posted it.

Whoops...it just sort of slipped onto my computer and into my blog.

Fear not BBFF's - there will be more of Tigger to come, I'm sure...
Ladies and gents...
The Tigger...




Apologies all the way around for the shakiness of the vid - I was just laughing too hard...tripod where are you??

Double Post Friday

Okay - so pay attention here, kiddies...two post Friday. I just posted my short review of the flip...and then I realized Sugar Snap Pea is here...so I figured I would do my first video run of "getting to know our blogging family." Make sure you read the review post AND I changed my first video post from yesterday a little. ENJOY.

Without further ado...
The Pea...



Again - I produced this in Quicktime format as to keep it small, yet viewable. The picture quality isn't perfect, and not nearly as good as what I get in the .avi format...but blogger doesn't like my large and in charge video sizes when I start playing around.

Flippin Out...

I started responding to our new blogging friend Kristen, when I realized I was typing too much to be a comment. I decided to make it a post.

My short review of the flip...
The flip is great. Took it with me to my son's Christmas concert last night - In the dark theater sitting away from the stage, the video quality is good...probably not as good as a big handheld camera with 10x optical zoom, but for the size and portability - it's GREAT. The sound is very impressive, if you ask me.

Recommendations - get the tripod AND get a short 3' USB extension. I ordered both for myself. I worry that repeated docking of the flip to a computer would eventually wear down that arm - but if I can just set it on the desk and hook it to an extension cable, that would be better. I shake entirely too much to hold ANY video camera.

Get extended life batteries for electronics. The batteries yesterday lasted about as long as they said they would - approx. 2.5 hours of video/playback time. I was playing with it quite a bit yesterday and the batteries died by the end of the night. Cool thing? Because the flip has an adapter that hooks directly to the TV - Alex could watch the video of his show on our DVD player on the way home.

As for ease of use and everything else - it's brilliant...just BRILLIANT. Getting it out of the box and into production...2.2 seconds. It takes you longer to install the batteries than to figure it out.

I love it like I would marry it.

All by myyyyyyyyyysellllllf....

It's hard to talk to a camera when you're sitting in your office and you're supposed to be working. I make strange facial expressions. I think I do that even when I'm talking to real people, not just a camera.

I got a new toy...get one!
ETA: 12/14...I reproduced the video with some intro slides...but when I created it in .avi format it was WAY too big. So I produced it to use quicktime and it's much smaller, but a little grainier. Bear with me while I figure all of this out.

Mother of the year award...

OMG. I am perfectly willing to admit that I am not on the ball all of the time. I'm not. I miss things, forget things...my kids don't always inform me of things...

But this takes the cake.

Alex is in concert band at Andrean. It's not a huge program - nothing at Andrean outside of football would be considered a large program. 16 kids, maybe, in band. 30 kids, maybe in choir. So a couple of weeks ago I saw the Christmas Concert on the schedule and that tickets were for sale. Well, with basketball and other things happening, I wasn't sure when we'd be able to go and didn't think it horrible that I didn't buy tickets in advance. I can just pay when I go...right? It's just a little band/choir performance...right?

WRONG.

The thing is sold out. Whodawa? Sold out? Sold out for THREE STRAIGHT NIGHTS. If you don't already have a ticket the best you can hope for is to show up and pray someone else doesn't. It's not just a little band/choir deal. It's band, choir, string ensemble, pep band, pep band with soloists, pep band with full choir, jazz ensembles, the dance team ... HUGE deal with LOTS of kids involved, and lots of parents, students, grandparents and whatnot wanting to attend.

Oh boy.

And me without my tickets. So I guess we'll be going tonight and tomorrow to try and get in. The thing is 2 1/2 hours long with intermission.

What a weekend, boys and girls...

Well, we finally went and cut down our Christmas tree....the boys always love this event. It was especially fun this year since there was snow on the ground. Needless to say, snowball fights ensued and I brought home 3 cold wet boys and a tree. We got a different style of tree this year, I'm usually a short needle kind of girl, but the boys wanted a tree with long needles...you know the poofy looking kind.

Well what a disaster THAT decision turned out to be.

Ummmm, those branches? Barely hold LIGHTS let alone ornaments...Oh my. And then, last night, for some reason...the thing fell over. Right now my living room is a hot mess of water, pine needles and broken bulbs. Oy.

Friday night I was cooking dinner with the boys and asking them general questions about school and whatnot when Alex pipes up that his friends think he has a girlfriend. Ummmmm, why would they think this? Because a girl has apparently laid claim to my boy informing him that he's taking her to the winter formal.

Ummmm, what?

First of all, who is this girl? And secondly...YOU'RE GOING TO THE WINTER FORMAL? When is it? A: I have no idea. Whodawa? You have no idea? Is it after Christmas? A: Maybe. Well great. A quick hop out to the school website tells me it's on January 26th. Tickets are $50 per couple. Does that include dinner? A: I have no idea. Do you want to take this girl to the dance? A: Sure, I guess, yeah.

OMG.

Is there anyone else you were thinking of taking? A: No, not really. Well, do you like her, like her or is she just a friend? A: I don't know...she's fine, she's cool, whatever. Oh seriously, like pulling teeth, this conversation. So I still have no idea if this is a friend thing, or a girlfriend thing, or what. But I CAN tell you that I will be going into the homework room the next time I pick him up so I can potentially get a visual on this chick. Her mom works in the office so she's always around...that's what his friends told me this weekend. I'll be able to tell everything about what he thinks about her just by seeing how he acts when I'm around.

So my son is going to his first high school dance.

I.am.old.

I miss me some ze frank...

What? You don't know who ze frank is?? Shame on you. Have I not posted about him before? I think Scottish is the one who originally got me hooked, due to the fact that his wife was infatuated with ze frank. Is that how it went. Anyway, I've been busy and haven't had much time to be funny, but my office actually looks almost presentable. In that "stacks of crap" kind of way I've perfected in my 36 years.

So I'm leaving you with this episode of the show...

Snow Plow? We don' t need no stinking snow plow...

So Big Poppa is laid up - and definitely not shoveling any snow...and because he didn't plan ahead, and neither did my mom....and neither did I...my MOTHER shoveled the driveway yesterday. My mother who just had knee surgery herself not that long ago and has a horrible back problem (sciatic nerve deal??) is SHOVELING THE DRIVEWAY. Because what? They lost my phone number? They forget that while I can't personally plow the driveway, I am people who knows people, dammit! I've got friends in snow places! I know people with plows, able bodied men who live close-by who could shovel for them. For the love. My mother. Shoveling. "well, I just kind of pushed the snow, Bek, I didn't really lift anything. And I felt fine. And I'm doing my stretches." Seriously - let me say what you're all already thinking. This will totally be me someday. Little fixer that I am. Little "make it happen" girl. I come by it honestly!! See?? It's not my fault. God love her, but I could kill her sometimes.

I've already put the call in to my dad today that if more snow comes tonight and they can't find someone to call me. I'm thinking of firing off warning shots now.

19 days until Christmas.

Making your way in the world today takes everything you've got...

My boys are at such interesting ages...

Alex, at 14, is really becoming more and more independent - I got to meet some of his friends over the weekend (they came to my house for a school project) and they fit him so well...it was fun to see them interact, talk about their school crap, teachers, assignments. The disdain in their voices, the laughter over teachers and what they wear and say, the snide comments about girls...ah yes...teenagerdom. I remember it well. Apparently Alex is quite the ladies man. If you ask his friends, anyway. He gets hugged...a lot...by various chicks. And they like writing on his hand - whatever that means. Did I ever write on a boys hand? Probably. I know I doodled on folders and left notes in lockers. Foolish, foolish girl. NEVER put it in WRITING. Oy.

His big "garage band 101" concert is Sunday, December 16th, 4pm at Front Porch Music for any of you interested in attending.

