It's my party and I'll....

drink if I want to
drink if I want to
drink if I waaaaant to
You would drink, too, if it happened to you...

oh my oh my...what a fun 4th of July. We threw together a last minute holiday party for Tuesday night since none of us had to work on Wednesday. It started with inviting one other family over - and that turned into inviting all of the coaches from the all-stars team and their families over - and THAT turned into inviting the other families that we usually hang out with in RL...and then of course, I had to call Julie...all together, with kids...9 families, 35 people. 35people for a last minute, planned on Monday night at 8pm after practice, get together. We had food, we had booze, we had fireworks. We had kids playing ball in the yard (with16 kids, we practically had two complete teams), we had kids jumping in and out of the pool, into the hot tub and back into the pool.

On Tuesday someone here at the office said "the last minute parties are the best" - and I think they're right! The guys never left the deck. They just kept pulling more chairs around the table out there - it's supposed to seat 5 - there were 9 of them, and their coolers. The women took over the inside main level. We ate in the living room, we drank in the kitchen - and then someone decided we should play a game. "Do you have any games?" Sue asked. Ummmm, yeah - and then I unleashed the game closet. "You have an impressive collection of games" said Cinde. Yes - let's play! We chose Outburst - and while there are updated versions of this game, our version is circa 1986 - ummmm, that's 2 decades of outdated material. Hilarious. One of the topics was "Brands of Coffee" - and it was hysterical that all of the brands we named (Starbuck's, 8 o'clock, Seattle's Best) didn't make the list, of course - but my answer of Sanka was there as well as Brim and Nescafe...seriously - BRIM??? Hilarious. By this time the drinks were flowing as were the shots of cherry pucker. Yeah, you read that right - we were doing SHOTS of PUCKER. What are we? 19? F-ing brilliant. And this game involved shouting - so there we are, 9 women around a table drinking and shouting. Our children would come upstairs for snacks holding their ears, because let's just say it sounded like there were more than 9 of us by the time that sound bounced off the hardwood floors, the walls and the sliding glass doors with nothing to absorb it. And we all like to talk. And yell. And laugh. We had to impose a "no one under the age of 21 in the dining room" rule - because we also all tend to be a bit vulgar. WHAT? Shocking!!

And then there were fireworks. Chris was all upset because he didn't feel like he bought enough. I don't know what he was thinking, because they put on quite a show! And we didn't have to leave the house! Another round of cocktails for all my men!

Then it was into the hot tub for the ladies.....and just when our conversation turned VERY adult-only - we find out that some of the kids were on the other side of the wall spying on us. Holy mother - I will not tell you what we were discussing (it wasn't horrible, it wasn't even about sex - it was just plain not suited for children) - of all the times for them to spy, it had to be then? The amount of damage control that came afterwards was staggering. We're still emailing about it. Oy.

It was a grand time - I got an ab workout from laughing so hard. Yesterday was more low key, with people returning to the house to pick up left chairs, left food containers, forgotten shoes and clothing, cars...you know...the usual. :) Julie and Chris and H spent the day at their "vacation house" in the pool and playing in the yard.

So happy birthday America - I love you like I would marry you.

This shit has gone too far...

And no, I'm not talking about the commuting of the sentence of Scooter jackass Libby...

I'm talking about ...

The man room. Have I talked to you guys about the man room? I looked through the blog and didn't see anything, so I'm not sure.

The man room started innocently enough. My husband wanted to build a side room in the barn for his bike. Someplace out of the way for winter storage. He doesn't like storing it in the garage because people come in and out, kids come in and out, cats come in and out - he didn't want his baby to be abused. Completely understandable. Build your little motorcycle room, I said, but it better not cost me a mint. No, no, no, he said - I've got some wood leftover from other things, some paint left over from other projects...it won't cost a THING. Are you hearing me people? Not a thing. Who is buying this load of malarky? No one? Yeah, I didn't think so.

What this has become is something else entirely. What it has become isn't a motorcycle room. It's a man room. Julie referred to it as the masturbatorium. The phrase stuck.

What it became is a pet project for Kevin and the kids. They all built it...walls, doors, the works. Male bonding. It has a window air conditioning unit - but NO WINDOW. It has CARPET - which of course he bought. It has a refrigerator for "man room beer" that I am not allowed to drink, which materialized from who knows where. It has it's own cooler. It has the old broken chair from the basement that rubbed a groove in my drywall - it has a desk with his Harley lamp, which he bought. It has street signs and work signs all over the walls and ceiling. His fishing poles are mounted in this room, for which he bought a special rack. This is the home for the "inappropriate" calendars, signs, decorations...it has a clock that looks like a tire. It has special camping chairs, which he bought. Supposedly his guns will be mounted in this room, and I've made it clear that they must be locked up if they're going to be mounted anywhere - which means there's something more to buy.

Last weekend Alex and Kevin were in the barn working on heaven knows what and I couldn't find them...there they were, in the man room, with the AC on, reading magazines. Seriously? 3600 square feet of house and there they are sitting in a gray, windowless room in the barn. WHAT? I do not understand this concept. But, I guess I'm not a man.

And now, now he's gone too far. I came home and checked my bank account to see what's cleared, where we are after the weekend and I notice a $45 charge at Joey's Wallpaper World. Ummmm, what? Whodowa? So I call the husband - and sure enough - he spent that $45...on a wallpaper border...for the man room. You know, the room that wasn't supposed to cost me anything? I don't have window treatments in my living room and you just spend $45 on a wallpaper border for a room IN THE FUCKING BARN??? Holy mother - redick - ridiculous. Of course it's a motorcycle border - which makes it what? Cool? Agggggh.

A part of me thinks I should be grateful...at least he's not trying to pull this shit in the house. That ugly-ass, noisy-ass Harley lamp WAS in my BEDROOM for crap's sake. Eww. No. I did not faux finish my bedroom walls to have a Harley lamp sitting on the bedside table. No.

Every man who comes to the house thinks this room is a stroke of genius, and it's yet another thing for the future wives of my sons to be pissed at me for - they will forever think that it's completely normal and expected to have a man room. I'm so sorry future wives, I'll mix the cocktails and try to explain it to you - maybe by then I'll have it figured out.

Holiday World - a world all it's own...

So this weekend found me in Owensboro, KY, Santa Claus, IN and Evansville, IN. It was a whirlwind trip. We had a very nice visit with the Adams family. (No, not the Addams family...)

Saturday was our trip to Holiday World. What a great little park!
The good:
The amenities include free soda, free sunscreen and cell-phone wristbands for kids. Seriously - they have beverage stations set up all over the park - you can swing into one at any time and get a fountain drink of your favorite pepsi product. Eileen - I so thought of you and your DP habit! My drink of choice that day was pink lemonade - I think I drank a gallon! Jen took advantage of the free sunscreen oasis - what a great idea that park has. And the cell phone wristband? Brilliant - you can write your cell # on a band and attach it to your kids. If you get separated and they ask for help - someone can call you. LOVE this idea.

Parking is free.

I got lunch for $6. We ate at the Alamo and I got a 2 taco and burrito combo and it was $6. And it came with a cookie!! At the end of the night we stopped in the Plymouth Rock Cafe in Thanksgiving town and had the best rotisserie chicken EVER. The flippin' meal there is only $7, too - seriously - LOVE this place.

The average temp of the water in the waterpark is 88 degrees. YES!

No smoking in the park...they have designated smoking sections.

It's so damn clean!

The bad:
I couldn't walk around in my bikini top and daisy dukes. HA! Yeah right. But seriously, they do require a shirt over your bathing suit top if that's the way you roll.

The bad, for real:
The roller coasters are wooden. I'm pretty sure they should have a team of chiropractors and/or acupuncturists at the exit of these rides. Beat up - I was beat.up. After riding each of these one time, I think it might have actually re-aligned my c-spine - so I stopped. Call me a roller coaster snob - but if they're not made of metal, I'm not riding. Period.

The music - oh my. I couldn't listen to God Bless America one more time in the 4th of July section. Killing me. And of course there were Christmas songs in the Christmas section. I don't remember being annoyed in Halloween town or Thanksgiving...and they were playing the Beatles in the waterpark, so no complaints there.

Pepsi?? Why Pepsi?? I guess it's good - this way I stuck to lemonade.

Waterpark lines were a bit much. But it is a Saturday in June, what do I expect?

We may be going to Six Flags in a couple of weeks, depending on what happens with all stars. I imagine I will not have this many good things to say about that experience...but at least they have metal coasters.

ETA: I updated the link to the new Eileen blog...check it out!

Happy birthday!

To Mom Joy and to Mega-Joker-Eggo.....

Joy's is today and Megan's is this weekend...

So happy birthday to both of you!!!

I love this bar...

It's my kind of place
Just walkin' through the front door
Puts a big smile on my face...

I interrupt this blog to bring you THIS important message!
Welcome Corrinne Elizabeth!!! Born to our dear sweet Tigger yesterday afternoon. She arrives at 6 pounds 13 ounces, 19 1/2 inches long and a full head of long black hair.

We now continue with our regularly scheduled blog...
So the weekend found me relaxing. RELAXING, people. Can you believe it?? Friday night my house was empty - no kids, no hubby, no nuthin. Just a house. A quiet, fairly clean house. And I had nowhere to go! I thought about buzzing over to Laura's because cousin David was coming over to jam, and it was tempting, but I worked late, patched some servers, approved some workstation patches, stopped at the liquor store, picked up some wine, made a return at Costco and went home. I had a date. A date with some buttery garlic pasta, some wine and my book. Hooray books!