Owen, at 10, is looking for his place in the universe. "I typed in 'who is Owen Crum' in ask.com," he says to me yesterday. (He LOVES ask.com) Really...what did it say? "Not much." Well, you're still young...you haven't had time to make an impact yet. So we googled his name and didn't come up with much there either. But we did stumble onto a site that listed all known first names with the last name Crum...and how popular it is as a last name. We started clicking on the name combinations, and then we saw the origin and meanings of various first names. Owen found this FASCINATING. He was clicking on all the names of his friends, our names, other family names...he was hooked. Then we went out to other sites to see what they said the names mean. "This is so cool" he kept saying.

He wanted to print stuff so he could take it to school and show his friends. But well, the printer is in the other room and I haven't been a good enough geek to enable the samba print sharing on the mac in there...and we were watching the Pats-Ravens game (don't even talk about it) - and yeah, no printing. (yes I've already found documentation on how to do this and I now realize I was making it too hard)

He was so taken in with the history of names and their meanings...his means "well-bred" or "well born" and "warrior." Well CLEARLY! He was terribly pleased to find this out, once I explained to him what well-bred meant. With those eyelashes and that demeanor - um, yeah, honey...you are definitely well-bred.

21 days til Christmas...

It's the most wonderful time of the year....

Well, I don't know about that, because it's DAMN cold outside. Bone-chilling cold. Can't shake it cold. I hate cold.

BUT

I did take a "mental health day" off yesterday and go shopping with the girls. We took off to the premium outlets lighthouse edition or whatever they're calling it these days. We started the day off right with mimosa's in my girlfriend's kitchen. Hooray mimosa's! And then off to MC. There were 8 of us altogether, and once we got there it was a frenzy of shopping to be sure. We all had places we wanted to go, so we separated and met up at various places...talked about deals here, deals there - stopped for coffee. We loaded up the cars several times over...I got a lot of people knocked off my list. Hooray shopping!

And because we were in MC, some of the girls wanted to go try their luck on the Blue Chip. Now I am not a gambler, by any stretch of the imagination. If I have money to burn, I'd rather burn it on shoes, or good wine, or a cocktail...not risking it to *maybe* win something. But off to the boat we went. The brilliant part? We signed up for their card and got a free lunch buffet - a $12 value!! Ummm, free food? Yes please. It was good, too.

I had $20 to waste, and I put $10 in video poker...I was up, I was down...and ultimately...I stayed down. Boo poker.

I moved on to slots and put in $5 - I ended up with $16.25, so overall, I was up a whopping $1.25. Hooray winning! But I forgot to get cash before I got there, so I had to pay a $3 fee to their ATM. Boo fees! So I guess I ended up down $1.75. Boooo!

But I got a lot of shopping done!
And free lunch!!
And I think a good time was had by all....

Hitting a little close to home....

OMG - so the hubby and Julie and Tiffany and Amy and Tony and I all went to a wine tasting on Sunday. It was in Chesterton, so I suspected I might run into a few old classmates. I did.

One of them was a bit freaky.

Do you remember when I mentioned way back when last year that I was raising a drummer? And that I said it must have been karmic payback for breaking up too many times with my high school drummer boyfriend? Bill Trowbridge? Well, Bill was there on Sunday. And he said "I've got a bone to pick with you." Umm, you do? I haven't seen you in like 5 years...and then he says "I googled my name and found myself on your blog."

GULP.

You did. Oh. I must have looked panic-stricken because he quickly said it was nothing bad. I was mortified. Holy crap. Was it bad? I didn't think so. I didn't ever remember typing anything truly bad about anyone (save for Festivus) and certainly not about Bill. But my brain was spinning. Did you guys know that my blog is on the INTERNET and therefore ANYONE can read it? Did you? And I want to all to know that I purposely put his full name in the blog again so that if he ever googles himself and finds this he'll know that he totally freaked me out! (Hi Bill!!)

Julie just laughed at me. "Maybe you should just say Bill T. or Julie B. when you refer to people"

Maybe I should.

I very quickly started thinking about everyone I've ever blogged about and whether or not they could have stumbled onto it and thought I was horrible. I guess if I do blog badly about people I don't really care if they stumble onto it...do I?

OY. It makes my head hurt.

So it's Thanksgiving Eve...biggest party night of the year. I'm gigging with Jon&Laura&Bob&Cousin David and who knows who else...good times. I'll wake up with mimosas and cinnamon rolls...mmmmmm...cinnamon rolls.

Happy Thanksgiving bloggers!

Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall...

Humpty Dumpty had a great fall...
And all the great surgeons
and all the great nurses
had to put humpty dumpty back together again...

So my dad was cleaning the gutters and fell off the ladder. He probably free fell about 9 feet straight onto the asphalt driveway. He broke his femur. Way up high by where it connects into his pelvis. Two hours of surgery later and he's the bionic man. Well, not bionic...but titanium. I wonder if he'll have to carry one of those cards to get through the airport?

It's going to be a long recovery for the man. That is not a good bone to break, what with it being large and weight-bearing and all.

We're very fortunate that that's all that happened. A man went hunting the other day in Valpo and never came home. They found him at the bottom of a tree. He fell out of his stand and broke his neck. I'm so grateful he was able to somehow, army crawling, get himself into the house to call 911.

I had other things to blog about, I know I did...but for the life of me I can't remember what they were. It'll come to me.

In the meantime, think good thoughts for my pops. He's in the hospital now until at least Thursday.

Supastar!!!

So, Lordy hasn't posted a review yet...but there are pics out on his Chicagobluesbeat.com website to be seen:

Go check out pics of me and Delores and the boys at Blues Island!

Good times...

*Guest blog by the Jimmer: Opinions expressed here and in any corresponding comments are the personal opinions of the original author, and do not necessarily represent that of the blog owner. So there. This is a GUEST blog written by the Jimmer. Not Rebecca. The Jimmer. Got it? K.

It’s been so long since I started this that I’m not sure where I left off. So, here I go. I’m heading North on Hwy 49 and it’s about 5:45pm. 1 hour and 45 minutes till womanhood. The entire drive I am breathing like a mother prior to birth. Not to mention that I smoked 4 cigarettes during a 15 minute drive. That would be a cigarette every 3 minutes and 45 seconds. I get to the Church – yes, St. Patrick’s Catholic Church – and pop the trunk. I retrieve my dress and wig and head down to the dressing room. I walk in to the dressing room and there are about 7 of the 15 already there getting ready. However, even stranger, all of their wives were there. Now, I’m thinking, I’ve got to put a dress on in front of these ladies? I don’t want them seeing my little package rolled up into a super ball. But then I saw my savior. Oh yes, a wash of relief rolled across my mind. There, in the corner of the room were 4 coolers. I walked over to them and my expectations were confirmed – The Miller Lite, Coors Light and MGD were all whispering Pick Me Pick Me. Naturally, I chose the Miller Lite. I drank that first beer in 7 minutes. Before I knew it, I was standing in front of a mirror brushing my wig and actually worrying about how I looked. After I was satisfied with my hair I began concentrating on my boobs. I blew up two balloons to what I thought was an acceptable size. I would estimate them being somewhere in between Calista Flockhart’s and Rebecca’s. I was not wearing a bra because the dress was so snug so I placed them inside making sure they were not too high up. I then began to glitter my “cleavage.” The glitter got a little out of hand and I think I looked like a disco ball by the time I was done. Mind you, at this point I’ve had 6 or 7 beers and 3 Jager Bombs. Oh, did I mention there was liquor there too? In fact, one of the participants brought his own moonshine, Mason jar and all. I put my pink lipstick on and I was ready to go. However, the event was running way behind because people were running late (attendees) and the ones that were there had congregated around the two bars. So, this meant more time to drink beer. By the time we got ready to go, I asked the Emcee 5 times if my lipstick looked ok. The fifth time he said, “Bitch, your lipstick looks fine!” All in jest of course – I think. Anyhow, the night moved pretty quickly from there. We all walked the runway individually and I really worked it. I was blowing kisses to the crowd and making my “oops did I do that” face. On the walk back to the dressing room tragedy was avoided, barely. I must have started walking a little faster but my heel slipped out of the wedge heels I was wearing and I did that side step thing that people do when they can’t walk in heels. I felt like Sandra Bullock in Miss Congeniality. As for the swimsuit competition, I was saved because I was able to borrow a sarong. I wore Nicole’s bikini and stuffed my balloon ta-ta’s back in. I even sprinkled more glitter for good measure. Went to the mirror and fixed my hair and asked one of the other guys if my lipstick was good. We were then lining back up and I decided I needed one more beer in me, which, I grabbed and drank while waiting for my turn. I guess I was a little quick on the stage because I began walking back before they were finished talking about me. Also, there were a few other guys wearing sarongs and they decided to strip them off and prance around in bikini bottoms. Not yours truly. The sarong stayed firmly tied around my waist. You know, didn’t want to show the little Jim and the twins…