It was like a little slice of heaven, sitting there in my living room with nothing but the sound of the washing machine...oh, and Jul calling me to see if I was "in the area" so I could stop by Flan's and have a beer...HA! Almost was, Jul - almost was!

Saturday it rained, rained, rained - so Kev-head and I had a lazy morning. Doing laundry, picking up, sleeping on and off, reading my book, eating, sleeping, doing more laundry. At one point Kevin was in the living room soaking his sore foot and reading his bike mag, Alex was there with his laptop playing WoW, I was there reading my book. We were having family cocktail hour with no cocktails!! It was quite nice.

Saturday night was GNO (Girls Night Out) with my Roselawn mamas. We went to Abuelo's for yummy food and kick-your-ass marguaritas. Then we went to see Knocked Up. I highly recommend this - and it's not a chick-flick, either....boys will find it funny, too. There were parts where I thought I would shoot popcorn straight out of my nose. Hilarious. We didn't know where to go after that. It was 10:00 - and we were out for the evening. We didn't want to go home, and we didn't want to go to a bar full of 20-somethings, either. So we went to a dive bar. I love dive bars. Some of the best nights I've ever had have been in small rinky-dink scary looking dive bars. Hell, Flan's and the Village are dive bars and they are my favorite! We go to this bar no bigger than my office and people are bringing us stools so we have enough seats. There was karaoke and I gotta tell ya - this guy? Best selection I've ever seen. There was another table full of girls there also out for GNO, there were a lot of girls singing and having a good time. We ended up staying until 1am!

Sunday we had the end of the year party for little league and it was a great day. The kids had a blast, I got to eat good food and play games in the yard. By Sunday night I was exhausted, but it was still a great weekend.


Booooo little league games every night! Hooray GNO!! (and beer)

Here comes the sun...doo-n-doo-doo...

Here comes the sun...
And I say
It's all right...

Well, it's over. The regular season is over. I don't have to worry about a game for 2 full weeks. We ended the season 15-3. We lost two this week - there were some bad things happening since we had 3 games in a row. Last night we pitched 3 kids who had never been in the infield, let alone on the mound. We had to. We got screwed having 3 games in a row with pitch counts, etc, and the ump on Tuesday didn't help either. It was the worst.umped.game.ever. Let me put it to you this way - in the 3rd inning, Coach Kevin told the kids to stop swinging the bat. We scored 5 runs that inning. That is a poorly umped game, my friends - plus it took us 2.5 hours to play 6 innings. Yeah, ummmm, no. That's bad. It was another home team we were playing - the other coaches were just as ticked. They didn't want to win that way. Not that we played well - I think we still might have lost based on the way the kids were playing...but it was very frustrating, let me tell ya.

But you know what? Putting those kids on the mound last night - that was so fun to watch. One of them only allowed one run, struck someone out and caught an infield fly. He will never forget that. He wasn't much of a ball player when he came to us, not because he didn't have skill, but because he lacked confidence. The change in him this season - he hit 3 inside the park home runs this season. We've known this family for a long time, and it's just nice to see him with his head up. And for not having our usual pitchers on the mound? We lost 22-16 last night. And the kids had fun, they were hitting, Owen had an inside the park home run in the first inning. That was awesome.

At his last at bat, I yelled out that I'd pay him $20 if he "hit dad's truck" - my son? turns around and says "do I hear $75??" That got a lot of laughs. He ended up striking out, which saved me money so that was good. :) It's a good team, we had a good season...

Now it's time for all-stars. I have no idea what to expect. It's one of those situations where deep down, in places I don't want to talk about...I hope they lose and lose early. I want my summer to start. I want just a couple of weeks where I don't have to worry about what kid needs to be where. I just want a break.

But we all know I want them to win. Right?

I don't know how I feel about this issue...

There is a large issue that was vetoed again by Dubya - stem cell research. I will be the first to admit that I don't know where I stand on this issue. I waffle back and forth, reading up, taking into consideration all aspects, and I still don't know how I feel about it.

If it were my kids, my parents, suffering from some disease that could be eased or even cured by stem cell research - the position changes. It's so personal, it's so hard to find that line between playing God and succeeding in medicine and science. A wise person once said to me that God gave us the ability to discover the science. God also gave us the ability to build the atom bomb, but I don't think His intent was Nagasaki and Hiroshima. So this, this is where I struggle.

But the position I would not take is Dubya's. This man is an ass of the highest order. And I know this is the second post in as many days about political issues, and I know the readers I have prefer it when the blog is light-hearted and funny, but I can't let this stuff pass...

"If this bill were to become law, American taxpayers would for the first time in our history be compelled to support the deliberate destruction of human embryos," Bush said. "Crossing that line would be a grave mistake. For that reason, I will veto the bill passed today."

"Destroying human life in the hopes of saving human life is not ethical, and it is not the only option before us."

So let me get this straight. Destroying human life to save human life = unethical. What about the 655,000 Iraqi civilians who have died for this war that means...oh wait...we don't know what it means. What does it mean??? Why are we there? And so help me if you say the "war on terror" I will drive to where you are and shake you until you stop saying that.

According to Dubya, we can't do embryonic stem cell research, even with the potential to SAVE hundreds of thousands of people from horrific suffering with debilitating diseases and afflictions. But we can kill 655,000 (or MORE, that's just an estimate) in this "war" that no one, not even the soldiers fighting it, can explain to me.

And this from a man who comes in as a governor from a state that engages in capital punishment, btw.

The hypocrisy of it all.
*Edited to correct my number of Iraqi citizens who have lost their lives to this war.

I don't believe in Beatles, I just believe in me...

You don't have to approve of gay marriage to know that this is just wrong, wrong, wrong...read the whole thing, please, and consider what family means to you, and who you consider your family. If someone close to me were dying, should blood or a piece of paper matter in letting me hold that person's hand as they breathe their last? And apparently, even though they had legal medical standing, some people are so biased in their opinion on gay relationships that they still can't do what's right.

OLYMPIA — Four months ago, Lacey resident Janice Langbehn, her partner Lisa Pond and their children Katie, David and Danielle, ages 10 to 13, were set for a relaxing cruise from Miami to the Bahamas.

But Pond, Langbehn’s partner for nearly 18 years, was stricken in Miami with a brain aneurysm and died. The family says the way they were treated by hospital staff compounded their shock and grief.

Langbehn, a social worker, said officials at the University of Miami, Jackson Memorial Hospital did not recognize her or their jointly adopted children as part of Pond’s family. They were not allowed to be with her in the emergency room, and Langbehn’s authority to make decisions for Pond was not recognized.

“We never set out to change the world or change how others accept gay families,” Langbehn told the crowd at the Capital City Pride on Sunday. “We just wanted to be allowed to live equally and raise our children by giving them all the same opportunities their peers have.”

While Washington is one of a half-dozen states to recognize same-sex partnerships in some fashion, Florida is not.

Compelled to speak out

Langbehn said that the pain from losing Pond is still fresh, but she spoke at the gay pride event Sunday because the issue of legal recognition of homosexual families was too important to let go.

“I want people to be able to hold their partner’s hand in their moment of death,” she said.

Pond suffered the aneurysm just before the R Family Vacations cruise ship left Miami for the Bahamas in February, Langbehn said. After Pond was taken to the emergency room, Langbehn said she was informed by a social worker that they were in an “anti-gay state” and that they needed legal paperwork before Langbehn could see Pond.

Even after a friend in Olympia faxed the legal documents that showed that Pond had authorized Langbehn to make medical decisions for her, Langbehn said she wasn’t invited to be with her partner or told anything about her condition.

She said she wasn’t allowed to see Pond again until a priest arrived to give Pond the Anointing of the Sick, also commonly known as Last Rites.

“I was shocked. It never would have been on my radar that we wouldn’t be allowed to say goodbye,” Langbehn said. “When I was an emergency room social worker at Mary Bridge (Children’s Hospital and Health Center in Tacoma), if someone had said they were an aunt or a partner, I would have let them say their last goodbyes.”

Langbehn says she still has not been given Pond’s medical records from the hospital nor her death certificate directly from the county or the state, which affected their children’s Social Security benefits.

But she has received support from the local community and from former talk show host Rosie O’Donnell, who has e-mailed her to offer support and said she was angry over the way the family was treated. O’Donnell’s partner, Kelli O’Donnell, is a co-founder of R Family Vacations.

Capital City Pride co-chair Anna Schlecht said that Langbehn’s story drives home the reason why gays and lesbians continue to lobby for national legal recognition of their partnerships and families.

“When Janice told me the story over the phone, I started crying,” she said. “Death is hard enough. I can’t imagine having my children barred from me in the last moments of my life.”

Langbehn said attitudes changed when doctors in charge of organ donation recognized Langbehn and Pond as a couple. They accepted Langbehn’s signature on the consent forms, she said. They also allowed the children to visit with their mother, who was kept on life support while organ matches were found.

Pond, who was a volunteer with her church and with the Girl Scouts, as well as a foster mother, wished to donate her organs because she wanted to continue to give to people after her death, Langbehn said.

“I heard from the heart recipient last week,” she said. “Now he’s able to play with his grandkids again and he definitely would like to meet our family.”

I guess you're just what I needed...

I needed someone to feed....

Last night was pitch perfect. Booooo busy evenings, hooray lazy nights! The boys did a bunch of chores for me yesterday, so the house was in pretty good shape when I got home. I thought Kevin was going to have the boys on tractors when I got there, but he decided to take the night off. Hooray!