I didn’t win anything but overall it was fun. We rose between $20,000 and $25,000 for the YMCA. Again, it was fun, but I’ll never do it again….Well, not in public anyway.

Jim

5 years of wedded bliss?

Okay, so maybe not every minute of every day is bliss...but we rewarded ourselves anyway.

We celebrated our 5th wedding anniversary at the Herrington Inn & Spa. And lemme tell ya - this place rocks. I mean ROCKS. The room was gorgeous, the bathtub was huge, the champagne was cold. What else could a girl need? Oh, a spa on the floor below ours? Perfect...I'll take it. It's always fun to go somewhere new and have it actually be better than you imagined. Sometimes you look at something on the web and you think "could it possibly be that awesome?" And in this case the answer is yes. Double yes. Triple yes. I highly recommend this for anyone celebrating an anniversary, birthday, or absolutely nothing...just go...now...GO. But make reservations early. The inn only has 61 rooms. We stayed a river premiere room, so we had a view, and that was great. We also had a fireplace, which was nice, and the king size bed was fantastic.

In-room bath you say? YES! The spa delivered the relaxing bath essentials to our door, and it was a great way to start our weekend getaway. The people in the spa were wonderful - I had a body polish...and I'm pretty sure my skin is better than the day I was born. My massage on Sunday morning was just what the doctor ordered, and considering I literally crawled out of bed, into my robe and slippers and hopped the elevator down for my treatment...brilliant. I was greeted with smiles and herbal tea.

The town of Geneva has great shopping...and a winery outlet for the Galena winery. They actually had some great offerings. (and we purchased some of them to share!) I also picked up one of these, because, well, you know I had to have one!

And then when we went down the street to find some Fat Tire, the Savway was having a special 18-hour sale and wine tasting. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?? Who has this kind of luck. We tasted only a few as we did have to drive home and pick up the kids, who were eating my parents out of house and home. I called to check in a couple of times, every time I did Alex was sleeping and Owen was eating. Do you all know what this means? Yep, I'll be buying them both new pants and shoes soon. Damn kids will not stop growing no matter what I do!

We had dinner at Foxfire, and not only was the food yummy, but the service was amazing. My husband and I have been in love with St. Charles for a long time, but now that we've found Geneva? I think we may be looking at weekend getaways there.

How was YOUR weekend?Happy couple after a weekend at the Herrington

Getting in touch with my feminine side, part 1

*ETA: Per Sugar Snap Pea. The following is a guest blog by the Jimmer. I do not possess a "twig and berries", unless you count the set on my husband.

As most of you already know, I did in fact participate in the WomanLESS Beauty Pageant. This was a fundraiser for the Duneland Family YMCA and I’m proud to say that we raised some where between $20,000 and $30,000. I was approached about this approximately 2 months ago because our Father (me, Jbrave, and Eggo) threw me under the bus and nominated me. I didn’t think much of it at the time but Saturday afternoon I was a wreck. There where a couple of times where my girlfriend Nicole that I was going to puke but it was just the nerves. Enough about that stuff though and on to the “meat” of this blog. It was rather interesting preparing to be a woman. I borrowed a cocktail type dress from a woman in our office and it was very tight, black velvet dress; very form fitting if you know what I mean. At 4:30pm, after watching the Irish lose to Navy (oui vey) I jumped into the shower. I then shaved cuz I had day old stubble. I preceded to cut myself a number of times so that wasn’t good. Then, I put on the bikini bottoms. Yes, there was an evening gown portion AND a swimsuit competition. They were so tight on me that there was no room for underwear. (Not that you would wear them with a suit.) I looked at my ass in the mirror and then said to Nicole, “why didn’t you tell me my ass was so big?” She laughed and replied that I was really on my way to being a woman. Then it was time for the panty hose. Yes, I said panty hose. Jet black, Queen Plus. Well, let me tell you that is not an easy thing. It took me every bit of 10 minutes to put those suckers on. Not to mention how tight everything was on my twig and berries…Very tight and very constricting. So, I’ve got these things at my waist and Nicole tells me that they have to go higher. What, what are you talking about? She said that they were control tops. I don’t know even know what that means. Anyhow, I rolled them all the way up and then went up to my nipples. I left them at my waist…Anyhow, it was very difficult turning into a girl. I know have a little taste of what most of you go through on a daily basis.

More to come later about the actual event…
Jim

*sniff* oh honey, look! Our baby is all grown up and doesn't he look so beautiful in drag??

Ahhhhhh, yes, bloggers...this weekend is a very special weekend for none other than our very own JIMMER.

Yes...for charity, the Jimmer will be donning a wig, makeup, ball gown and heels and walking the catwalk. That's right...our baby will be in drag. Isn't just the sweetest thing you've ever heard?? The saddest part is that because I didn't mark the charity event on my calendar, I'm not going to be there...I'll be in Chicago dining on some fabulous food here, and then going to see this. I had a friend say she liked Shear Madness...and then someone else told me it was dreadful. Two very different opinions, from two very different people. I hope it's at least entertaining, or my hubby will kill me. The last time we went to the city, the performance was less than satisfying for him. Oy.

So that means I get to drink great wine, have great conversation, hopefully see a fun show, and stay overnight in an overpriced downtown hotel. YIPPEE. But still, Jimmer will be dressed up like a woman, toes painted, makeup on, wig in place...and I won't be there.

I told him yesterday that there should be before/after pics...and pics of him getting ready, like a bride on her wedding day. He didn't seem to think this was necessary. I clearly need to have a conversation with Nicole.

Jimmer -you know I'll need pics for the blog on this one...I'm just sayin. Do you have a name? A chick name picked out for your debut?? What should his girl name be, bloggers?

Just a couple of nitpicky items...

One...Halloween apparently should be renamed to skankaween. Seriously. Do they even MAKE costumes for little girls anymore? Why in the HELL do they have a French maid costume for 8 year olds? Excuse me? Whodawa? Does it come with fishnets and condoms? I started noticing this last year, when I was looking for a costume for me...that I basically had two choices: sexy_something or medieval looking costume that covered every inch of my body. Nice. Thanks. And now they're doing the same for kids? Bullshit. BULLSHIT.

Two...When the shit is the time change? This weekend coming up or did I miss it. I'd like to think I didn't miss it. But they're really screwing with me here.

Three...Kids clothes. Holy mother. Alex? Alex is easy - he could care less what he wears as long as it fits. Actually...as long as it fits and it's black. Hmmmmm, I wonder where he gets THAT trait? Owen on the other hand is my little clothes hound. Very particular. And right now he needs new jeans. And new shoes. And well, new everything because he won't stop growing no matter what I do. We measure our kids on the laundry room wall. Owen has grown almost 2 inches since March. Oy. I asked him where he wanted to go shopping. The mall. The mall? Yeah...they have cool clothes at the mall. Ummmm, okay. Why in the shit do you know this? The thing about the "cool stores" is that they're really for teens...not for preens or tweens. The one store that did have jeans in his size? Ummmmm, yeah...$60. SIXTY DOLLARS for a pair of jeans he probably won't be wearing in 4 months. I can't do it. I just can't do it. I have no problem spending $60 on a pair of jeans for me. If I wear them like I've worn my other pairs, I'll have them for 5 years easily. That's what, $12 per year? Divided by 365 days in the year...that's....ummm...365 into 12.00...well...pennies a day. PENNIES. But $60 for Owen...can't do it. Same with shoes. He's got high dollar taste when it comes to shoes (hmmm, wonder where he gets THAT?) and I get it. I do. BUT...his feet keep growing, too - and I just can't do it. We solved the jeans problem last night and got him some shirts, and a Colts hoodie which he loves. At least he's reasonable. When I tell him that we just can't afford to buy him things that expensive while he's growing, ultimately he's fine with it. And when we found him some great jeans on sale for $21..."Mom, these are really cool jeans. Why would anyone pay $40 more for jeans?" Yes, dear...that's right. Why?

So today my youngest son left the house in new clothes looking quite spiffy and NOT wearing two different colored socks.

I love the change in the weather.

The kick is up and it's..........NO GOOD!

It's a sad day for us - Alex did not make the pep band. He's fine with it - what we now know is that there are only 5 kids in it, and that they had a lot of drummers audition, but not a lot of guitar players. WHAT? Since when are there too many drummers?? It's always been my experience that there are never enough drummers. Ever. EVER. Especially at this age when parents usually don't want to buy their kids a drum set - don't have the room for it - don't want to listen to it. Although, I think in retrospect, if you talked to my dad, he might have actually preferred the drums to my early clarinet endeavors. Oh how he hated when I would squeak and sqwak my way through various concertos like Mary Had a Little Lamb, Somewhere over the Rainbow and the theme from M*A*S*H (which Julie and I learned all on our own without ANY sheet music. we were truly gifted.)

So anyway - there are 3 seniors and 2 sophomores in this year's ensemble, and Alex is content with garage band 101 and the blues jam for now. There's always next year.

It's report card time, and both boys are doing very well. Alex took it tough at the beginning of the year, but now he's humming right along. I can see all of his grades online, so I already know what to expect there. Kathy and I had a long talk about looking at grades online. She contends, that now, as a parent, she thinks this is brilliant. But as a student? She would hate every minute of it and feel very violated by her parents looking up her every quiz score. I try to use this information for good and not for evil. I think it's been a catalyst for conversation...but I know he hates it that I know his test scores before he does. HA! Sometimes it's GOOD, though - like after his unit test in Bio - he totally nailed it and when I picked him up after school I told him so. Made his night...

Owen did fine - he actually got a B+, something that hasn't happened in like 7 report cards. He was a little bummed to break his all A streak. But he had perfect attendance, so he bounced back. He loves receiving perfect attendance certificates. Don't ask me why. It's just Owen.

The air is cool and crisp, kiddies...
The Sox put a whoopin' on the Rockies last night. Fenway does have magical powers, I think.

Pray for rain in SoCal...

She ran calling wiiiiiiiiildfire...

So Southern California is LITERALLY a hot mess. You can hardly look at any news source and not hear something about the devastating fires out there. On a fortunate note, I think only one fatality and some injuries. How odd to be saying that one fatality is actually a fortunate situation. The people are evacuating. They are listening and getting out.

This morning they interviewed a couple who was in Las Vegas when the fires started. The husband's mother was staying in their house watching their dogs. She's 81. Neighbors came pounding on her door and told her to get out - at this point she could actually see the fire. She called her son to ask him what he wanted her to take. Can you imagine? You can see fire and you actually call your son to see if there's something you can grab before you literally run for your life. His response - NOTHING. Get out. Get out now. This couple, sitting in Vegas while everything they own is going up in smoke, what do you do? Put it all on red and pray?

They had moved into this house 4 years ago - because they were living in the mountains, and the wildfires were getting too out of control up there. They decided to move where they felt it was safer, and now, here they are with nothing. Whatever clothes they took to Vegas, and two dogs. That's it.

So on this topic...if you had enough time to respond...a fire is coming and you have to get out. What do you take? What are the things that are irreplaceable to you? Kids, spouses are a given here. If you're about to lose it all, what do you grab on your way out the door? Your wedding album? A sweater your grandmother knit for you?

I know what's in my heart and my soul tells me to sing

I'm gonna be thankful for this feeling that music brings
Ohhhhh it brings...

WHAT a weekend...what a weekend...I went out to Blues Island with Bob Mandarino and the Undercover Blues Band. What a great place, what a great crowd! Lordy who runs chicagobluesbeat.com was there and took a ton of pictures. Eventually he will also write a review, and I think he'll have good things to say about all of us. He's also going to come out to little Roselawn on Sunday and partake in our Blues Jam, so that will be a blast. IF you live locally, you should all make a point to come down this Sunday, the 28th. Killer Ray will be back, and he puts on one hell of a show! Sunday, 4-8 - be there or be square!

I've had an offer, of sorts...to potentially sing with a new band. A funk, blues, jam type of deal. They think I would be a good fit for them, what we don't know is if they are a good fit for me! They're local, and it could be fun, but who knows. I think I might go and sit it with them for a rehearsal and see what comes up.

So it's very exciting, everything that's happening. I'll keep you all posted!

Still no update

He talked to some girl, who said it should be posted somewhere. Where? Alex has no idea. When? Alex has no idea. He's not the best on information gathering, that one. BUT...his grades are looking good. He has been working his ass off and it shows. I'm so very very proud of him, for so many reasons...

I got him into a class called Garage Band 101 - you get together once a week for 8 weeks and learn as many songs as you can. He's playing with kids younger than he is - the bass player is 11, a 5th grader named Will. One guitar player is 12, the other is 13, and Alex on drums. After 8 weeks of learning what they can, they give a "concert." Should be fun. Alex liked the first session, the kids seem nice, the instructor seems nice. It's a good activity for him...better, maybe, than playing with the "old farts" on Sundays. :)

I'm eating California Roll and fried rice right now for lunch...mmmmmmm...

How is everyone? Where is everyone?

No, no, no...I don't have an update

And believe me, it's killing me WAY more than it's killing you. Oy. I can't take the pressure.

FOOTBALL SEASON IS OVER!!! And I know I shouldn't sound this happy about it but I can't help it. I just can't help it. One less thing to do. Hooray. The game yesterday was pitiful...mentally, our boys never showed up. They had themselves licked before they took the field. What can you do with that? Buncha head cases that team. I knew when MC scored the first touchdown that it was over for us. Rallying is not something our boys do. In any sport. ugh. Instead of getting mad, they get defeated.

Alex jammed again last night - and this time I sang with him. Good times. He really likes going up there, now...and there's so much for him to learn! He watched Steve for a bit, and Steve could tell he was paying attention, because when he got up there to play, he started mimicking some of the stuff Steve was doing. It's all improv and great - I'm so impressed by him. I purposely improved the hell out of some of the songs I sang with him so he could play around. Fun fun fun....

Bears, Bears, Bears...tsk, tsk. How did you let that happen? Oh yeah Adrian Peterson. Your nemesis for the day.

I love Devin Hester...love, love, love watching him play...

Rockstar Alex...