So I got home, popped a bottle of red, got out the goat cheese, some crackers and some grapes and sat down with my book. I got to READ, people...READ!!! I purchased some cedar planks at the Costco and decided to give them a whirl. I snacked and read while they were soaking, the boys jumped in the pool. We actually all relaxed quite nicely. The weather was perfect, there was a breeze keeping away any early evening mosquitoes. This is the good stuff.

After dinner (the pork chops turned out pretty good on the cedar planks!) we had a post-dinner cocktail hour on the deck, with Alex, Owen and I all reading our books of choice. Alex has started a new series and Owen picked up the Dangerous Book for Boys. If you have kids, not just boys, but kids, you should own this book. It's so fun! Julie turned me onto it and I bought it for Kev-head and the boys for Father's Day. Owen decided he wanted to learn how to make a water bomb out of a piece of paper, but couldn't figure it out on his own. So there we were, on the deck with the tiki torches going, folding a piece of paper into a water bomb. And when it actually worked? We were hooked. Alex in typical teenage fashion feigned apathy, but I think the boys will be making more of them today. Then Owen was on to coin tricks. Which then prompted us to get the magic kit out of the closet. Owen worked on magic tricks for the next two hours at least. "Owen the Magnificent" is born. And I, of course, am his lovely assistant.

A good evening was had by all - and I learned a couple of coin tricks myself.

The lazy days of summer...

Oh who am I kidding...there's no such thing. It IS summer, right? Yes - so the thermometer tells me. But seriously, lazy? No. I thought this was going to be a good weekend, a relaxing weekend. Notsomuch.

Friday found me doing laundry and trying to make my kitchen not look as if a tornado had just passed through. I am still recovering from Alex's party the weekend before. Odds and ends of colored napkins, plasticware, coffee pots tucked out of the way but not anywhere close to where they belong. Heaps of flowers not yet planted needed to find a permanent home in the ground. And yet, we decided to go and check out the Sandbur festival in Lake Village. Julie got to drive through beautiful "downtown" LV with me when we went to Owen's game a few weeks ago. And you have to laugh, because the downtown is more like a glorified neighborhood with some houses converted into a restaurant, a furniture store and the post office. And that's basically it. If I hadn't told her this was "downtown" - she wouldn't have known. Smalltown America at it's finest.

I was excited because we all know how I feel about my food from a booth, and this would be the official start of my festival season. My expectations were low - but this? This was beyond low. This wasn't even fair food. This was pitiful. Pit.i.ful. I did get some fried veggies - and they weren't horrible - but they weren't Lake County Fair quality, which is where my bar is set. You know it's bad if the highlight of my food experience was a snow cone.

This week is the last of the regular season games - tomorrow, Weds and Thurs. I won't be going to the one on Wednesday - that's the Freshman welcome picnic for Andrean. I'm already sweating what to wear. We'll save that discussion for when I'm thoroughly freaking out about it tomorrow. Oy.

Saturday found us at a ball game, selling tickets for little league at the aforementioned fair and then going to two graduation open houses.

Sunday found me melting in my garden, catching up on laundry and then driving to Lafayette to pick up the fair-haired boy. After that we had a soccer party and then home, finally to find that it had actually rained. HOORAY!! No watering the garden for me last night.

This weekend isn't looking any less busy - but the events are enjoyable...Saturday night is girls night out and Sunday is our end of the year party for baseball. Can I really have two parties with no rain? Stay tuned...

It sucks having an addictive personality...

Yeah, ummmmmm...I'm a whack job. For those of you who didn't realize this already - I truly am. Whack.job. I can get addicted to things so easily.

Chris and Julie were at the house for Alex's party - wanna know what Chris got me hooked on. Are you ready?

NASA TV.

Yeah, that's right...NASA...on television. Oh, and you can stream it on your computer as well. You can see them gearing up for their space walk right now...it's so cool. Earlier I heard them chatting it up with the Russians about the computer malfunction. It's geeky and I don't care. I'm totally sucked in.

My other new addiction? Entourage. I went to see my sister and she had the first two seasons on DVD and the third season recorded. It was like the new crack cocaine for me. I brought the first season home, and I gotta tell ya, my house is a disaster and all I wanna do is watch Jeremy Piven and the boys.

My other unhealthy obsession? Goat cheese. Don't ask - but I love the stuff and I haven't been able to find anything good around here. Well I found it at the farmer's market on Wednesday. mmmmmmmm....goat cheese. Happy little goats from right here in Indiana. It's way more expensive online than what I paid, but what's a girl to do? I have to have my fix.

Any of you sparking up any unhealthy addictions lately?

Summer reading...

Can you see the light??? Can you??? It's almost here. 4 more games! 4 more games! We're currently 13-1 which is a pretty nice place to be. So I'm looking forward, to a time when I might actually have more time and wondering, what should I read?? I'm still reading the series that Julie gave me for Christmas, and I'm confident that I'll have that finished pretty quickly. What are you reading? What do you suggest?

Even if you've already told me, tell me again - I'm going to B&N Friday, I think....suggestions!

And I don't understand why I sleep all day...

And I start to complain that there's no rain...

NO RAIN! Do you hear me? No.rain...this is the second party I have given where it hasn't rained. The first one was last Memorial Day weekend. I let Owen have a big slumber party for his birthday and I just started telling parents to stay since the weather was nice and we could all cook out. It didn't rain then, either. I started thinking that maybe it was because I kept it small and spur of the moment that I had nice weather.

This party was awesome....it was well planned, well executed...the house and the yard looked great, the food was good...I didn't have too much or too little of anything. BRILLIANT. The fireworks got a little challenging - the mortars kept blowing our tubes - that was a problem as we basically launched a couple in the direction of our party guests. Whoops.

Alex made some good money - he'll be getting his laptop soon. I told him we'd talk this week about what kind to get, how much Kevin and I will be contributing, etc. I guess this means I'd better get my wireless up and running in the house again. A task I've been putting off for months. Whoops. I have to get Owen's room up and functional as well. Part of me doesn't want to make this happen, because I like that they have to surf from the office where I can see them. BUT - part of me wants to really trust my kids. I've seen most of what they're looking at and I think they know what they can and cannot do. But then I worry that I'll see my family on "To catch a predator" and oy. Alex will be fine - it's that overly friendly Owen that I'm more concerned about. Alex wants to play WoW - Owen wants to be friends with the world. I don't know where he gets it.

Phew - it's almost over...

OMG - I guess it's because I'm doing Kathy's job over here (not well, mind you - but I am getting it done) - I'm channeling the young Kathy going into my weekend. I have lists. Multiple lists. What I'm getting at the store - written in the order of the aisles...seriously. I have a list of everything I must get done tonight. I have a list of everything I must get done in the morning. With target times. TARGET TIMES. I think I've actually one-upped my listmaking friend on that one. I'm insane. These people are riding my ass like a show pony over here and I have had a scant few minutes to organize my thoughts on getting stuff done.

I am almost done with the pity party that is me beating myself up over planning this party for this weekend. I had to sacrifice Stevie Nicks/Chris Isaak tickets, I have a meeting and a ball game in the morning. I have another party to go to in the afternoon. Alex has a party tonight.

OH MY GOD. I didn't factor that in. I have to spend 2 hours on the road tonight driving Alex to and from this party. Lovely

I'm screwed. So much for my cheery outlook...I'll let you know how it goes.

Revelling in my good fortune

First - today is Carol's last chemo treatment. Boooooo losing eyebrows and eyelashes, hooray end of chemo. She has really been a trooper through the whole thing. I'll be so glad when this is over and she gets her hair back.

These past couple of weeks have been rough - scheduling wise, work-wise, everything. And it's in these past couple of weeks that I am so grateful to be blessed with the people in my life. I have such wonderful friends and family everywhere who have helped me, have listened to me bitch and complain and just generally been around.

Like Tuesday, when Kevin and I had to miss Owen's game to go to Alex's graduation. Another coach came in and helped coach the team for us. I had not one, not two, but four different people willing to take Owen home from the ball field that night. I had two different parents, one calling Kevin's phone, one calling my phone to give us updates on the game. The family that did take Owen home that night fed him and made sure he had everything he needed.

Kevin has friends who are coming to help us set up the party on Friday night. My mom is planning on spending the day at our house on Saturday probably planting my containers and doing whatever I need to make sure the house is ready to go. My Roselawn wife is loaning me coolers to make sure I'm all set.

One of Alex's friends is having her graduation party on the Spirit of Chicago on Sunday. All I have to do is get Alex to the church on Sunday morning, and I have 3 different parents who are willing to drive him there and bring him back.

When you're a working mom, hell, even when you're not, even when you're just a busy mom with multiple kids running in multiple directions - it truly does take a village. I am truly blessed and fortunate that I have such a strong village - a fun village - sometimes a crazy village. Thank you villagers - I know some of you are out there. Have you thanked your village today?

In the thick of it now...

Okay, so I've got graduation out of the way. PHEW! What a bawl-fest THAT was. I was fine with it, I truly was. Until Alex's teacher read a children's story that left every mother/grandmother/aunt/caregiver/guardian in the place wondering why they bothered with mascara. I must own this book now. The jist of it? You never know when you're witnessing your child's last. We all take pictures and mark the firsts - they're very exciting. But do we remember the lasts? Last snuggle up and read a book, last time running through the grass barefoot, last time they look at you with wonderment about everything - would you have paid more attention? If you knew it was the last? If you knew it was the last butterfly kiss or PB&J with the crusts cut off? Would you have taken a picture if you knew it was the last mud pie or the last dress-up? The last time they wore a cape to the grocery store? Seriously - I'm welling up just telling you about it. Anyway, it was gut-wrenching and awful, but the ceremony was nice overall. Very proud of my boy.