So Alex was practicing for his audition last night...and his laptop has a video camera on it. I tried to catch at least a little bit of him playing. The video isn't great...and he just started playing this song over the weekend...but I think he sounds damn awesome for 5 days of practice on it. (And he's learned 4 songs in that amount of time) Wish him luck...auditions are today from 3-4pm. I've never seen him so excited about something before...

TURN DOWN YOUR SOUND - it's kind of loud.

And now for something completely different...

I want to talk to you all about something very personal to me. So make sure when you comment, that you're nice.

Lunch.

Yeah, that's right, lunch.

I'm struggling these days with lunch. I lost my work-wife to her babies...so I don't have nearly as much excitement over lunch as I used to. So a lot of times, I'm not even really motivated to eat. I'm trying to get the girls in the cubicles outside my office to get on the eating out every day train, but they're just too damn disciplined in bringing in their lunch. Now some might argue that this is a good thing. BLASPHEMY.

I am a chronic lunch eater outer. I try...I really do...to want to bring in leftovers, or bring in some heat-a-meal-with-no-flavor, or pack a sandwich. But...ew. No. I can't do it. I'm surrounded by so much good food here that it's just impossible. I have no will power.

So my struggle is that I'm typically not leaving to get lunch. At all. So apparently instead of choosing a crappy sandwich from home, I choose nothing. And that's just pitiful. I know this. What are you guys doing for lunch? Today I didn't eat. And that's not good. Because right now I'm cranky and starving and it's just too late to go eat. But I want to.

Maybe I'll go next door real fast and grab something from KFC. Ew.

Guess what city will NOT be getting the Olympic games?

Three guesses...

If you said Chicago...you'd be right. They made a nice pretty audition tape. They were a big success when the Olympic Committee came...but what they forgot is that the OC is always watching. And this tragic Chicago marathon? Yeah...that's a pretty big test to fail. Especially since the marathon has been going on for 30 years. If they can't successfully hold an event they've been holding for 30 years...how can they possibly handle the international onslaught of the Olympics?

They ran out of water. Emergency medical personnel couldn't keep up. This cannot look good for our fair city to the OC.

So who's fault is it? Kevin says it's the runners fault. They shouldn't have run it. They should have known better.

I disagree. After talking with Jen - she says that she had the run of her life. She was posting great times at the markers and felt the best she's ever felt. She took it easy at the beginning and paced herself nicely, taking necessary breaks, pumping her fluids. HAD THEY NOT RUN OUT OF WATER, she would have had a strong finish, too. Luckily she and her running partner had people to bring them more fluids. Others were not so lucky.

I think these athletes train under these very conditions and know their limitations. I don't think anyone enters a marathon thinking it will be easy, or not taking it seriously. These people train for months...years...and the city of Chicago let them down. I'm not blaming them for everything, they can't control the weather. But they knew it was going to be hot, they should have been more prepared. Handing out ice to runners finishing the race? They did it wrong.

I'm sure Jimmer is going to have something to say about this one - he'll side with my hubby. And that's fine too...what do you all think?

I have so many rockstars in my life!

Seriously!

First - Alex is sooooooo cool! He got up yesterday at the Sunday Blues Jam and totally played the hell out of that drum set. The first song he seemed scared to death, but by the third song, he had totally and literally found his rhythm. I was so proud. His dad was there, too...so that was fun. Kevin and Ben both sitting in the front row, taking pictures with camera phones...I almost cried. I've been telling Kevin over and over how good Alex is...and now he knows I'm right. I mean, I know I'm his mom, but people, he was really, REALLY good. REALLY good. Can you feel me beaming?

Second - Jen finished the dreaded Chicago Marathon! Total rockstar!!! Even when they were telling them to stop running, and they were...like every 2/10 mile. She and her running partner had family members bring them water and gatorade and she finished. I got the report from her mom, who said Jen was amazing and feeling great. What a great personal victory for her! Everyone should be very proud.

Owen's team lost a tough one to an undefeated team yesterday. I was so proud of all of those boys. The team was bigger, and therefore could switch out full offense and defense. Our kids mostly play both sides of the ball...so our quarterback, runningbacks, and most of the offensive line are also playing defense, they never get a break. We were winning 7-6 until the 3rd quarter and then...well our little engine that could ran out of steam. We were absolutely not out-played...we held them so many times but couldn't get ourselves to the goal line. The other teams always creamed the opponent by 20 or more points...so the fact that we lost by only 2 touchdowns and never let them score an extra point speaks volumes about the heart of our boys.

So I'm a very proud mama and friend today. Happy Monday to all!

Before you bash Dan Rather...

You may want to get it all straight. Until I read this from the Huffington Post, I hadn't truly digested how BAD our TV and written news really is. There's a reason we're seeing so much Anna Nicole, Brittney, Lindsay, Paris bullshit. The corporate media has done that intentionally. INTENTIONALLY. Have you never wondered why we've never seen this much fluff/pop/hollywood shit in our newscycles before? Because corporate media didn't want to rattle the GOP political machine by reporting actual news...because reporting the actual news meant reporting the war...and reporting the war meant telling the truth that Bush shang-hai'd us into Iraq because there wasn't any reason for us to go there.

I've read a lot of articles, in fact, about how there really IS no investigative journalism anymore. Have you seen any? Aside from the "to catch a pedophile" series, if you can even call that investigative journalism. Have you? And the lead-in bullshit? And the fluff. Ugh.

Even if you don't agree with why the media has changed, you all have to agree that it has, in fact, changed and changed for the worst. And for someone as celebrated and talented as Dan Rather to be the fall guy? Well, that says an awful lot about how bad it truly is. Speak on and speak out, Mr. Rather.

Anyway, the article is very interesting, so I wanted to share.

No need for organized streaking protest...

And I think the Janet was even going to join in...

The expulsion hearing reinstated our thong boy. Thank heavens. The administration recommended expulsion, but the board decided against it. Smart board.

I have a couple of things to talk about today.

One - Asparagus. No, not the vegetable, the restaurant. It's an upscale thai/vietnamese restaurant in Mville. HOLY CRAP. You must all come. Find a way. Make it happen. Girls - we must plan a girls dinner there. The cocktails are fun. The menu is to die for. Sample:
"asparagus beef lover: beef tenderloin marinated in our exclusive steak sauce, grilled asparagus, premium japanese soy sauce and stir-fried thai basil mixed vegetables along with brown rice."

Ummmm, YUMM-O.

Two - Gamba. Stop everything you're doing and go there immediately. Ever been to Cafe Venezia? Venezia Bar & Grill? Same guy. We ate there last night for the Janet's birthday dinner. It was brilliant...BRILLIANT. Not a cheap date, but the food was well worth it. Everything was yummy, yummy, yummy.

Grab an eating buddy an head out. That's an order.

Honey, Let's Never Pass Out Angry Again

Men vs. Women sterilization...it's a double standard

So this morning on the Today show, they did a whole segment...two segments actually on young men in their 20's getting vasectomies. Men who have no children, no spouse...who maybe want to get married someday but definitely don't want to have kids.

Did the doctor try to talk him out of it? No. Urologists gave him no resistance. Did family members? Maybe. But my point is this. If a 28 year old woman with no kids, no spouse walked into her OBGYN and told them that she wanted a tubal ligation, the doctor would talk her out of it. Most won't even consider it. I know people who have been turned down even after the woman has had kids. My sister-in-law being one of them. I did a little research on the net and they say that only 1/3 of young women who ask for tubal ligations actually get them. And that's only because they go to several doctors. SEVERAL. The attitude of the medical community is that "they'll regret it" - but do they share that same sentiment with the men?

If a young girl wants a boob job, a tattoo...these are "permanent" procedures that can be reversed, yes? So why all the shit about getting your tubes tied?

Thoughts? Do you know someone who was talked out of their tubal by their doctor? Family? Friends?