Owen had a game last night. They won again! 11-0, baby! OMG...it's unbelievable. We have games on Thursday, Saturday and Monday. Then we get rest. REST. Post grad party rest. Post baseball game hell rest. Nothing to do. Which means my husband will probably schedule practice. But nothing for ME to do. Can you see it? The light at the end of the tunnel? It's getting brighter. Today I will be very together. Today I will order the cake and the chicken and the other food. Today I will go to the store at lunch and get all of my tablecloths and napkins. After work I will go to Costco and get everything else I need. Tonight I will get out the Christmas lights that will light up the tent. Tomorrow I will buy fireworks. I will throw the bestest party ever. EVER. (I'm really saying this more to convince myself...)

My busy schedule is now robbing me of the funny...

Holy fatigue, batman! It's almost over, it's almost over, it's almost over, it's almost over....it's my life, it's my mantra...it's all I can do to keep afloat. 100 people at my house on Saturday, and I haven't done anything. ANYTHING. No cake, no decorations, no ordering food...NOTHING. I'm pitiful. I've been so busy here at work I haven't had time to think. Luckily we already bought a big canopy tent, and before any of YOU say it...SAVE it. It's not going to rain. It's in God's hands. Seriously. It will be fine.

So between now and Saturday I have to use lunch hours and Wednesday after work to buy decorations, plates, napkins, utensils, booze, side dishes, fireworks; order cake and food, coordinate with my husband to get everything picked up and set up.

And we have graduation tonight.
And a game Thursday night.
And a game Saturday morning.
And a meeting with the church people on Saturday morning.

And it's supposed to rain all week so we can't cut the grass.

BUT - the seeds I planted in my new vegetable garden? You should see the size of the plants I have already! It's so exciting. My green beans, peas and sunflowers are all inches above the ground. It is the most wonderful thing to come home to, let me tell ya.

Wish me luck - I need it...before I pull my hair out. Once I get through this weekend I SWEAR the blog will get better and I will be funny again...promise. (That's if, of course you thought I was funny to begin with. If not, get off my blog.)

Am I ... too involved?

So I've noticed some things recently.

Women in our area will say that our PTA is a "click." Interesting. But I think we are this way because the very people that call us that have made us this way. We are the only people who show up for anything. Need volunteers for a sock hop? 10 women show up. Little league concession stand? Same women. Cub scouts, girl scouts, classroom helpers, graduation helpers, people who attend school board meetings and pta meetings...SAME WOMEN. We post and we beg and we invite all sorts of people to come, to please come, get involved, take a turn. Trust me...we would be MORE than happy to have you.

But they don't come, even when some of them express interest or say they will. We never see them.

So how can they not expect that the 10 or so of us - the women who are always there - will not become friends? Maybe socialize a bit. That makes us a click. We're perfectly nice people. Well, some of us aren't...I'm not blind...but most of us are nice people. We genuinely want your help and your ideas, and you just sit there and do nothing and then bash us for what we've done. Thanks.

And I've noticed that actually LESS parents are even coming to events. More parents are becoming "drop and run" parents. Now, not on my baseball team, but others I've seen, some in Roselawn, some elsewhere, we'll play teams where one or two parents are there. Twelve kids on a team and 2 adults are there. What? We had 6th grade graduation for 75 kids the other night. I think half of them had parents there. Huh? My dad was at the game the other night. My girlfriends, the moms of the other kids, were screaming for their kids, laughing, joking, generally having a good time. His response? "And to think I used to be so mad at my parents for never seeing my games." Oh Harry.

I know people have stuff to do, shift work, other kids in other activities. Hey, I get it. I do this. I divide and conquer. But really when I talk to people, they really don't have reasons for not attending their kids' stuff. They just drop and run. Can't they make an effort? Why aren't they? So the question is, is this generation of parents, the generation x-ers I think they are, just so apathetic as left over from the 90's, or am I too involved?

C'mon baby light me on fire...

Seriously...aaaaaaaagggggggggghhhhhhhh. I cannot win. CANNOT win. Hang with me here people and give me a paper bag to breathe in...it's going to be a doozy.

We have 10 baseball games in the next 21 days. Yeah, you heard me...10 games. 21 days. Professional ball players who get paid millions don't keep this kind of schedule. Okay, so maybe they do...but these are KIDS for crying out loud. And we parents have JOBS, and lives and OTHER CHILDREN.

In addition to that, I've got potentially 3 soccer games in 3 different cities over the next two weekends.

AND I've got Alex's 8th grade graduation one of these upcoming nights.

In addition to THAT I'm throwing two different parties - one for Owen (not at my house), one for Alex (at my house) over the course of the next two weekends.

I planned Alex's party before I realized that his soccer team was supposed to go to the Chicago Fire game that day. And now? His team has been selected to scrimmage on the field before the game. And he can't go. Which he's actually fine with...but it still pisses me off. And frustrates me. And then his music teacher calls last night and asks if he can play percussion in church this Sunday. Ummmmmm, what? And then his dad emails and asks if he can take him for the night after the game on Saturday. Ummmmmm, and miss Owen's party?

Seriously - really - light me on fire.

It was a long weekend - why don't I feel rested??

Oh yeah, because I worked my ass off, that's why.

Thursday night with the girls was a hoot. Lots of good food, good wine, good laughs. I was so glad I demanded Linda's presence - and even more glad that Cinde force Ang out of her anger-ridden stupor and made her come, too.

I decided to take the day on Friday despite my ever increasing workload. My brain just can't take it. I can't think this hard and be asked this many questions. I'm on overload. I had to get away. It was good - Friday - I got some laundry done, got some work done. The neighbor, the pony neighbor - yeah, we had to call 911 for him. He bashed his head with post-driver. He slammed the post driver onto the post, the post driver ricocheted off the post and hit him in the head. 2-inch gash and head wounds tend to bleed a lot. His wife was at work, so it was just him and the kids and the pony. He ended up with 9 or 10 stitches and a clean CT scan.

I planted a vegetable garden, kids. We'll see how it goes. I had Kevin plow under an area alongside the driveway. It's small, it's close, it should work out fine. I planted a lot more vegetables that I originally planned, but I think it's okay. I'll keep you posted. Tomatoes, zucchini, yellow squash, peppers, cucumbers, green beans and peas. And then I put in some annuals around it and some sunflowers. I love sunflowers!

Yesterday a spontaneous cookout erupted at my new neighbor's house - Miss Mary - she runs the preschool where Owen used to go. Her husband had lots of great imported beers, we spent a couple hours over there chatting and eating. Booooo rain - hooray beer!

ETA: Julie brought Hayden down and caused the whole Fandango on Thursday night - she was a total catalyst for fun and all my Roselawn friends love her. Because she's fabulous. Absolutely fabulous.

The pony story...

ETA: WHERE IN THE HELL IS EVERYONE??

For those of you who have been here awhile, you might recall the chicken story, the duck story, and the rooster story...

Now, brought to you straight from Rosentucky and my hillbilly neighbors we have THE PONY STORY. Because clearly when you can't control small animals with wings, you should get a really large animal that can break down your fence. Can you feel the foreshadowing?? Can you?

The reason for the new acquisition? The little brat next door who drops f-bombs like it was his job - it's his birthday. Well, whoop-de-friggin' do. These people seriously, SERIOUSLY do not have a pot to piss in. They can barely take care of themselves, let alone a large four-legged animal. No, they don't have a barn for it. They don't even have a lean-to. They fenced in an area of the back 40 for this pony. And best of all - they didn't even fence the area towards the back, where the pony could seek shade. This poor beast is stuck in the sun all day, in an area smaller than I had for my goats.

We find this out on Monday. On Tuesday the pony arrived. It's cute enough, and was kind of cracking us up on Tuesday night because he kept scratching his ass on the fence. Itchiest assed pony I've ever seen. He was poking his head through the fence eating our grass, which is fine, but I saw major problems with this large animal and the weak wooden fencing.

This morning Alex went out to feed the animals. I was in my normal morning frenzy and didn't notice him not coming back. When we got ready to leave I saw my neighbor walking down the road with the pony on a rope.

Ummmmm, "Alex what happened?"
A: "Yeah, the pony got loose."
Me: "He did? How long as he been out?"
A: "I don't know. I tried to help him get it back."
M: "You did?? When??"
A: "This morning? You didn't notice I was gone for like 20 minutes?"
M: "No..."
A: "When I was waking up Owen this morning I saw the pony out the window. It was standing in our yard. I went outside to go to the neighbors to tell them, and it ran into the woods. By the time I got the neighbors it was all the way over at the other neighbors house. We tried to catch it, but it kept running away."

Alex finally gave up pursuit and came home, and eventually Mark caught the darn thing. I have no idea where it escaped through the shoddy fencing. I can't wait to get home and see what they've done to repair it. This should be the beginning of many humorous and/or frustrating anecdotes. I have not let the dogs out since the arrival of the pony...I have yet to see how they'll react to the new neighbor.

Oh, and for more fun? Their dog is in heat. So they told us to be careful. Ummmmmm...since when did your dog become my responsibility? We only have one reproductive animal, and if last year's breeding snafu is any indication, he's gay...so I don't think we have anything to worry about. Keep your damn dog locked up and we won't have a problem.