Article on women denied TL

Ummmm, overboard anyone??

What in the FUCK is happening in Chesterton? Have they lost their DAMN minds? Seriously? Expelling a kid because he ran across a football field in a thong?

And just so we understand why I'm so pissed - he could have beat the shit out of someone...which, by the way, is a CRIME called battery, and they would have suspended him for 3 days, but not expelled him.

And the choir members who HAZED other choir members with BODILY FLUIDS - they were suspended, not expelled. The fact that they only use the words bodily fluids when they talk about it tells me it wasn't saliva...they would have said saliva, I think, so I'm speculating it was urine or something worse. And that, too, is a CRIME called battery.

But this boy, who didn't hurt anyone, wasn't naked, committed NO crime, not even indecent exposure because he was covered with a thong, was expelled for the remainder of the school year. It's the most ludicrous thing I've ever heard.

If he had just run across the field, fully clothed, would they have even punished him? Probably not. So the issue isn't the running on the field, it's his state of dress. What if he had worn shorts? What then? It makes me want to organize a team of streakers for the next home game in various states of dress.

Idiots. I'm sorry, but when a kid pulling a stupid prank gets the same treatment as someone caught doing drugs in school? I think the administration needs to re-evaluate their punishment criteria. I'm embarrassed to be a Chesterton alum today.

Pre-expulsion article
Article in the Muncie Star

It was the strangest thing...

Owen came home from school yesterday complaining that his hands were itching, and itching badly. Not the back, the palms. And the top of his feet...which I blamed on the socks. :)

I got home and gave him some liquid benadryl and the itching stopped...but at 10:30pm it was back with a vengeance. His nose was running uncontrollably, eyes were watering, palms were itching and then his eyes started welting up and he got a rash on his nose. It was so weird....

After another dose of benadryl he was finally able to fall asleep after midnight - getting up this morning was rough to say the very least. We have no idea what caused it. He didn't eat or do anything out of the ordinary. I've been emailing his teacher today and she said he seems fine.

???

So what gives. Kevin thinks it's a spider bite reaction...I'm not so convinced. What do you guys think. He's fine today - got up, took a shower...no itching, no swelling. He did get quite a few mosquito bites the other day at practice???

Teenagers suck

You know what? Teenagers suck. I thought I had this nice kid, right? Yeah, notsomuch. He's a moody smartass little shit. I can see his grades online. And in a couple of classes, he's not doing so hot. So I'm trying to help him stay on top of things. The result of this not-so-gentle-nudging? Rolling of the eyes, gritting of the teeth, general malcontent. I hate it. He tells me yesterday that he has a timed essay in English today. And that the teacher gave them examples and ideas and all sorts of stuff so that they can basically do a really great job...IF they prepare. IF they apply themselves.

He didn't even bring his literature book home. He didn't plan on preparing anything. I made him sit down last night and roughly outline what he might write today, so he wouldn't walk in completely unprepared. You would have thought I asked him to copy the dictionary. Seriously? It's not hard. BE PREPARED! You were a Scout once...figure it out.

grrrrrr.

Me & Killer Ray...

I need Julie to come down and start taking decent pictures. It's so hard when the place is kinda dark for my little camera to figure out what to do. Words cannot describe how much fun I was having in this picture.

Singing is truly good for the soul...

Cousin Dave said it best - "I can sit here and listen to the blues for hours, and I still feel better than when I got here." And it's true. And no, Cousin Dave is not my cousin. He's Laura's cousin, and she's always called him Cousin Dave or Cousin David, so I do, too. What I've found out jamming with a lot of different blues musicians these past few weeks is that EVERYONE calls him Cousin Dave. You'll know him if you see him - with his long gray beard and his overalls - and of course that amazingly wonderful guitar playing.

I was burnt out yesterday, I was tired, I was busy...and then a phone call from a friend saying she and her hubby were going to Bozley's. Well, since I had been bugging them to go, I couldn't ditch them. There I am in my ball cap with hat head and my Spartans football shirt, a hot sweaty mess from the day. No matter - it's the blues, no one cares what you're wearing. Killer Ray Allison was there...former drummer for every famous blues musician you can think of, and now he's a frontman for his own band. Unbelievable. Un-be-fucking-lievable. Words cannot describe the energy in that room yesterday. I wish you all were there. I recognized a riff he was playing, and where I got the balls I don't know, but I jumped up, grabbed the mic, joined him on the bridge and sang for the next 30 minutes. It was awesome!!! Luckily Kevin had the camera - got some shots while I was singing and thenI had my picture taken with Killer Ray after the set.

Darren - are you out there?? Schedule yourself to be in Merrillville some Monday coming up so you can come down with Jon and Laura on Sunday!! Steve, the drummer, has been bringing all of his friends (i.e. John Primer and Killer Ray) and he says he's bringing in someone fantastic for Sunday October 7th. I'll get more details out of Steve next weekend, but for now - anyone and everyone who can make it down on that day should certainly try!

I have the blues and I feel so.damn.good.

It's an interesting topic, let's go with it.

Julie commented on the last entry about the inappropriateness of advertising during the primetime "family" time television hours. Now, I have to say, especially lately, my family isn't watching TV during these hours. Football, laundry, yardwork...we've been DVR-ing a lot of stuff which means the ads are a blur for us.

Everyone seems to agree that the drunk driving commercial is really bad. I haven't seen it, so I can't actually comment on it directly, but from what you guys are saying, it sounds horrible. It's kind of like the feeling I had when I saw the anti-smoking ad where they had women carved out of ice with little baby dolls in their see-through ice bellies. The ice would melt, and the babies would fall onto the pavement. They did this demonstration in a busy part of some city. I just remember thinking that it was a bizarre/graphic way to send a message. I get it, don't smoke when you're pregnant, but WTF? And like Jimmer said in the previous post, I guess it did resonate and get the message across. But does it have to come to that? The "shock-value" that seems to be so prevalent in our culture?

I saw the drunk driving ad where they show different men driving around in cars that are full of whatever booze they got drunk on. I laughed out loud when the "martini" guy started eating the olives floating around the car. But the impression I was left with? Why were they all men? A guy driving a car full of beer, a guy driving a car full of martini, a guy driving a car full of wine...women don't drink and drive? I just thought it was just strange for it to be so gender specific.

A big bitch with me is the ED drugs advertised during sports. Not one single commercial break doesn't include me having to hear about someone's inability to get it up. Do they really think that there's anyone who doesn't know about Cialis, Viagra, et al? And lets face it, the ads aren't doing anything - it's the pharm reps who are pushing this stuff on the docs who are pushing it to the patients that are actually getting the product out and sold, so what's the point? Does a guy really sit there during Sunday football and see that commercial and think "Wow, I would love to be taking a bath with my wife right now so we can get it on, maybe I'll call my doctor tomorrow about Cialis." Asshats.

And how about the sex in films, and more specifically their trailers. If there was a trailer that included, say...Vin Diesel. And Vin Diesel goes to shut his car door and walk away and the door rips his pants off and he's standing there in a pair of whitey tighties and instantly puts his hands over his privates and runs behind the car - is that offensive? Why or why not? Why are Rated R films even advertised during family primetime? And how about shows like Two and a Half Men, which I enjoy - and it's in primetime family show time - and it's completely based on sex. I really don't even like Owen watching it to be honest with you all. And usually Kevin's good about censoring that stuff - so if it's an explicit ep, Owen gets the boot or we watch something else.

One of the acne medicines recently came under fire for being too racy. I can't remember which one. One of the ads showed a teenage boy come into his friend's house, the friend goes out of the picture and the boy says to the mom "it must be really lonely since your husband left. *pause, stare* I'm really good company" The ad's point? "May cause confidence" This ad? I find hilarious and completely harmless. I am in the minority apparently. There was a whole movie based on this - it's called The Graduate. And a hit record "Stacy's mom." The concept of the MILF isn't foreign to most teen boys and let's face it, there's not a whole lot we can do about teen boys lusting after their friend's moms. Is the acne company wrong for using that in an ad?