Luckily tonight Julie and Hayden are coming down to watch Owen's baseball game and I've launched an impromptu deck party for the girls. Wine and snacks and girlfriends...does it get any better? I don't think so. Happy Thursday.

My baby is 10!!

Double digits...my baby has hit double friggin' digits. Holy mother...

Anyone have any idea how old this makes ME feel?? I can remember like it was yesterday - calling Julie at 5am to tell her I was in labor, only to have her freaking out during the conversation because I wasn't talking.

"Bek? BEK??? What's happening? What are you DOING???"
"Breathing."
"Breathing? Why aren't you talking?"
"Breathing."
"Breathing? OHHHHHHHHH. Breathing! Like for contractions! Breathing! OH MY GOD!!"

Hilarious...
And then, of course...most of you know - Julie named the boy. Wasn't me. I had no boy's name. None. Zip, zero, zilch, nada...no name boy. I had a girl name that I didn't really like, and I didn't know what I was having. Have I told all of you this before? Anyway, Julie came in to the hospital later that day proclaiming "Hey, I thought of a boy name on the train...Owen." I didn't even really acknowledge it. Of course, by the time she got there I think they had me on pit and stadol...I couldn't even get my glasses back on my face after I took them off, let alone give any real thought to a name. It wasn't until hours and hours later, when I delivered a beautiful baby boy that the doctor said "What's his name?" and I replied "Owen." Julie squeed "Bek, you don't have to name him that, really, it was just a thought."

Either I really loved the name or I was too tired to think of something else - either way, it stuck. And now we have a 10 year old Owen to show for it.

Happiest of birthdays to my boy - all he wanted was Under Armour - so that's all he's getting. Well that and dinner at BW's...and we're going to see Spiderman 3...and we're having a party at the jumpyjump place. But that's it. Seriously. Spoiled rotten kid. :)

New look - the world is going green, so why not me?

Hi all - like the new blog? I'm trying out some new things, but mostly I upgraded my blog so I could post the Relay for Life emblem and then a link to Julie's donation page. An email from Julie:

Everyone knows someone who has had his or her life disrupted, and sometimes ended, by the disease cancer. This summer on July 13th & 14th, my community will host the Duneland Relay for Life. I’ve joined team Anton Insurance in an effort to raise funds that will go towards the fight against cancer.

Please support me with your monetary donation in this crusade for a cure. Joining together, we will win this fight.

Our event starts on Friday the 13th! It’s also my 36th birthday. In honor of those who have faced cancer and well, my birthday, please make a donation with the number 13 in it. For example…. $13.00, $13.13, $25.13, $130.13, $250.13… I think you get the idea.
It’ll be fun!

Remember, all donations add up, so even small amounts are important contributions.

Thanks in advance.
~Julie

There's a link on the right if you wish to contribute. Love you Julie! Love you Carol!

Apparently this is my week for good causes. Donated to Relay for Life, dropped bags off at the Goodwill store and Saturday night found me at a benefit for Hayden's preschool. The Sunset Soiree was a swanky little snappy casual (Eileen that was for you) event at the Dune Acres clubhouse this weekend. Julie, Chris, Jimmer, Nicole and I were in attendance. Drinks, heavy hors d'oeuvres, silent auction, live auction, music. Hooo-wah! (read like Al Pacino in Scent of a Woman) Let me just say that I love any preschool function that involves booze. Is that so wrong? We had a really great time...I got a great deal on the silent auction I won. For $90 I got a cute duffel bag, hand stuff, foot stuff, a t-shirt and a pedicure from a shee-shee-foo-foo salon. I looked on their website yesterday - the pedi alone is $65, so I totally scored. Oh wait...this is sounding less about my charitable contribution and more about what's awesome for me. Oh screw it. It was an awesome deal! Anyone have any idea what a "Caribbean Therapy Pedicure" might be?? Sounds good, I guess - are they going to serve me a drink in a coconut? Heaven knows I could use some Caribbean Therapy. Of course, the last time I got therapy in the caribbean was the massage I got on my honeymoon and let's just say they're very thorough. Shockingly thorough actually. And way more thorough on me than my hubby who was on the table next to me.

Owen's birthday is tomorrow - so if you have his email addy, send him a little note if you have a second. He checks his email every morning and would be delighted to get birthday emails from my blogging family.

Alex had a good confirmation - he didn't read too speedy like some. His soccer team finished in second place going into the tournament.

Ode to baseball...guest blog by the Jimmer...

Ahhhhh Baseball. I luuuuuv Baseball. I’m especially looking forward to this weekend. Why? I’m glad you asked. It’s the Windy City Classic! The Chicago White Sox vs. The Chicago Cubs. Does it get any better than this? Well, it would’ve if the Bulls would have won last night but that’s another story. My boys in black are heading to Wrigley Field to battle those loveable losers. The Sox come in with a series win over the Yankees while the Cubs lost a heartbreaker yesterday to the Mets. Did I tell you that I love baseball? Now, I know that many of you do not share my passion for baseball. However, there is a glaring fact that goes hand in hand with baseball. It’s SUMMER time boys and girls. (I know it’s not officially summer but you know what I mean.) When baseball comes around it brings with it cook outs, beach days, and good old family fun. Not to mention all the great food. (This was added especially for Rebecca.) Who doesn’t love a ballpark hot dog? Add grilled onions and you have a small slice of heaven. Add to that a win for your favorite team and its bliss; that is until they lose. Pool parties, Volleyball, a game of flashlight tag, the options are endless. Sunshine until 8:30pm and then a blazing bonfire at night. However, if you invite Doug be sure to have an extra chair around as one usually ends up broken and in the fire. So, I say three cheers for the boys of summer and three cheers for baseball. But then again, Football is right around the corner….

HOORAY Baseball

HOORAY BEER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

P.S. I hope I haven’t bored the hell out of you.

P.S.S. Sox win 2 out of 3 at Wrigley…

Sorry guys - bad blogger, bad, bad blogger...

Since the young Kathy abandoned me, I'm just beside myself and cannot seem to blog.

No, that's not true - because the young Kathy abandoned me I'm so damn busy I can't seem to focus long enough to blog, let alone be mildly entertaining while doing so. Didn't I go through this at the same time last year? And I didn't even have Kathy to blame then. Phhhhht.

How are all of you? Where are all of you? Who has fun vacation plans as the school year ends? Who wants to get together for cocktails as soon as humanly possible? (Tigger, put your hand down - you must finish this pregnancy first.)

It's a good thing gas prices are reasonable since I have to RUN MY ASS OFF in the next couple of days...ugh.

Notable notes - Jerry Falwell is dead. In a very un-Christianlike attitude, my knee-jerk response was "good." Now that's not very nice. But he wasn't very nice, either, in my opinion. Anyone who can wave the Bible while simultaneously spreading hate (ummmm, can we say KKK? Nazi party? anyone? anyone?) and blaming something like 9/11 on the gay community - well, let's just say I hope he's finding out how wrong he was. May he burn in hell in a Tinky Winky costume while the devil beats him with a purse.

Now I have to purge that stuff because that's bound to have a negative affect on my karma.

Big win, big win....no whammiesssssssssss......STOP!

What a great few days for sports at the Crumerosa! Not only are the teams winning, but both of my boys are experiencing their own personal best for their season. It's quite fun to watch!

Saturday, Owen's game at home - it was a nailbiter, but we won it 10-9. Hooray! Owen came in at the end to shut them down, and shut them down he did. He did not let them score. Saturday afternoon Alex's game in Lansing - another nailbiter, but we won 3-2. Hooray! Alex had an assist on one of our 3 goals. Alex's game on Sunday - we won 1-0. Tight, tight game. The Griffith kids were really aggressive. Alex got called for pushing, tripping, you name it. His passing was dead on. Last night's baseball game for Owen was outstanding. Total team effort, Owen pitched his ass off. Lots of positive self-esteem for both boys as they find themselves on great teams, with great coaches and winning records. Hooray!

Blessed are the weak, for they shall inherit...well...physically ailing addictions...

So I did it, I succumbed...I drank a Diet Coke - nectar of the devil and benevolent addiction gods. I'm trying to figure out what in the hell is wrong with me that I'm yawning 50 million times in a day and literally cannot keep my eyes open. So I have to ask, what have I changed? I removed DC from my diet, that's what. But I've been taking green tea pills! Chock full of wonderful natural caffeine, so I shouldn't be experiencing any withdrawal. WTF? I haven't had a headache since the first day!

My husband found this diet coke somewhere in the garage and stuck it in the frig. On my way out the door I grabbed it...I'm not even ashamed. I put it in the cup holder in the car like I've done so many times before. It looked so pretty and right where it belonged. Alex got in the car and saw it sitting there.

A: Ummm, mom...should I keep this in the car?
Me: Yeah, Alex...I put it there. I plan to drink it.
A: No, I mean, should I keep it a secret? Like what happens in the car stays in the car?
Me: No, it's okay Al. You can tell people if you want, I'm not really keeping it a secret.

HILARIOUS! My son loves me so much he's willing to hide me falling of the wagon from the world.

Also funny from my oldest son:
Last week we went to the barber to get his hair cut. He's clip, clip, clipping away and shaving and clipping and then? Then he pulls out some vacuum cleaner hose attached to the cabinet and proceeds to vacuum my son's neck and head. Ummmm, what?? So Alex's response?