And my last complaint - pants with words like "cute" or "hot stuff" written across the ass for CHILDREN. Ummmm, no. No. no. no. no. no. Why? Why on earth would any mother buy pants for her 10-year-old DAUGHTER with something written on the ass? Why don't you just make it say "please look here" - it's inappropriate at any age, I think, but especially for young girls.

Where are you guys with sex in the media...

Is that a sock in your backpack or are you just happy to see me?

Owen strikes again.

Seriously.

Last Friday night, Tigger was at my house and for some reason I was going through Owen's backpack. I pull out the standard stack of crap 2 inches thick of graded homework and handouts from school, and then...then I pull out a sock. Not just any sock. An orange baseball/football sock. So it's not only orange, it's the kind you can pull up to your knee. And then a blue one. And then a green one. One of each color. Ummmmm, whodawa? We were confused to say the very least. What on earth is the child doing with 3 mismatched socks in his bag.

So the next morning, I ask him.

Me: Hey Owen, what's with the socks in your backpack?
O: What? (typical response to a question that he doesn't want to answer)
M: You heard me - why do you have 3 socks in your backpack?
O: Oh, that. *big cheesy grin*
M: Oh my - what are you doing with the socks?
O: Wearing them.
M: Wearing them?
O: Yeah, I'm wearing them in school.
M: You're wearing mismatched knee-high socks in school?
O: Yeah.
M: With shorts?
O: Yeah. Me and Brandon.
M: In school? During school? You're wearing your football socks...two different colored football socks in school? With your chucks?
O: Yep.
M: Your chucks fit you with those big thick socks on?
O: Well, they're kinda tight, but yeah.

OMG. Seriously? Seriously. Killing me. I was laughing so hard. The thought of the sight of my son walking the halls his school wearing under armor (lives in it) a pair of the nylon athletic shorts (all he wants to wear) and his football socks, pulled up to his knees, with his blue chuck taylors. And not just that - but he's putting them on when he gets on the bus, and taking them off on the way home so we don't see him do it.

Killing me. Killing me and cracking me up all at the same time. I didn't tell him to stop. I could really care less...and it seems to amuse him. No harm, but seriously? Hilarious. I wonder what his teacher thinks?

Gametime beer...

Julie posed this question in the last post, and I'm going with it. What's YOUR favorite gametime beer. Now I realize that most of you out here are not the football fans that I am. I can't help myself. I am the man in my family where this is concerned. I can watch football all day Saturday, Sunday and Monday night. I LOVE football. And when watching said football, I usually do partake in a few adult beverages. But not just any adult beverage, it has to be beer. I'm not sitting there with a nice Chardonnay cheering on Big Ben. I'm not whipping up my new favorite coco lime rickey on Monday nights...

BEER. Beer and football. Beer and football like peas and carrots. Liver and Onions. Cagney and Lacey, Britney and hot mess.

Now Julie might say that I'm a beer snob. Because, well, I prefer my beer in a bottle. And typically I'm a Coors Light girl as well. But here lately, the hubby has been willing to experiment with imports and microbrews, something he wouldn't ever do before...and I'm more than willing to jump on this bandwagon. They're usually not something I can drink too many of, however...and not just because they're more expensive. They're heavier. They taste okay if they warm up a little (unlike CL that I feel like I have to drink quickly or put in a cosi because it tastes like piss water when it gets warm).

Lately I've been drinking St. Pauli Girl, Bass (I've always loved Bass), New Castle (this is a new fave), and Goose Island Honker's Ale. Now maybe I have one or two of those and switch off to CL or water during the game. What other imports/microbrews should I be trying? I know Tigger swears by the Summer Shandy...and of course if I can get my hands on it I'll choose Yuengling over ANYTHING else, but alas, they won't distribute west of Ohio...*sniff*.

I can't believe Julie has switched! She's been a loyal Miller Lite girl as far back as I can remember. And your dedication to C.I.G (Cheapness is Greatness) couldn't have been THAT loyal, Jul - you weren't buying Old Style or PBR just because it was cheaper. Standards are good.

And an off-topic bitch - last night there was some special on about Elvis. FIRST - how much work HAS Priscilla Presley had done. Seriously? She looks like a caricature of her former self. She was gorgeous back in the day. Now? She looks like Michael Jackson. SECOND - why oh WHY does country music think they know Elvis better than anyone? Performer after performer got up to sing their favorite Elvis tune and they were all country stars. Ummm...because of MEMPHIS?? Please. Elvis is not just the king, he's the king of ROCK-N-ROLL, not country. Location does not a country star make. That's part of what made Elvis so great - he was in the South, took standard R&B and brought it smack into the faces of white America. It was brilliant. And now I have to listen to Faith Hill, Toby Keith and someone please gag me Melinda Lambert singing Elvis tunes on primetime??? Really ABC? Oh wait, there was Beyonce. And the rap guys, something Mafia, they won an Oscar. Any way...really? ABC...you can't tap Buddy Guy? Or Derek Trucks? Or his lovely wife Susan Tedeschi? How 'bout some R&B greats both current and classic? If there were 10 performances last night 8 of them were country stars. And I use that term loosely.

Just my rant for the day...what's yours?

Not sure what I'm doing, really

Okay, so Laura turned me on to this Animoto website, and they created this video, which is pretty fun, but I can't figure out how to post the vid and post a blurb about the vid. Hmmm. Still playing.

This weekend: Alex got to reunite with friends, good times. He's doing very well in school now, as I can see all of his grades online.

Owen got to be a running back, in addition to a middle lineman on defense and still the kicker. He had a great game on Sunday. Spartans beat the Mville Pirates - HOORAY! We're 3-1.

I sang my ASS off last night, people. If you haven't been to the Sunday Blues Jam in my hometown, get down here! What are you waiting for?? This is shaping up to be a fun regular gig for me. What will come of it? Who knows...maybe something. Maybe something really fun.

Playing with animoto

Good morning bloggers!

And a fine Wednesday it is. Apparently we all feel very strongly about public grooming. The nerve of some people. I can remember Kathy wanting to light herself on fire back in the days of cubicle hell. Now she has a cushy office and doesn't have to worry about those sorts of things. Seriously? Clipping your toenails at work? Jul - remember Mr. Balon in 5th grade?? Ewwwwwwwwwww. INAPPROPRIATE!

Speaking of toes, what does it say about me that I've lost 4 toenails in the last 6 weeks? I mean, two of them I had clearly smashed, as they were black and blue...so I expected them to fall off. But the other two? A complete shocker. It's very strange and makes me unpedicurable for awhile. Very depressing, because I really want one.

There's not a whole lot of excitement for me right now, kids...I'm glad the weather is cooling off. I'm in the mood to make chili and soup and stew...how bout you? Any good crock pot recipes to pass my way?

Congratulations Eileen on your new job. Sounds perfect for you AND I've posted her latest blog entry for the News Review...so read it, people!

Hodge podge of information...

First - Alex finally got a good haircut!! One would think this wouldn't be worth noting, but believe me, it is. The last one was so atrocious we contemplated shaving his head and starting over. The boy has some cowlicks, and I know this can be problematic, but seriously people? Don't hairdressers learn about ways to overcome this? We've tried stylists, barbers...the works. We got a great haircut for him in the spring at a barber in Crown Point, but when we went back, some chick was there, not the older gentleman that had cut his hair before...and she was the one who botched it all up.