"Boo hairstyling vacuum attachments. Hooray beer!"

He didn't say it very loud - you could hardly hear him over the vacuum itself. But I knew what he said and almost hurled water all over the floor. We were both cracking up and the barber was looking at us like we were nuts.

Even more funny from Alex:
Kiwanis banquet on Wednesday. You have to fill out this questionnaire and they read it. On EVERY kid. Awards received, hobbies, future plans, future occupation. I was madly filling this thing out because my son's handwriting is IMPOSSIBLE to decipher without a Rosetta Stone handy, and I asked him what he wanted me to list as his occupation. "Still a large animal vet?" I asked. "Yeah...or a gunsmith, that would be pretty cool"

A gunsmith? Like in Williamsburg? OMG. Apparently that trip made an impression. I debated on whether or not to put in on there, realizing the ridiculousness of it. But it's what he said, so it's what I wrote. Who knows, maybe he'll move to Williamsburg and make guns for a living, who am I to say? So when the principal is reading this, out loud, to a room full of people, it sounds even MORE ridiculous than it did in my head.

Principal: "And Alex's future occupational plans are to be a large animal veterinarian or a gunsmith"
*chuckles from the crowd here*
Principal: Well, I guess if one doesn't work out the other one will
*full on laughter from the crowd*
Principal goes on to say how he likes to give Alex a hard time and thanks him for giving him more material.

Alex just stood there grinning. That's my boy. And I love him.

The juice, baby...give me the juice...

Is this what hardcore withdrawal feels like? Because this? This is horrible. Kids, I'm exhausted. Like can't keep my eyes open exhausted - put my head on my desk, falling asleep at Alex's soccer practice TIRED. I don't understand. I know I gave up Diet Coke - but I filled the void with green tea fat burner pills that are chock full of natural caffeine. I am taking vitamins like it was my job and here I sit looking through slits in my eyes to type.

The first one of you who says "But you're so busy" - I swear I will drive to where you are and punch you in the face. Have you met me? Find me a time in my life when I HAVEN'T been busy. This is the only time I've ever worked only ONE job - there have been times when I've worked as many as 3 at one time...and this is AFTER having Alex. This is what I do. I run...and run...and run. Hell - and I'm sorry to say this Colleen - I haven't even been drinking much wine. I did have a glass of Crane Lake Chardonnay last night. I've been trying to get more sleep. I have. Hell, bowling's OVER!

Did I mention the part where I'm taking vitamins like it was my job?!

This level of exhaustion is just depressing. I will stop beating myself up, Pea, if I could just keep my eyes open!

Calgon, take me away...

Hi there kids - how is everyone on this fine Wednesday morning?

Well, I finally came up with a schedule for my walking group. We're trying to get together as much as possible in between games and running all over holy hell. We're also mixing in abs and hand weights for toning up. It should be really good and hopefully yank me from this depression I'm finding myself in. Seriously...the pictures from DC have done a number on my psyche folks. It doesn't help that I found some pics of myself in PEAK rockstar condition last night. Alex is the "student of the month" at school, which means he had to bring in pics of himself from various stages of his life. I was pouring through tons of pics last night trying to find some for him to take - and in the process stumbled across some old gig pics.

These are only, what, 7 years ago - damn I was fit. I was kickboxing 3 times a week and living on protein shakes and chromium piccolinate (or however you spell it). I was wearing a shirt that showed my abs like Janet Jackson. Damn those were the days. Now I'm all soft and flabby and ew. EW. EW. I show my abs to no one because they now look more like Randy Jackson. I'm doing' my thing, dawg.

I'm now considering growing my hair back out and I sure as shit need to do something about this love handle situation. So it begins. I stepped on the scale the other day. EW. Not that I've ever really cared about what the scale says - but let's just say I weigh enough that I could donate 2 pints of blood in one sitting if I wanted to. I'll keep you posted. Is it bad that last night I had cheese and crackers for dinner. I was tired and my family decided to cook for themselves. Nothing sounded good, so I just snacked. Yeah, that's probably bad.

I'll have a salad for lunch today - that's the ticket.

Take me out to the ball game, take me out to the crowd....

Well, I did it. For better or worse, I did it. I sang the national anthem in front of my entire community. People said it sounded great, but I thought it sounded like shit. It sounded PERFECT in my bedroom when I was warming up in the morning. But in front of people, with my voice shaking all over the place? Not so much. I almost puked. I had myself REALLY worked up over this. I was more nervous than I was at Jimmer's....waaaaaaay more nervous. I should have sucked a beer down or something before I left the house.

*Note to self, no singing without some form of alcohol in my system. Ever. EVER.

I did hit every note...no one can accuse me of being tone deaf, that's for sure. I had to hold the mic - so that kept the spastic moves to a minimum. A bunch of softball girls came up to me gushing when I was done, so I guess that's a good sign, and Donny the bball prez who asked me to do it shouted "YEAH!" when I was done.

After that it was business as usual. The concession stand was overrun and understaffed as usual, so I bopped in there for awhile. Then Owen had his game. He started pitching - he looked really great. Composed, in the zone. The few he threw in the dirt he bounced back from. They ended up calling his game in the 4th inning due to the slaughter rule...they were beating the other team 15 -1. And that was only because we have a 5 run limit for each inning. This is what replace the "10th batter" rule. Remember that? Owen did have one 3 up, 3 down inning which was great and made it out of 4 innings in well under 60 pitches. This is a good thing. Pitch counts are what it's all about.

They have practice tonight and their next game is on Wednesday. I have to miss it, which makes me sad because Coach Kevin is putting Owen in at catcher. I've never seen Owen play that position and after seeing the game on Saturday? You MUST have someone who can stop a ball in that spot. LOTS of bases gained on the catcher not stopping the ball. It's probably good I won't be there, I'd be a nervous wreck.

Owen hit well on Saturday, too. A walk, a single and a triple. Maybe two walks. Their pitchers were having problems getting it over the plate. Hell, they were having trouble getting it IN FRONT of the batter instead of behind them. I felt bad for the little guys.

I'm missing Wednesday's game for the Kiwanis banquet. Remember this from last year? Alex and I have a plan this year. No ketchup, no gum...we're going to be better this time. We can learn from our mistakes.

The most wonderful thing about Tiggers, is Tiggers are wonderful things!

Happy Birthday Tig!! A day late, because I was so focused on drinking wine I completely spaced. I guess we're not doing so good this year!

What did the boys get you? Anything good?

The wine tasting event last night was stellar. Lots of good food, tons of great wine. I met Ashton Kutcher's twin brother, Michael. That was pretty cool. There was a roaming photographer taking pics at the event and he snapped one of Michael, Janet and I. When he posts it to the website I'll let you know.

I'm exhausted and I have a lot of work to do. But here's the deal - they want me to sing the national anthem at opening day tomorrow for little league. So for those of you that were there and heard me at Jimmer's 30th bash - did I suck? Should I not embarrass myself in front of MY ENTIRE COMMUNITY??? Tell me true, because this is happening tomorrow.

OMG.

Working sucks...and other obvious statements

So the young Kathy says I'M selfish?? She went and had another kid and left me...
all by myself.....don't wanna be....all by myself...anymore...*sniff*

And moreover, I have to do all her stinking work while she's gone. She's at home, relaxing, enjoying her vacation, hanging out with the kids doin' nothing and I'm over here busting my ass. I mean, how hard can it be, right? Paige sleeps all the time and Gavin is old enough now that he just self-entertains. This is bullshit.

Kathy are you laughing or groaning? Yeah, you couldn't pay me enough for the sleep deprivation my work-wife is experiencing right now.

I'm pretty overwhelmed because I'm not even one iota as good at Kathy's job as she is and it's very frustrating. BUT, I am almost 3 full days diet coke free. My headaches are subsiding. I'm drinking 3 bottles of water (at least) per day, and already I've noticed a difference in my skin. My age has brought some pretty strange things, but these dry patches on my chin? Annoying. It kind of looks like diaper rash if it gets bad. But lately this morning I noticed that I might have been able to go without moisturizer if I wanted to, and this is a good thing, because sometimes I forget.

Now for the bad news. I called to make an appointment with my naturopath? The woman who has changed my life? She's out until May 20th. And then? She's closing her Merrillville office. OF COURSE SHE IS. What have I done to my karma to deserve this??? She's the person I get my miracle pills from so I don't have to take ibuprofen! She's the reason I made it through a week in DC sleeping on a crummy mattress, driving for hours in vans and dealing with moody middle schoolers! She got me started on my current health kick! What in the fuck am I supposed to do NOW??? Hrmph. Very frustrating. Amazon.com sells all of my pills, so that's good. I guess I'm on my own. Hopefully she'll be able to recommend another good acupuncturist. I'm so sad. I liked her.

Vision...hazy...knees...weak...throat...so...dryyyyyyyyyy...

26 hours.

26 HOURS. That's how long I've been without my favorite vice. My favorite mistake. My good friend and long time companion. The man in the silver can...Diet Coke. First ibuprofen, now this?? What's the world coming to?

I'm 4 weeks off ibuprofen, by the way. Thank you, thank you. Hard to believe considering I was swallowing those puppies down like a chronic halitosis sufferer on tic-tacs.

This is the turning point, people. I am a beaten woman. My 35+ years have caught up to me. I am now, officially, soft in the middle. Real soft. Charmin soft. Recent pictures of myself brought to mind an episode of Friends with Monica in her "fat years" and she said "the camera adds ten pounds!" and Chandler responded "How many cameras are on you?" (chick-chick-boom! mra3=dork)

Fixing my shoulder is the first step. It seems to be well in hand. Must call about acupuncture appt. this week.

Quitting diet coke is another. First, it's not really diet. There are studies that show it actually makes women heavier in their midsection and thighs. Ummmm, check and check. Plus the aspertame? I might as well drink rat poison every day. And after the shakes and the shimmies and the vibrations and the twitching all leading into every neurological test known to man - it's time to break up. Jul & Suz are on the bandwagon with me, and we've all shared this addiction for 20 years or more now. I feel like an alcoholic, I'm really just taking this one day at a time.

So here I sit, with my water, and my salad having just finished a yogurt with flax seed. OMG. I sound like a damn tree hugger.

And for those of you who are about to light up the comments section of this blog with "What are you thinking? You look fine. You're exaggerating" type bullshit? Save it. SAVE IT. Pants that fit me last year no longer fit. Shirts that fit me last year? The muffin top spilling over the pants that no longer fit me is bulging beyond belief. I'm not in this to lose a ton of weight, but being more fit is a good goal.

I'm starting a women's health group with my walking club. I need support. And not just in my bras. I'll keep you posted on my progress. I'm keeping the wine addiction. It's all I have left.

Waiting with baited breath...

I know you are all wanting an update and funny anecdotes...it's coming, I swear! Swamped today at work, but I'll try and post something this afternoon with a few choice photos. Miss you all...

"The Real World" DC...

Oh my. Have I mentioned that I LOVE having boys?? You pregnant friends of mine? Sucks to be you, because middle school girls? They're crazy. Now is the time of the trip when all of the girls have started spending just a leettle too much time together. Cattiness is starting, feelings are getting hurt, gossiping and pouting and sulking commence. Sweet Jesus on the Metro...it's more than I can take.

You would all be very proud of me. No cussing in the van. Well, not that anyone can hear me. The kids are mostly not on my nerves...save for one, who shall remain nameless, but let's just say that this girl wouldn't know happy if I drew her a picture. I can deal with a lot of things...whiny 8th grade girl isn't one of them. Suck it up, Sally - it's the trip of a lifetime that you didn't even have to PAY for. Please. Try...just try...and be HAPPY. Ugh.

But today, today was classic Rebecca. Okay...so we're going to the White House and Congress. It's a metro day. She specifically said she'd like us all to be a little more dressed up. I asked if this might be the day to wear cute shoes over comfortable shoes. Absolutely she said. Hm. We were supposed to metro to the White House, and then metro to the capital building. Somewhere along the way, after I put on my strappy shoes...after the White House. The plan changed. We walked it. WALKED IT. Are you hearing me? Do you understand the way our nation's capital is designed?? The capital building and the White House are on OPPOSITE ENDS of the city. OPPOSITE ENDS by design! And the sidewalks in DC? They're not cement. They're this composite stony garbage that when you're walking in sneakers? Brilliant. When you're hoofing it across DC in strappy shoes? Sucky as hell. I wanted to light myself on fire.

And here's where you'll be proud of me. All the crabby moms in their sensible shoes who hate me? I had to pretend like this walk was no big deal. "Aren't your feet killing you??" they would ask... "I can't believe you wore those shoes." Nooooooo, I'm fiiiiiiiine! I wear heels all the time. No way was I giving them their smug satisfaction that I was anything less than completely thrilled with my decision to wear my strappy shoes on our fancy day. Inside? Dying. Dy-ing. But smiling. SMILING. My dogs were not just barking or howling - they were on fire. En fuego as my dearly departed Toni used to say. I could not believe we WALKED that and then had to walk all over the capital. This was not supposed to happen.

As if it's not bad enough I'm on this trip with a bunch of boisterous Republicans (no offense to my Republican readers. I love you...I do. I don't understand you...but I love you.) The big joke of the night? Someone saw a t-shirt that said "Friends don't let friends vote for Democrats."

Well hardy-har friggin' har. My mouth is bleeding, but I said nothing. Apparently Dick Durbin, the Democratic Senator from Illinois was at Mt. Vernon at the same time we were today. Several of them made comments about how they saw him, wanted to shove him down the hill and/or walk up to him and tell him about how they DON'T pray for him at night. I couldn't even make this up. REALLY? REALLY???? If they start saying anything about Obama, I'm going to lose it. And it won't be pretty.

Needless to say I was so glad to have some time away from the group in Old Towne Alexandria tonight. Alex and I found a nice little thai restaurant. We had a good meal, bought him some clothes for graduation, spent some one on one time together chatting and walking the town. It was really nice.

That's all for now. I did buy some wine at the Miche Tavern yesterday. Four bottles. We'll see if they all make it home.......after today, I'm not so sure I can hold out until the end of the week.

Miss me yet??

Hi guys! Greetings from our nation's capital. Alex and I are here on fabulous Washington, DC field trip and WOW has it been an adventure already. There's so much I could talk about! We're keeping a fast pace here. I'll sum up quickly and try to follow up with funny anecdotes later. I just now got to a place where I could even attempt to try sitting down on my laptop. Everyone is running out of space on their digital cameras, so I'm downloading all of their pics to my laptop and burning them to disc for them so they an erase and have space for the next day. SO MUCH TO SEE!

Saturday: Old Post Office with trip to the top of the clock tower, chance happening on the Spring Garden tour of the White House. Only happens TWICE per year - I was within spitting distance of the Oval...took a lot of restraint not to test that distance. Next Holocaust Museum, Arlington Cemetary. There's something else from that night - see I'm already forgetting.

Sunday: Iwo Jima Memorial (found accidentally because I missed our turn...yes, I'm driving one of the vans and I'm the LEAD van), Gettysburg. Unbelieveable. Must go back there. Vietnam Wall, Lincoln Memorial after dark, Korean War memorial VERY cool at night.

Monday: Ford's Theatre, Washington Monument, WWII Memorial, Jefferson Memorial, Bureau of Engraving and Printing, tour of the Pentagon. Loved getting to see how money is made. At one point I was standing right in front of $64 million dollars. MILLION. Yowzers.

We're averaging 4 miles a day walking. 4 MILES. My dogs are howling, kids. I could spend weeks here and never feel like I've seen everything. We're riding the metro, and I must say, DC really has this public transportation thing down. It's so very cool.

It's a family affair....

And we have a brand new shiny member of our blogging family to welcome today!!! Happy birthday in the truest sense to Paige Renee - born this morning to the young Kathy and her husband, Eric. Paige is 8 lbs, 20 1/2 inches long, has a head full of newborn hair, perfect skin, new baby smell and is, of course, beautiful. She is, after all, my illegitimate love child.

Phew! I'm so glad THAT'S over and this baby finally has a name.

On to less important matters...

Dear sweet blogging family that I love - I leave this weekend for the DC trip...you know - the trip I never got to take in my youth. As long as I have wi-fi, I will be blogging from our nation's capitol. We've been given very strict instructions on how we, as adults, are expected to behave as chaperones. Alex's teacher was VERY specific about reminding us that this is NOT a vacation, this is a FIELD TRIP. So that means we have to worry about school rules and image and shit like that. I guess since this isn't a vacation, I don't get to start the morning with a bloody mary, move into marguaritas for lunch and end with dirty martinis...in other words, I can't act like EVERY MEMBER OF CONGRESS. HA! That was funny right there, I don't care who you are.

Seriously - I can't drink...I can't wear shirts with spaghetti straps or short shorts or ripped jeans or flip flops. Ummmmm...why am I going on this fucking trip? Actually the only part that concerns me is the flip flop thing. Those of you that know me know that the sisters prevent any spaghetti strap action from EVER happening in this lifetime, and I don't even wear regular shorts let alone some flippin' daisy dukes. And I can, if necessary, keep myself off the hooch. But really? REALLY? Stick me with 8th graders all day and you don't think I need a glass of red before bed?? What about my New Year's resolution??? Anyway, she doesn't actually care if we wear flip-flops - only when we're going to the White House, but we'll be doing SO much walking that it's probably not a good idea. Bugger. They're easier to pack.

She also said that no one needs to try and stand out and be "the fun parent." "We're all fun" she said. Ummmmm, no...you're not, actually. Some of these people wouldn't know fun if I showed them a map on how to get there. She was specifically referring to a dad a few years back who rented movies in the hotel room every night of their stay and kept the kids up until 2am. Okay, that's not my idea of fun...lack of sleep? Notsomuch. Lack of sleep for 8th graders? Definitely not a good time. I am an avid supporter of sleep...ask my scouts who HATE me when I make them go in the tents when other boys are still up and being rowdy.

I plan on bringing games with me. I plan on bringing Uno and Blink and Yahtzee and cards. I was even thinking about bringing my Texas Hold Em set and letting them bet with Cheetos. I'm bringing along every skit I've ever done with Scouts. I was thinking about picking up some foam visors like we did on fabulous beach vacation. If I got one for each kid it would cost me a whopping $6. We're going to have some down-time and I like my teenagers AMUSED! That's okay, right? Dontcha think? As long as I enforce proper bed times?? I don't think I know how NOT to be the fun mom. Julie would do the same thing...I know she would.

Cheer up sleepy jean...

So once again, I've tried to blog several times to no avail. In the wake of this national tragedy, I'm finding it difficult to find the funny. This is becoming like 9.11 to me, where the intense, never-ending media blitz is engulfing me, depressing me...how about you? I just can't imagine! And the news that someone was actually concerned - granted, this was 2 years ago - but concerned about him enough to alert the police? That's some seriously scary stuff he must have written. So what happens now?