We went to the local BoRics, and I was just hoping for improvement. WELL, they had a BARBER there...and his name was, and I'm not making this up...FLOYD. Yeah, I said it, Alex had his hair cut by Floyd the barber. This dude was a storehouse of useless and useful information about hair and skin and all sorts of things. He gave Alex a great hair cut AND sold us some special shampoo and conditioner especially for *ahem* boys of a certain age who's voice is cracking and skin is reacting to all sorts of testosterone. The stuff wasn't very expensive AND Floyd told him to wash his face with it as well. We noticed a marked improvement already in his trouble spots (forehead, nose, chin). Alex of little words was excited not to be the breakout king of Chicago, and when we left he said "Well, I feel like I learned something." We'll definitely be going back.

Second tidbit - I slow-cooked spareribs in the crock pot yesterday. Can I just say Yummmy!!! They were literally falling off the bone when I took them out, and I lathered them up with BBQ sauce and threw them onto the grill for a bit. I have never, ever been able to cook ribs so that they are actually tender when you eat them. I've tried boiling, baking, dry rubbing...you name it. THIS method given to me by my friend Holly was a knock-it-out-of-the-park success. AND it's crock pot, which means I can do it during the week. Hooray!

Third tidbit - I couldn't sleep last night - and I was watching all sorts of stupidity on television after 11pm which is hereby known as "informercial time." I saw the most disturbing thing...Tater Mitts. Rubber gloves with some sort of rough stuff on the palm side, and you just hold a potato under water, rub it with the gloves and voila! You have peeled a potato in 8 seconds. It was so bizarre, I almost ordered them. "Peeling potatoes can take forever. Oh NO! Not with a knife that's dangerous!" Seriously? Who wrote this copy???

I was a huge lump after downing half a slab with scalloped potatoes and peas, so I rested my full belly on the sofa for Monday night football. It was also the season finale of The Closer AND My Boys, which they left us on a cliffhanger AGAIN! I love that show!

I'm still trying to get organized. I did buy new towels for my bathroom and Kevin's bathroom. Now I just have to buy paint for him and we'll be all set there. Time for the yellow to go away. Worst color decision I've made since wearing neon in the 80's.

Hey now you're a rockstar...

Get the show on, get paid...

So...I think I'm getting back in the game, kids. After my little ditty at the blues jam last weekend, I have been asked to sing, not only at the blues jam, but with a blues band on a regular basis. Details coming, details coming. Having never been a blues singer, per say, this is new territory for me. It's very exciting, and very fun.

Last night John Primer was in the house...a living legend to be sure...and absolutely amazing to watch. Watching him play was like breathing, just so natural. It was like taking a step back in time. I could listen to him all day. In fact, I am! But then...then I got to SING with him. Unbelievable. Remarkable, really. Luckily the hubby took pictures, albeit not very good ones. But pics nonetheless.

Also today - Owen is a kicker! Yeah, that's right, he's now officially on the field all the time. He only had to kick twice yesterday - the first one, notsogood. The second one?? Blasted it baby. Easily 30 yards, and with the bounce? The other team had no chance. And it was right after the coach of the other team told his kids to "Move up!! He's not going to kick it that far!!!" HA! Screw you coach-man...he skied your boys!!!

Aaaaaaaand, along those lines...what up Bears fans?? Hmmmmm? Yeah, Colts win big...Steelers win big with their new coach (can we say 109 yards, Willie Parker...I think we can!!) And did the Bears even show up? (oooooooh, that oughta getta rise outta you bloggers...) Grossman is our quarterback, Grossman is our quarterback...keep saying it and maybe you can all make it true. Until then, Mr. 12 for 23 appears to be delivering what I've always said he can deliver...

Big Ben looked good, though, didn't he Carol???

Are you ready for some football????

GAH!

I've been busy, how 'bout YOU?

So I pick Alex up from school yesterday, chat about the day - what homework he has, if he got anything back graded...general chit-chat. He makes the announcement "I think I'm on a first name basis with the people I've been eating lunch with." Excellent. He said he's been sitting with roughly the same people every day, but when I asked for their names, he had no idea. Not the award-winning conversationalist, my son...BUT he's making an effort, which is all I can ask. He says he thinks that some of them even know his name - excellent.

I was surprised by my own worry about him starting this new school, this high school, where he knew no one. Trinity was small. It was such a family feel. When there are only 14 kids in the whole 8th grade, you sorta HAVE to get along. You spend so many hours with the same 14 people, and you're bound to talk, you're bound to know names...and the teachers there were so great. Hell, they come to your HOUSE for a "hey the school year is starting let's meet" deal. They want to know you, they want to know your family.

I was worried...real worried, that my little hermit crab would crawl back into his shell. He has really changed as a person over the last two years...and Trinity was a big part of that transformation. I think being in that small setting really worked for him, helped him gain confidence, helped him grow into this teenage dude that I truly can't believe is my little baby with the blonde, blonde hair. Lots of people have seen this transformation and comment on it. He actually participates rather than runs from conversation.

So it's looking like my boy is making friends in his new environment...keeping up with his studies...participating in some stuff.

I'm so damn happy...

AAAAAAANNNNNNND - I'm not sure if she's still out there lurking every now and again...but a big birthday shout-out to TIFF-TERRIFF!! Happy Birthday, Tiffany - miss your face.

It was a busy weekend, it was a lazy weekend...

All rolled into one. I felt like we all got a lot done...and yet there was plenty of downtime, too.

First, I got my new car. Hooray! It's fabulous and I love it like I would marry it. Went to the Andrean football game on Friday night - it was a great game sitting on our side...notsomuch for East Chicago...a bit of a blowout.

Saturday found me running kids around and going to G-man's birthday party. It's so fun to see the little ones so excited. He was clearly having a good time, playing with his cousins, eating chips and cake, getting new toys. You know...the things the best birthdays are made of.

Then it was time for another party - my girlfriend Sandi's 40th birthday...surprise party at that. In the end, it was perfect. We got to surprise our friend (there were 14 of us all together), eat pizza, drink beer and then go bowling. We bowled Scotch doubles - which does not include any drinking of Scotch, thank heavens, because I've never been a Scotch drinker. It involves partnering up with your spouse, one of you bowls the first ball, and your partner picks up what's left. It was a great time - the bowling alley was practically empty, which was good because we were pretty loud. The highlight? Forgive me Cinde - but you did take quite a spill. She literally sailed down the lane on her ass. I'm not quite sure how it happened...but while it was happening it was like it was in slow motion...she was up, she was down, she was halfway up, she was down again and sliding. She had a horrible oil mark on her ass from the lane, too, poor thing.

I fell, too - my foot stuck, again...I think I need new shoes. I slicked 'em up and I was good for the night.

Then it was off to a local bar for some blues. Same band we saw at Hayden's pre-school fundraiser in May. Buncha kids, really - I think the bass player is 16 - but there's a lot of talent there, they cover a lot of great blues and have some originals that are great as well. We danced and drank some cocktails...it was a good time. We were still home by midnight, I think, so that wasn't too bad.

Sunday was Pop Warner football game - we won 35-6, I think - something like that...I have no idea. Owen had some good things happening for him...it was a fun game to watch. Then Kev-head and I went back to the local gin joint for the Sunday Blues Jam. It was so awesome! All of the players were great - I got up and sang a couple of tracks and got to sing with Cousin David. LOVE Cousin David. Such a talented guy...I'm going back on Friday night to hopefully sit in with Wally World and definitely going back on Sunday for the Jam. Taking the kids this time...hopefully we can get Alex up there to play drums sometime. I'm going to give him some blues stuff to work on, I know he's capable, I just don't know if he's ready.

Monday found us catching up on housework, watching movies, watching tennis...nothing really special. Got to take the bike out for awhile - that was nice. Perfect day for riding...not too hot...Busy week this week even though it's only 4 day work week. It's Tuesday, right? Gotta get my days straight...

How was your holiday weekend?