On a much lighter note - acupuncture today, kids. I'm very excited to go see Minna again. I haven't taken ibuprofen in 2 weeks. TWO WEEKS. That's HUGE for me.

AND I'm ... sing it with me now... all by myself....all by MYSELF....the young Kathy has left the building. Tomorrow morning at this time we will have a new edition to our blogging family. A baby girl - who's name is....yeah, I have no idea. Kathy has beaten this horse to death, pardon the reference, my horse-loving baby-having friend. I've stopped asking "does she have a name" and started asking "what's the frontrunner today?" I don't think she'll know what to name her until she sees her. I have a feeling she'll come to some conclusion in the morning and then change it again once she's born. It happened to her. She was supposed to be...wait for it...a REBECCA. Yeah, that's right. A Rebecca. hahahaha. And at the last minute she became a Katherine.

Also worth mentioning...we're halfway through chemo with Carol now. Hi Carol! "Chemo with Carol" sounds like a bad talk show on discovery health. She's bald as a baby but doing okay. Carol, my mom and I talk frequently and are frequently relaying information back and forth between each other. On Monday, Carol was telling me that my 90-year-old Grandma is having trouble with her balance and keeps falling. My uncle wants her to start using a cane. She won't. So I relay this information to my mother.
"Hey mom - you might want to talk to Carol, Grandma keeps falling all the time."
"She keeps falling? Why is she falling??"
"I don't know? Because she's 90? Talk to Carol."

Fast forward to yesterday. I get an email from my mom. She's emailing Carol to see what's going on with Grandma. She wants to know why grandma is crying so much.

Last night I talk to Carol again and she asks me about the crying. I have no idea. "She's not crying when I talk to her...she must be crying with my mom." Carol and I have at least a 10 minute conversation about how grandma must be more worried about Carol than we think and blah-blah-blah-discussion-cakes. Carol says she'll talk to Grandma.

Now I talk to my mom. I tell her that I talked to Carol. We don't understand the crying.
"Does she cry every time she talks to you?" I ask
"She's not crying with me" says mom
"Then why are you asking about crying??"
"Because of what you said the other day!"
"What did I say the other day?? I never said she was crying!"
"Rebecca, you told me that Carol told you that grandma was bawling all the time."

OH MY GOD. I didn't say BAWLING, I said FALLING. I said she's FALLING all the time - as in losing her balance because she's 90 friggin years old!!!

At this point my mom and I lose it. For the love, are you kidding me?? Laughing my ass off. Here we're all getting all concerned about grandma because she's crying all the time - and it's not even friggin' happening. Carol and I have now decided that all important information must be in email form only. I'm glad I didn't call my grandma on this one. Can you imagine? The conversation with an already forgetful 90-year-old about her crying and being upset when she's not? THAT would go over well.

Oy.

Get off my bruised back, man!

So I know - I suck. I'm a bad, bad blogger. You can't give me any more guilt than I've already given myself. I used to be Catholic for cripes sake.

I've started two different posts this week, but there was a problem. They were horrible. They weren't funny, they lacked anything interesting. Some would argue that most of my posts are that way and I've still managed to keep the the blog going for over a year. (chick-chick-boom! mra3=dork [that was for you katmat])

It's Friday the 13th, kiddies. *insert scary movie music here* Julie's birthday is on the 13th, so every now and again her birthday falls on a Friday the 13th *insert tinkling piano AND scary movie music here*. One year, and I think it was actually her 13th birthday *insert dramatic duhn-duhn-duhn music here* we rented every Jason movie there was and had a slumber party. Back then I was tough. Back then I could handle the blood-n-guts scary movies. Oh who am I kidding...Julie's brothers had to walk me halfway home for YEARS. Still do. I'm a huge scared-of-the-dark-frady-cat sissy. *insert canned laughter here...and pointing*

I can no longer watch scary movies. They freak me out. In fact, I'll share my neuroses a little further. Most of you already know this, but I really do believe that there are "killers" that follow me and are just waiting for me to be
a) alone in the dark outside
b) locking the basement door when it's late and therefore dark outside
c) getting something out of my car in the garage when it's late and dark.

And these aren't The Killers, mind you - because that would be awesome. (I want a lunchbox with Brandon Flowers pictures on it. I love you Brandon, call me.) Yes, I have their button on my jean jacket. Don't you judge me! Have you seen him? He's dreamy cute and I love their songs and oh my, it's John Taylor from Duran Duran all over again. I'm sick, I know. Shut up.

Back to the OTHER killers...lowercase k...they live somewhere around my barn, I think. I'm not sure, I've never actually seen them. They're sneaky. And I just know that if...well, let's say that I do "a)" and go outside when it's dark and scary all by myself. They are going to stalk me in the shadows, possibly whispering, wait until I'm totally freaking out with the hairs raised on the back of my neck, and then jump out of the darkness and mutilate me and put me in my trunk. Actually, that's the way all 3 scenarios end. And the death is long and torturous and drawn out. I'm not even sure if they're men or women, but they're out there. And they follow me. Like not only can I absolutely NOT go outside in the dark in MY house, I also cannot go outside in the dark at YOUR house. Not by myself anyway. Not going to happen, not unless you want me dripping my blood out of my trunk and onto your driveway. Do you want that? Do you???

I've been close to death a couple of times now. I've actually teased the killers and gone outside in the dark by myself and gotten to the hairs raised on the back of my neck part, which is after the the stalking and whispering part! Close calls - because we all know what comes next! The jumping out of the darkness and mutilating me part. Luckily I escaped by running back to the house screaming. That's how you scare them off. That's a free tip from me to you if ever you're confronted by the killers in the dark.

So happy Friday the 13th everyone. Snuggle under a blanket and watch a good romantic comedy tonight. Forget that scary stuff - it's overrated. Besides, you can come to my house anytime you want and hang out with REAL killers. Geesh.

*ETA: Click on the Eileen link to see her latest entry in her local paper. She blames ME for her Idol addiction. The nerve! You can't blame someone else for your own lack of willpower, Eileen. It's time you took responsibility for YOU.

Baby Got Back!

Okay, you know I love you guys - because I am about to post half naked pictures of myself. When I told Kev-head that I needed him to take pictures of my back because I wanted everyone to see my cupping marks ... his response? "Your blog is turning into porn site!" Ummmm what? And then quickly followed it up with "I might have to read it more." Okay, Mr. Funnyman...whatever, let's go take some pics! NO ONE is allowed to make fun of my pale skin, my tan-lines, my bra marks, my freckles or my back fat.

Are we clear about the rules?

Good...here we go...
According to Kevin and the girls here in the office who have seen the one at the very very top...it actually looks worse in person. But still, it doesn't hurt. I swear. I still have some tightness in my sore shoulder, but not as bad as it was. I need to stretch and drink more water. duh.

Now for the bad. Screaming, raging, hellacious migraine last night. Wanted to die. Visual impairment, dry heaves, ice pick headaches all leading up to the main event, the vice gripping unyielding light-yourself-on-fire, pray-for-death migraine. I'm still not all the way over it today, my right temple is still hurting a bit. New naturopathic doctor says my metabolic by-products must have flowed into my head. I'm not sure what that means, but it doesn't sound good. I'm more than willing to ride this one out. I've ridden everything else out...brutal massage therapy sessions that left me in tears, chiropractors adjusting me and making me hurt MORE, physcial therapy hell, MRI's, multiple x-rays, yadda-yadda-yadda. Sometimes you have to take the bad to get the good. So we'll wait it out and see what happens. In the meantime she said maybe we won't do the cupping next time, just the acupuncture.

I think I'm okay with that...

Go shorty, it's your birthday, we're gonna party like it's your birthday...

What am I doing today??? Getting poked and getting hickeys!! Hooray!!

WHAT? Has Rebecca lost her fucking mind??

No kids...I haven't. I went in for acupuncture and cupping today. I didn't know about the cupping part until I got there. For those of you unaware, my shoulder problem has been flaring up again. Not wanting to go back to the den of torture called physical therapy and take even more prescription anti-inflammatory and muscle relaxers with who-knows-how-many long term side effects, I decided to break up with Western medicine and try a new approach.

I was nervous about the acupuncture...I've never had a problem with needles, but I've also never voluntarily stuck a dozen of them in various places on my body and left them there for 20 minutes. I didn't even feel them. I kind of felt her pushing them in, but while I was laying there I didn't feel a thing...well, that's not true - the one on my neck just below my hairline was itching a bit. Then she said she wanted to do some cupping....mmmmmmm, yeah...okay, sure, why not. I remember Gwyneth from some news story where she showed up with circular bruises on her back. I wanna be like Gwyneth - let's go.

Yeah, her bruises were small...mine? BASEBALL size or bigger. All over. No, it didn't hurt. It sure looks like it did, but it didn't. I swear I'm going to have Kevin take pictures tonight so I can post them tomorrrow. It looks wickedly worse than it feels. It promotes blood flow and movement of bodily fluids and Qi ... don't you want your blood and your Qi flowing??? I know I sure do. I could use a little more Qi or Chi or whatever you want to call it.

Overall my natural healing experience was a positive one, and I really like this naturopath. She sent me home with some natural remedies (which cost me all of $25, I can't even buy a 10-day supply of prescriptions on that, let alone a month), some dietary changes and overall I feel really good right now.

Other than the giant hickies...